I have the same problem and I have asked her out, we agreed no sex on these civvie dates, but I can see how she would be concerned. She has agreed to go out civvie. I have no problem with her continuing to work, but would like to know the real person to see if we could make it. I would even agree to continuing to see her normally thru the agency, but, if we do both its a real mind bender. Its like OK set up an appointment for sex then go out later or the week afer?? I think we both have reservations -- I think we both want to try to see if it would work, but we are both hesitant. Any other providers have advice -- what type of first civvie date should we try? I too am 50. Smitten -- no but certainly very interested in that she is very smart, nice to talk with, just nice to be around.
Here is my question. I am kind of new to this hobby, and I see a provider who is close to my age which is around fifty. She is really easy to talk to and I find myself attracted to her in more ways that physical. ( no, I am not smitten, I am too old for that). Just don't know how to go about asking her out just for her company.
When clients ask us providers out on civvie (non-paying) dates, it makes many of us very nervous. We think: Is he going to expect sexual favors for free now? Is he going to start harassing me if he gets attached and I am not equally attracted? Will he start to hint that I should quit the business to be only with him? If I say "no," will he get angry and stop seeing me professionally?
As you can see, many thoughts can run through your provider's mind if you take the leap and ask her out.
You don't say whether you know for sure if she's even available-- there is often a husband/boyfriend in the background that she's undertandably quiet about with her clients.
Do it if you must, but think your action- and its possible ramifications- through very carefully before you go forward.
There's usually a reason that a woman has chosen to be a professional companion-- and seeking out civvie dates is not usually it.
I don't think it's sad that you want to ask your ATF out, I think it's sad you think you're too old to be smitten. I don't think anyone outgrows being smitten. Maybe, you don't like her as much as you think?
On one hand, I saw ask her out. You won't know if you don't ask. On the other hand, I'm not sure you should cross that line. It places a lot of pressure on us ladies.
I have the same problem and I have asked her out, we agreed no sex on these civvie dates, but I can see how she would be concerned. She has agreed to go out civvie. I have no problem with her continuing to work, but would like to know the real person to see if we could make it. I would even agree to continuing to see her normally thru the agency, but, if we do both its a real mind bender. Its like OK set up an appointment for sex then go out later or the week afer?? I think we both have reservations -- I think we both want to try to see if it would work, but we are both hesitant. Any other providers have advice -- what type of first civvie date should we try? I too am 50. Smitten -- no but certainly very interested in that she is very smart, nice to talk with, just nice to be around.
It's just not the same as pretending she is your barber and you can make an appointment have your hair done and then pick her up at 7 to see a movie and get some dinner.
Sex is a very different thing.
I am dating a provider and we have a close relationship but I don't try to compartmentalize the relationship as you suggest.
Instead we relate to each other as lovers in all aspects and I make sure that financial considerations and arrangements are agreed to up front and carried out faithfully.
(It's sort of an installment plan thing.)
In any case, I think this might be a good one for the Love Goddess on The Erotic Highway board below.
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