i'm new to the hobby and i recently e-mailed an asp to schedule a visit. she responded by asking for references...can someone tell me what she's looking for exactly?

a reference from another provider letting her know you are ok.  if you don't have that, i would contact her and tell her that and give her anything you feel comfotable with.  she needs to feel safe that you are not psycho or LE.

I recently had to deal with this myself. Being new to the hobbie usually means you wont have a provider referance. Some of the providers will offer an alternate means of verifying you such as, a work number (dont freak they tell the receptionist they are your dentist office or something along those lines). Explain the situation to her being as honest as you can and giving her as much information(that you feel comfortable with) as possible. You also might want to check into if she uses an online verify site like datecheck or something, never hurts to ask. Hope this helps
Still grinning from last friday
Nervestrike