i will be partaking of my first session soon, and i was wondering about the timing of giving a gift. i have setup a dinner/date with someone and was wondering whether or not to give her a gift at the start or the end of our session. on her website, she states that gift are not necessary, and she does not have anything listed, but i think i would like to offer her something. i know what i would like to give her, but i am not sure of the timing. any opinions would be appreciated. t i a

Why give a gift?  She's not your girlfriend, nor will she be.  She is providing a service.  Why are you romanticizing?
In fact, I keep away from any provider who has a gift/wish.  I think it's vulgar and tantamount to shilling.

I am a newbie too.  Even though it is a service and she is not your girlfriend, or mine, she is a lady that we have chosen to be close to for a short while.  I always take a gift.  Don't know too many girls that don't like candles and you can get a nice one for under $10.  Unlike the previous poster, I think it is a nice gesture, even if not required.  I don't expect better service, but I feel better having given her a gift. Just my $.02.

Gift giving truly isn't necessary, but it is a very kind and sweet gesture. If it is something that you want to do, then by all means, give her a gift and enjoy yourself.

I would suggest giving her a gift at the start of your date, perhaps over dinner since you said it was going to be a dinner/date.

If you were taking a GF out to dinner on a date, what point would you likely give her a gift? Over wine while you wait for your dinner? At her place (or yours) after dinner? Giving a gift to a provider would be no different in terms of timing.

Good luck and have fun

hard to "hide" something like flowers...but if it's small - like a gift card, give it to her afterwards

Gift giving is something that I think helps brighten the provider's mood and signals that you value what she is offering beyond monetary considerations. These are still women and all women love a little extra appreciation.

Use her website (or pre-date discussions) to find out some personal preferences and then use that to help with the gift. She likes to read? Maybe a favorite book you like or a bookstore gift card would do. Likes seafood? How about a gift certificate for a seafood restaurant, etc? Lingerie might be good for a second or third date.


I love giving flowers but they can be awkward to carry around and may not be appropriate for some settings without arousing suspicion so I have bought little gift bags instead and included the "donation" in with a card and a few goodies, some homemade and others not. For one, it was so close to her birthday that I just made it like a birthday gift.

Be creative, let it reflect something the two of you may have in common but also let it be discreet so as not to tip off nosy neighbors.

-- Modified on 8/31/2006 12:57:39 AM

The most important gift you can give any provider is to be clean, respectful and polite.  If you bring a nice gift and your teeth look like baked beans, well, guess what she'll remember?

Most rates are all inclusive.  Tipping and gift giving are not expected.  I dont tip the waitress before my meal to set the tone for the type of service that I feel I deserve. Tipping and gift giving should be based on the level of service received.  

I want an experience that I feel that once the donation has been taken care of turns into a session that does not feel as though it was paid for.  

GFE, there is alot of providers that just dont get it. Personally, I would rather spank the monkey then be with a gal that cant provide the illusion that she wants to be with you. If some of these gals want to invest in themselves.  Take an acting class!  In fairness to others, there are some that truely do get it and provide the complete package.  Their reviews show constant high marks.

You also said that this was your first encounter as a hobbyist and with this provider.  I, personally would have a hard time setting a dinner date with someone that I dont know that Im going to click with.  I think the dinner date thing is for down the road.  The right gal...a little spirits....unforced conversation with alot of verbal foreplay and then some uncontrolled animalistic sex.  WOW, I just pictured that..Big tip!

Nice thing about TER is that you get a picture of what a provider is really like before hand.  I want to see a gal that I know that I am going to have to tip.

...this is just the way I am. I'm a good tipper at restaurants too and if I had to pay up front the way I do with providers, I might just include a nice tip in the beginning and hope I'm rewarded for it.

To be honest, I want to set a good mood when I walk in (or when she walks in). I want her thinking this could be beyond the ordinary.

Besides, anytime I'm setting up something with a provider, we've already traded e-mails and phone calls for at least a week so I already have a feel for what she's like. I've already researched some reviews and gone over her website.

That doesn't insure that disaster might not follow but I'm a cautious person by nature so I generally have limited my risks by the time the date is at hand.

I gave a gift my first time with a provider after a miscommunication screwed up our first appointment.   She rescheduled for the next night, and realizing I had possibly cost her business, I felt a gift was in order...nothing special, a gift card, but I wanted her to know I was aware of the consequences of my screwing up...

Very good idea. It's rarely a mistake to treat a woman with respect and appreciation, even if a few of them make you regret it. Far more will reward you for your kindness.