as a really new provider i find it preferable to meet for an ititial cup of coffee to sense the comfort and safety factor..how do most hobbyists feel about this?

-- Modified on 12/27/2006 8:16:49 PM

-- Modified on 12/27/2006 8:34:12 PM

Most providers who will do that expect payment for their time just like date.  Would you want that as well?  

Personally, I would like to meet for beverage, yet not be expected to pay even a reduced rate, unless rate was severely reduced. Most ladies won't reduce rates very much from what I have read in providers' FAQ's.

Hope this helps a little.

I meet many girls for coffee but they would be considered more of the Non Professional and they are more selective of the guys they see.
A girl who's a professional sees most guys and uses a phone call to see guys and they see most unless they are rude, obnoxious or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

I would not have a problem meeting a girl for coffee to make sure I'm nice, polite and courteous. I only had one girl see me and bolt but she later sent me an e-mail apologizing, saying she got cold feet and freaked out at the situation and not me.
But most guys don't have much patience so you might find it more difficult to make arrangements to meet for coffee.
It all depends on what type of town you're in. When there's a lot of demand, you would get guys doing more but in a large market, most guys would pass and move on to another girl who might screen through the phone.

RH

upon the provider and the situation.  For an initial meeting, I have done this and scheduled a two hour session with the lady... 1/2 hour being taken on the frontside to loosen up and chat which is fine as long as the incall in not far away.
Honestly, think after you have been in this business for a while, this will become less of a necessity as you become a "seasoned" provider.

I find this ironic, because I recently asked a provider to meet me for coffee. I haven't heard back from her again. I think if in your market there are many providers then putting a guy off until after coffee might just cost you leads. Whatever you do if  you have a clear policy of screening and can communicate that to  your first time customers it will eliminate confusion and frustration. If you require some form of screening and meeting first is part of that well, you might attract a different category of men. This all may boil down to what you can afford. If your rent is due and the phone is about to be turned off then when life gets hairy then you might be hoping for any call.

“A cup of coffee” isn’t always what the general public assumes it to mean. I’d encourage a different term if you are indeed wanting to meet in a public, non-threatening area to establish a comfort level.

Networking information with other providers and known hobbyists also helps in this situation. There are also gatherings referred to as M&G in most major cities to help break the ice in communities...…   Best wishes...…Kisses ~Tori

Her first date with new clients must consist of a 2-hour lunch date.  You meet her at a restaurant which is very close to her place.  You then have lunch or dinner and get to know each other.  At the end of lunch/dinner either party is in a positon to elect to end the date or move on to the 'dessert' fun part.  What she asks is that if the guy declines to go forward that he'll pick up the check and if she decides to decline then she will split the check.  If you each decide to proceed with the date then when you get to her room the donation is just for an hour.  

I tend to think that such an arrangement is on the rare side as she is the only one I have encountered who does this in this particular manner.  But it seems to work for her.

As far as my thoughts about it...

It was intriguing because it was so different.  I did go in feeling somehwat comfortable that I could leave if we did not click and in essence I only risked using my own time and a lunch tab. On the other hand I rely upon review history and I knew going in that she had a reliable reputation for providing good service.  So to that end I was rather sure that we would continue the date and therefore I'm not sure that I would like to invest my time doing this sort of thing frequently as a requirement.          

offering to meet a guy for a cup of coffee or two ....well the guy ain't thinking starbucks.

Know your hobbyist and his reputation
( Ok with a slight modification I stole that line from Tori...and Tori if that is a problem, if I ever get to Atlanta you can have your way with me for however long you wish

Thank you

Happy New Year

-- Modified on 12/28/2006 11:42:28 AM

If this works for you in your locale, then fine.  As a hobbyist, if I were attracted to you (can't tell because you posted no link), I would be more than willing to proceed under your terms.  I've only experienced this format once in my 4+ years.  Yes, we both decided to continue the date.

-- Modified on 12/28/2006 9:33:37 AM

If I made arrangements with an SP and she wanted to first meet for coffee of a drink, I would want to know what the terms are for backing out.  I would expect that if the lady required this type of initial meeting, the customer would not be required to compensate beyond picking up the tab.  Since this is still part of the "screening" process, I would not feel that any committment for service has yet been made. Totally different from it being part of the date, where "dessert" is agreed to beforehand.  After all, it would be her decision to use this method, and if it takes her away from other potential clients, that is a business decision she would have to make.

actually funny you said this..because that's what did happen right after i posted this..met someone for what i said emphatically would be just a 'cup of coffee' to say hello.  next thing i knew, man told me he didn't like coffee  said 'get in the car and let's ride around'....needless to say i got in my own and drove away real fast...thanks again for the pointers here

Many girls will meet for a drink before retiring to the room.  That assumes you've gotten through the screening, and now it's a case of growing comfortable with you.

I like the fact that she's got it so spelled out though.  So many uncomfortable situations could be avoided by both sides understanding the "terms" of the transaction.

Lif3e is an adventure.  There are more of us guys than great providers.  I think many of the "good" ones will pass on your offer for a $3.00 cup of Starbucks -- it really isn't worth the maintenance.  The first 5-10 minutes I spend with a new provider is always "that cup of coffee" time. This is the big leagues.  Step in, take the temperature, and enjoy the swim.  Almost all providers are so much more accomodating than us guys -- we worry about way too much. My advice, as always, is start with a well reviewed woman, start an email and phone dialogue, and step in.

I really wasn’t trying to be a smarty...… I just know that term could seriously confuse a hobbyist. (*I guess you know by now what the term “cup of coffee” usually refers to right?*)

As providers, we all have a funny story or two about things that happened when we first started out...…well, maybe not SinsOfTheFlesh (*she is the most together newbie provider I have ever met!!!.... definitely a rarity !!!*)  -BUT- most of us did something similar. (*you’ll look back and giggle soon about it*)  Best wishes...…~Tori

thank you kindly Tori, you've been very helpful..i truly appreciate when an experienced provider can offer some insight and her own expertise to help me out. i have a lot to learn along the way i guess. thanks..emme

I'd like to spend a little to first meet and connect with the Provider. I'd get more out of it than the short phone calls/emails. Like most businesses, I want to meet my service provider first.

I'm a newbie and am looking forward to the days when I can laugh at some of my early adventures!  Thanks for being so candid in this and your other posts.  Through you and many others on TER, I am learning many things to enhance what I can offer hobbyists while maitaining my safety and sanity.

If I'm sneaking away from work for an extended lunch break and thus pressed for time, I'd object to it -- unless, of course, it was made clear beforehand, and you could do it as a sort of "pre-screening" on a different day than the prospective appointment.  The lady would have to be conveniently located for me to do that -- while I'm sometimes willing to drive 30-45 minutes to get to a session, I'm not going to do so for a "let's talk first" cup of coffee.

If the lady was someone I was interested in seeing in more than a "Wow, I'd love to do some gymnastics with her" fashion, I'd be open to the idea.  However, unless she had reviews (and I could provide references) I'd worry about an LE setup, as they might be trying to get someone to admit something to a recorder.  Maybe I'm just paranoid, but...

That said, there are several ladies I've done appointments with that I'd love to see on a casual, "let's get a mocha" basis just to chat.  I'd be happy to buy the coffee drinks, but I'm not willing to pay any hourly rate just to drink a latte with them, and I know their time is valuable.