your mother-in-law..
I say provider.
sometimes the provider says that she will call you to confirm, or she will tell you should call.
If there is no proper communication as to who should call, I always offer to confirm.
they confirm right?
If there is no proper communication as to who should call, I always offer to confirm.
First, you are not calling a doctor! Who, by the way has a receptionist to call with a reminder the day before, but believe me is is not for your benefit. Second, I don't know what kind of plumbers you deal with, but I've always felt lucky if they show up within a few hours of when they are supposed to. And don't get me started on the phone company with their "we will be there sometime between 8 and 12! How would that work for you with your provider?
Bottom line, joking aside, IMO it totally on you if that is something you need. There are no union regs here. I would not expect an independent provider to confirm with me unless that is something that she specifically offered to do, and even then I wouldn't depend on that. The one exception is if you are booking through an agency, where the appointment setters may follow up on advanced booking to confirm on behalf of the provider. There is your doctor analogy
If its an experienced, well reviewed lady and she tells me she will confirm with me the day before, I will usually wait till mid-day or so the day before, before I contact her, unless she gave me specific directions that she would confirm early evening the night before.
It also depends if I have a history with the lady and we have seen each other often in which case i usually confiirm with her. Same thing with younger, more inexperienced ladies. I would tend to reach out to them first, since I may have less confidence the appt will go thru.
I often do outcall in which case I almost always confirm for I have to give hotel info, elevator info, parking info, etc.
ever appt with new lady?
Or are you just trying to establish a protocol? In general the provider will confirm but circumstances vary.
for how most do it.
The last two providers I scheduled, one of them NCNS and other cancelled last minute.
It would not be out of line that I would consider the appt cancelled if we had a 5pm appt and the provider had not yet confirmed by 2 or 3pm. Correct? Usually, I will mention this when setting appointment. " If I don't hear from you by ..."
If you are, your ncns and cxl rate will be much lower going forward. If you are seeing young BP girls with no or few reviews, thats a different story. And yes, you should have your appt confirmed well in advance of 2 hours prior. I confirm 24 hours in advance so if there is a glitch and I dont hear from her the day before, I still have the next morning to straighten it out.
I dont see BP girls, only P411.
I have in the past and I could be the one who confirms but i think it would behoove the ladies to do it. otherwise how do they plan their day not knowing until hours before if the appointment is a go?
I now go in to every appointment as a coin toss whether or not it's gonna happen. I try to avoid making the drive if I can which is why I don't like finding out 2 hours before if theer is even going to be an appt.
btw, every single lady I've ever seen has good reviews.
"If I don't hear from you by" is the same as saying go ahead and book a better (longer) appointment if you can.
It's not a pissing contest to see who blinks first. If you want to see the lady you need to be proactive.
My clients and I AGREE on a confirmation time the day of, for him to get the location. If he does not contact me, I don't go chasing him around asking what happened. My clients have jobs, families, and obligations that I don't need to interrupt to find out if we are still on. He can contact me at HIS leisure.
-- Modified on 1/10/2013 11:39:23 PM
if the appt was made well in advance with no mention of hotel info of course and there is no confirmation until 2-3 hours before agreed upon time?
I expect a confirmation the day OF, not 3 days before...that makes zero sense to me, as anything can happen within that time. I also don't give out my location until a few hours before if it is a hotel or a new client. The guy is always free to send me a note a day before to make sure all is good to go, but I still require a confirmation the day of for the location. There is no reason a guy needs my location 2 days before the appt.
Here is why it is best for YOU to confirm...we don't know what you have going on. Your wife could have hacked into your email, work emergency that prevents you from talking, or you simply found a cheaper, better option and changed your mind. If you don't confirm, no harm no foul. If I have to be the one chasing you around and you don't answer, what's the point? It is more about a client's right to have his private life respected, without some hooker trying to get in touch with him.
-- Modified on 1/10/2013 10:26:39 PM
the day of makes sense if it was a few days before but not if it was two weeks.
I could see giving hotel info too soon might be a concern. if you're not confirming until a few hours before( and you don;t have to give out hotel info to confirm) then how do you plan your day? that would mean your window for cancellation with proper notice is diminished??? I could say "well we really didnt have an appt because you didn't confirm early enough" so i can cancel.
IMO the earlier, the better. it's easier to make other plans that way.
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If a guy needs to CANCEL, he can contact me at ANY time, and same goes for me if I have to cancel, but do you honestly think if I have an appt at 4 p.m. I am going to get ready at 9 a.m. for it? Um no. It takes me roughly 3-4 hours to get ready as in makeup, hair, bath, shaving, etc. drive to an incall, set the place up, etc.
I am NOT doing any of that until I get a confirmation a few hours before, and I am not sitting around with my hooker heels and makeup on. If you book an appt 2 weeks out, sure you can send me a note a day before to let me know things are on, BUT if you don't get the location the DAY OF, we won't be meeting. Why would I tell a guy to confirm the night before, when he can still cancel the day of? That's what you're missing here. Odds are nothing is going to happen in 2 to 4 hours right before an appt. but a LOT can happen in 12-16 hours. What do you mean "how we plan our day?" I assume I have an appt. whether he confirms or not, and go about my business until I know for sure giving me time to get all ready.
You do what works best for you, and I will continue to do what works for me. I don't tend to get many cancellations, but when I do, they let me know well in advance if they can. You are the one dealing with flaky providers who not only cancel on you last minute, but have the nerve to NCNS. It is safe to say, my way of doing things works a hell of a lot better lol.
-- Modified on 1/10/2013 11:43:32 PM
I'm not.
Btw she speaks for herself very well
I personally always have a gent confirm one hour before the appointment, whether it be incall or outcall(the ONLY exception is when a gent has to drive over an hour/I have to drive over an hour, & that is taken into consideration). We "plan our days" on whether we have an appointment scheduled for a set time. If we have an appointment scheduled, then we assume that they gent will confirm on time... hence why NCNS are a pain in the a**. When a gent cancels, whether it be an hour before the appt, or 4 hours before, the chance of re-booking that time slot is usually slim.
Most well-reviewed ladies are quite good at keeping appointment times, & it is dependent on YOU to follow through and confirm. If I haven't heard from someone up to 15 min past their confirmation time, I assume they have NCNS, & continue on with my day.
I could see giving hotel info too soon might be a concern. if you're not confirming until a few hours before( and you don;t have to give out hotel info to confirm) then how do you plan your day? that would mean your window for cancellation with proper notice is diminished??? I could say "well we really didnt have an appt because you didn't confirm early enough" so i can cancel.
IMO the earlier, the better. it's easier to make other plans that way.
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if someone cancels. I might see 2 guys a WEEK, so I normally set aside an entire day or at least 6 hours for only a 2 hour appt. If he cancels, oh well....I just go tan lol. When you are dealing with guys flying in, of course some more correspondence is required, but a guy down the street? He can confirm the day of.
+1. I have always given gents a confirmation time. If they do not call and confirm at that time, then I do not reach out to contact them. Maybe they did just stand you up.. but maybe something came up, & me calling in the midst of a family emergency is probably extremely unwarranted.
-- Modified on 1/10/2013 11:39:23 PM
your mother-in-law..
Once a time and place are arranged, both people have the responsibility to live up to the agreement. If EITHER can't make it for a reason, they have the responsibility to notify the other person in a reasonable manner. I have never understood why this business is run any differently than any other in that regard.
I don’t feel the need to “reconfirm” my dentist appointment, my haircut appointment, or much of anything else. But conversely if I have a 2 PM appointment with my lawyer on Tuesday and I show up to find a “Gone Fishing” sign on the door I consider it very unprofessional and take my business elsewhere in the future.
Are you really saying that you feel no obligation to keep an appointment unless the lady keeps fawning over you repeatedly to say “Are you still coming?” If you need the reminder, get a note pad. She has just as busy a life as you do.
Well said Old-T, though I did not think about Julia's touring example. In those cases, I generally would reach out via PM before arriving in town to make sure everything is a go. Still, I would NOT give out my hotel at that time unless I know the guy well. It is borderline harassment if a provider is bothering you every damn day to see if he is coming. Is that not why most refer to escorts as "call girls?" Because, the guy CALLS US?
Good point. If either party is going to put out money specifically for the meeting then a confirmation is probably a good idea. But then, as you point out, it should have been discusses at the original appointment setting.
If I am going to be in town for business anyway, I don't feel obliged to receive confirmation. And if a lady is already in town (usually the case for the ladies I see) I will "confirm" if she requests it, but it isn't something I typically initiate.
I will admit I was quite upset when I arranged a date with a lady in San Antonio years ago. It was a specific day & time, and though I didn't give her the room number (I hadn't checked in yet) I did give her the hotel when I made the appointment about a week ahead of time. When I checked in from the airport and called her around 4 PM to give her the room number she said "Since you didn't confirm yesterday I assumed you weren't coming and I rebooked tonight". When I remined her she had never asked me to "confirm the day before", she got quite upset and would only babble, "Well everyone knows to do that!".
But why not just ask the lady how she wants to confirm the appointment and go from there? Not everyone operates the exact same way; why not let them tell you what they prefer?
I have had a few NCNS experiences, too. Some were completely, totally unavoidable - a crazy flaky lady who confirmed every detail and then slept through our date while I was waiting in a hotel parking lot for the call with the room number, and a previously reliable one who was having a meltdown. But others were miscommunication.
Clearly, your system is not working. Can we agree on this? If it is not working, YOU should FIX IT. You can blame everyone else if you want, but while that may make you feel better, it does not solve the problem. So, if you want to hobby, try a different, better approach.
There are two kinds of providers, in this respect - well-organized, reliable ladies, and ones who are not well-organized and reliable. You need to figure out which type you are dealing with for each date. Of course, you cannot know for sure, but if the lady does not respond promptly, give you specific instructions, tell you what comes next and when, then you should take the lead.
If you make a date a week or more ahead of time, it is perfectly reasonable to send a brief confirmation a couple of days before the date "Looking forward to meeting you on Tuesday at 10am, let me know if anything comes up." It also is perfectly reasonable to tell her how far you have to travel and how soon you need to know a general destination so you can drive towards it. You also should be sure she knows the best way to contact you the day of the date, and that you know how to contact her.
Some ladies may find all that a little annoying, but you can do it quickly and easily in no more communications than you would otherwise have with her, and most are happy enough to know you are serious about getting together, that your date is one she does not have to worry about.
Or you can just pick an argument where you lose whether you are right or wrong...
zig
BOTH!!
Always both!!
If I confirm an appointment, but the provider does NOT... then I will assume that the provider no longer wants that appointment.
I am not going to sit around and watch the grass grow waiting days for the provider to answer. It doesn't mean I expect an response within minutes, but at a reasonable time frame.
Likewise, if the provider DOES confirm the appointment, then all systems are go!
Serpius
I know some do this, and expect this. But if an appointment is not really an appointment until a few minutes before--until you both "confirm" it--then what is the value of making advance arangements at all? It seems you only have a "pretend" appointment until the last minute.
I much prefer to live up to my word, and expect the lady will too.
... you are saying.
However, there have been times when the appointment is confirmed by both parties a few days in advance.
On the day of, I contact the provider... asking her where am I supposed to meet you?
Silence... more silence... nothing....
A few hours later, the provider will apologize to me and tell me that she overslept and wants to reschedule the session later that day. Sorry, that won't work with me. What if she does it again??
I lived up to my word, but the lady didn't.
Nope... scratch that one off my list. Moving on....
That's why in my opinion, it's important to confirm a few days before and confirm again on the day of. No one died of too many confirmations.
Serpius
I much prefer to live up to my word, and expect the lady will too.
Bluepillman first post(among others) was the type of answer I was looking for. Like what you would do?
Only posted on newbie. Board because I thought it didn't fit GD
Thanks anyway.
... the assumptions, don't ask any more questions!
You do know that this is a public forum and you are bound to get a lot of opinions. Right?
Maybe if you had done YOUR RESEARCH on that topic, you would have gotten your answers anyways.
What's wrong with you?
Serpius
Only posted on newbie. Board because I thought it didn't fit GD
Thanks anyway.
You do know that this is a public forum and you are bound to get a lot of opinions. Right?
opinions by answering the question isnt the problem.
what's wrong? nothing, stalker.
Maybe if you had done YOUR RESEARCH on that topic, you would have gotten your answers anyways.
What's wrong with you?
Serpius
Only posted on newbie. Board because I thought it didn't fit GD
Thanks anyway.