Newbie - FAQ

Im getting married soon...
raul32 17945 reads
posted

Here is my dillema.  I am not looking to be a life long hobbyist.  I am 22 years old, am about to graduate from college with a bachelors in Computer Science and Business, and am about to get married in a couple months to a beautiful woman.  You see, the problem is that I have been with her for four years, and she is the only woman that I have every slept with. Its not that I dont enjoy having sex with her, because we have great sex.  I guess I just want one more rendevous with another woman before I take the plunge.  Does that make me a bad person?  I dont want to do it after I get married.  Is it a bad Idea to see a provider?  I just want to have one amazing night of sex without the emotional attatchment.  What do you guys think?

Your looking to step on ONE huge landmine .... Are you really ready to wed... think about what you said ...you want to have one amazing night of sex ... what if it is amazing can you give it up?  and if it's not will you continue to keep looking ... maybe rethink marriage .... if not I'll see you at the next Bash ....

I agreed with you for a long time. But now after reflection, I really must agree with Spinner. If you were merely in a relationship I MIGHT agree with you. But you are engaged and in my mind if a couple is as far along as you and your fiance' are, then the marriage ceremony, and the marriage license are merely a formality.

Remember what I was told many years ago.

Even though you are on a diet that doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. However, Most important to succeed in life one must take ones meals at home.

Good luck.

raul3215448 reads

You see, I dont know what it is, because I really do love and want to marry my soon to be wife.  I guess you can say it might be a case of cold feet, or something similar.  The thing is, I was never really involved sexually with a lot of women, mostly because I was young and inexperienced.  But once I got involved with her I just ended up staying with her and had no real chance to test my new confidence.  I know that Im an attractive guy, I dated a lot of women before her, but I was freakin weird!! What can I say man, I turned down a lot of women for sex which looking back on it, I wish I hadnt.  Im not afraid to try it out and have a great expereince and want to keep doing it after Im married because I have a lot of self control (hence Im 22 and have been faithful to the same woman for the last four years).  Am I kidding myself or should I just find a provider and have a great time?

I was basically in the same position you find yourself in now in terms of having very limited sexual experiences with women (1 other than my ex-wife).  But I never considered having that last minute fling before walking down the aisle.  It sounds that you've already made up your mind to take the plunge.  IMHO, I would advise against it, you've gone this far with her without grazing in other pastures and if you did, it would weigh on your mind and that's no way to start a marriage.  

I got into the hobby after I got divorced to fulfill my fantasy of being with previously unattainable hot women and found that sex with my ex was just as good if not better in some instances than sex with a provider.  Yes, the providers in a lot of cases were better looking than my ex, but the emotional connection I had with my ex put the sex on a different level.

flyunited15506 reads

Your original post says you never had sex with another woman and your second syas you have been faithful for the last four years.

Did you file false reviews with TER to get a free membership or are you lying to us??

It has to be one or the other.

raul3215390 reads

Well, you know, I decided not to take the plunge.  I think that what everyone said is right, and that I am not going to do anything to jeopardize what I have built with her in the last 4 years.  But it was fun fantasizing about it.  As for my reviews, "all reviews on this site are for entertainment purposes only" ;).  However the reviews are consistent with all the other reviews that were left by other members.  So none of you will be mislead.  But I have no problem admitting that I posted entertainment reviews, especially when Im sure many others have done it before me.  Im a college student, and in my time in college I discovered that free is better than not free. Lol.  Thank you for all of your responses who helped me make this not to take the plunge.  

A Spectator16521 reads

other members and could potential cost them the time and money.

Shame on you.

-- Modified on 5/12/2003 8:24:12 AM

AngelStar12571 reads

Whats the problem...it makes sense to me.  Hes never had sex with another woman, the 1st time he ever had sex was with her and hes been with her for the last 4 years hence making him faithful to her (the only woman hes ever slept with) for the last 4 years.

What I don't get is why are you getting married so early?  If you are worried about getting into a marriage without experiencing other things, then y didn't you do all that stuff before deciding to get married.  That waht most of the people I know did, got all the stuff they ever wanted to do out of the way before even considering marriage that way it wouldn't be such a temptation.

IMHO people aren't supposed to want/miss things they never had, I mean if you never had it how can you crave it?  However it seems that the things you never had are more tempting because you want to know how it feels to experience them, once you have it usually takes the intrigue out of it.....turns into one of those "been there, done that" type deals.

To break it down maybe this feeling is steming from something deeper, although it may seem like a bad idea maybe you should talk to her about your relationship, maybe you will find that something is missing that you both need to attend to.

Staff14040 reads

The looser... I mean the user has been banned from TER and his reviews removed.

-- Staff

theaceman12498 reads

for acting quickly by removing the false reviews and banning him.  I'm outraged that it happened...

lanmark16911 reads

Damn it! I took the time and trouble to post a thoughtful, genuine review that was not published. One that I enquired about to find out what I did wrong -- without getting a reply. And here's this kid, half-a-century my junior posting false reviews and getting published. I don't give a damn about the free ride, I can afford to pay my way, but I just wanted to pass on, to others of my generation, a review of a super SP with whom I had a great time even though I couldn't rise to the occasion.

A Spectator15014 reads

the reason why your review was not approved.  Sometimes a simple change of phrases, the use of some known abbrev. (e.g. BBBJ) instead of long description, and proper pruning of long passages will get your resubmitted review approved.

My first review was rejected twice because of too much descriptions of the environment, the feeling and not enough explicit juicy descriptions.  (The ratio on that review was about 70%-30%)  I think Staff like to have the balance of none sexual - sexual description (30% vs 70%) or at least (45% vs 55%).

Once you have several reviews passed, the requirement for approval would be less stingent.

Keep trying.

-- Modified on 5/14/2003 7:25:02 PM

lanmark15696 reads

Thanks for the hints as to why my review was not accepted. But why do I have to rely on the good graces of a fellow member? Why must I now guess which of your suggestions is the best fit for me? Why does the staff not inform me of precisely what is wrong?

I did send an email asking what I did wrong, or what I failed to do right, and attached a copy of the review, but no reply.

Why should I keep trying to let others know about my opinion of an SP if the owners of the board won't communicate with me and tell me where I'm (in their opinion) going wrong. There's no value, to me, in posting my reviews and the value of my membership is diminished if they prevent others from posting genuine review for me to assess when looking for an SP.

...and then they let this kid rip them off!!!

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