I'm sure this question comes up all the time.

I travel quite a bit. I'd love to use my time on the road for some fun. I do my homework here and read the reviews. I assume that, for the most part, someone with a decent number of reviews is probably reasonably safe.

Then I make contact via email.

Since I am paranoid/chicken I'm afraid to provide my real name. The one and only time I did this was many years ago. When I returned to that city, they still had me "on file". That kind of freaked me out - even thought that is the way it is supposed to work.

So, I'd prefer not to call from my cell phone (it is a work phone and I'd rather the number not get out via caller ID) and I'd prefer not to provide my name (I posted once a while back and people told me to never give out my real name).

So, how do I connect?
You can't register at the hotel under a different name - that seems impossible.

Plus, I know that the provider needs to feel safe also.

Any tricks to making the connection and protecting your identity? I'm never able to follow-through because of this.

Thanks.

The question does come up a lot and you would be best served by searching for and reading several of the threaded discussions that have taken place on this subject already.

Essentially it boils down to you staying within your comfort zone - while still respecting the need for providers to be safe about the choices they make.  

If you don't want to give out your work number, buy a pay-as-you-go cellphone (like a TracFone - WalMart, $20) and use it only for hobbying.  But then just accept that you cannot see providers who require, as part of their screening, work information.

If you don't want to give your name, then try going with an agency.  Some of them don't ask for a last name - so you can just use your first name.  But then just accept the fact that you can't see ladies (independent or agency) that ask for full name (and many do).  

Ultimately, you decide what level of anonymity works for you in your life.  Then you work within those boundaries.  People only get flamed around here when they complain about provider screening methods being unfair.  They're not unfair or unwarranted.  Some providers or agencies may feel comfortable with minimal information.  You'll have to find those and stick with them.

Your best chance may be to find providers comfortable with the information you're willing to give, then use them as references for future dates with others.

But if you find that the level of anonymity you require is not compatible with the amount of information that providers in your area request, then I'm afraid you'll have to find another hobby.

Good luck,

-PV

Get a throw away cell like Tracfone no way to ID it. Get a prepaid Visa or Master charge and use an alias register at the hotel under the alias and use the prepaid MC. Now you aren't going to be able to take the room charge as an expense on your tax return but you can't have your cake and eat it too Go to hushmail and get an email addy under the same alias Hope this helps

...we want to feel safe. Upon arrival I need to see the gentleman's ID quickly to verify the name and the photo.

You're correct, if you choose a well-reviewed, independent provider, you can feel safe in giving her your name.  As safe as she will feel with being alone with a stranger.  Comfort on both sides equals a lovely encounter.  

Her objective, as a provider with lots of excellent reviews, is to continue working.  She has zero interest in causing you or herself any problems, ever.  She is a professional.  Look for excellent reviews, a phone number, website, e-mail address, etc.

Good luck, don't be too nervous.  

Thanks for the responses so far. I really appreciate it.

I can certainly do the pre-paid cell deal - that works.

I didn't know about the pre-paid credit card though. I have to investigate that - thanks.

I 100% understand the issue from the other side. If I were a provider I'd want all the info up front an then I'd use one of those websites to verify it as being legit. I'd take no chances.
SO, I'll never complain about it. I think they are doing the right thing. I just can't do it myself.

I was wondering if there was an alternate approach. Perhaps meeting in the hotel bar and showing all kinds of ID? I don't mind showing ID and answering all kinds of questions, what scares me is giving it all on the phone or through the web in advance and winding up in some database or black book.

Yeah, I'm paranoid but getting snagged on my end would be ugly.

Any additional thoughts or ideas are appreciated - thanks!

" I wanna partake in a ubiquitously illegal activity but I want the suppliers to take ALL the risks and accept me for just my anonymous voice and fake name because I got no fuckin stones of my own"

 I’m not personally picking on YOU kenmoney; but what is with this incessant wave of guys who continually want to change or get around the only security protocols separating the ladies from having their lives thrown into a Law Enforcement nightmare. Worse yet you all want to have some naive ninny tell you how to accomplish your self centered agenda on a discussion board that is regularly monitored by the coppers hoping to learn just these kinds of tricks.

  When I started out in this community and a lady wanted my name, name of employer, employer’s telephone # etc I simply gave it to them and no ill was ever suffered by it. After I got a few reviews up the providers stopped asking these questions altogether.  If you’re too pusillanimous to cough-up the cursory info to get the ball rolling without a guarantee from Lloyds of London insuring your precious anonymity I suggest a different pastime is in order.

Pardon me for being so terse; the PC and overly sensitive may now flame away.
 

-- Modified on 2/9/2006 7:17:42 PM

and don't tell us how you really feel.  

While they are very convenient the prepaid MC I use requires you to use a valid drivers license number and social security number to register and activate the card so unless you have a very understanding friend or are willing to commit identity theft they cannot serve as an alias. They are nice because they are not tied to your credit, really just a debit card. Good for internet shopping so you don't have to worry about having any bank account or credit info stolen.

I don't mind providing a reference or my work phone numbers, and ID when I arrive at her door.  However, there are forms out there that some agencies use (the vault in washington) that require much more than this type of info (including drivers licence and other info).  And you know that that type of info will remain on their computer years until LE shuts them down someday, LOL.  I deal mainly with independents and ask them to get rid of the info after they need it, and most tell me ahead of time that they get rid of it as soon as the session is over.  I try to stay away from places that store the info, especially detailed info where it would be impossible for me to say they just made it up or found the info somewhere.  This type of thing could ruin you if you ever tried for a job in politics or any other important private industry job.  Imagine you becoming important someday and the information was leaked.

The one I got didn't require all that to activate it

Pay-as-you-go cell works the best but many also want your work information. You just have to take a chance if you really want to see the provider.
 I used to frequent a popular place in NYC. I had been going there for years and was screened before my 1st visit. Of course, I assumed my personal info was deleted but after the place got busted last year, the phone girl who ran the place, called me at work to see if I wanted to make an appointment at her new place. She secretely kept all clients info on a disk in hopes of opening her own place and having all the clients.
 The business is very risky and you take a chance. Most are decent but their is always a bad apple.

Thanks.
Based on your name I'll assume you are in NJ. I am also in NJ. I travel quite a bit and would hope to connect on the road but occasionally I get the opportunity here at home. Any advice on central NJ would be appreciated.

Hi, Yes I am a Jersey guy! The agency I was refering to was in Manhattan. I used to see CJ Fox and she was awesome. She worked at MYDreamGirl's but she was the only gem there. Other girl's there are skanky & overpriced.
Mostly, I see independents who are just visiting. For some reason, the NJ agencies only hire trashy looking women. Check out Eros. Good luck!