After months of research I final picked a provider. I contacted her by email and she asked for references. I said I don’t have any. I am a new bee and she said see someone else first. She added some providers will accept work references. My problem is I have been retired for 10years. I retired at forty.

I am a kind, caring and very respectful man but how to I convince a stranger of that with out proof from people that know me?
I have read about date check and room service 2000 but it seems that they are only accepted by providers that advertise on them. Is my situation hopeless?

Do exactly what the provider says.  It kinda sucks because it's like the person looking for the first job and the employer says "you need experience first" before we can hire you.  See a couple of providers (Better if you go with Indy's) and before you know you will have your references/experience.  If you say that you and kind and caring the references will follow.  
Who are you looking at ???  PM me for more info.