I'm a happily married man (21 years and counting!) with two children and a fairly high-profile job.  I've also never had any kind of an escort experience before in my life.  

My years with my wife really amounts to the only sexual experience I've had (we married quite young and I've been perfectly faithful the whole time).  But now that we're getting older, I find myself wondering what I may have missed out on.  Plus, my wife - bless her heart - just isn't the looker she used to be, and I'm getting a bit of a roving eye.  I don't want the entanglements of an emotional affair, but maybe the idea of an occasional few hours of private companionship and release sounds nice.

So, I'm considering a first time experience with an escort - but I'm nervous and don't know what to expect.  Discretion would be extremely important - but I've seen that many escorts want actual ID's and that scares me a bit.  I worry both about my wife or kids finding out - or, because I make good money, - of blackmail after the fact.  I'd just as soon use an alias if I can, but I don't know if that's permitted by any reputable agencies.

I also wonder if the whole thing would feel cheap and tawdry and I'd feel like I got ripped off.  I'm not looking for a quick and dirty thing, I'm looking for something a little more refined and relaxed.

What sort of advice would you offer to a total newbie in my position who is considering this for the very first time?

Sorry bubba no way around it. If you refuse the screening protocols of an "A" list Girl Friend Experience ”GFE” courtesan then your only alternative will be the "tawdry" "quick and dirty thing" with the very real possibility of being ripped off.

       (Here is the good news)

  The ladies you seek that provide the clean, refined and relaxed service you desire are consummate professionals and have no interest in creating problems through indiscretion or extortion. Truth be known your innocence and naivety will probably cause them more angst than they'll ever cause you.

  Don't rush into things half-assed. Invest in the VIP membership here. Learn to navigate this site and make use of the information at your fingertips. If you don't already have a million questions you soon will. Thankfully most of the answers are here if you look for them.

  Welcome, have fun and good luck

Rick, beleive it or not, there are lots of gentlemen who feel the same as you.  I am fairly new to this business and just starting out as an independent in a new town for similar reasons.  I can see how you would be concerned with discretion, but you must understand that as a provider we are faced with alot of not so legit people and must consider our safety first.  As far as having a refined and relaxed time, I would suggest that you take your time in choosing a provider.  Give yourself enough time once you schedule someone so you both can relax and enjoy the company.  Remember, the providers are there to make your experience enjoyable, make your expectations known ahead of time.  There is always a risk of feeling ripped off.  That is a given, but most girls aren't like that.  
Good luck with your decision.  I hope you enjoy it,  I'm sure you will.

. . . this hobby is right for you? When you start justifying your hobby, happily married could soon become unhappily married.

no need to worry about that. Blackmail, will never happen with a well reviewed girl either. I wouldn't flaunt the fact that you have deep pockets. That's no one's business. Make sure to get TER VIP membership, (It's very worth it) and do your TER homework.

If for some reason you were to find out the real name and information of a lady in this business would you tell her family or blackmail her?

Now, if you take offense to the implication that you are a low life that would do that...how exactly do you assume the ladies feel when they read posts that seem to imply the person writing it thinks they are of that low life ilk?

Now there are women in this business that might do such things...but that is why this site and those like it exist. There are men that might do such things too, and that is why ladies screen.

Also, if you actually think that is how the ladies are or would be...but you don't want dirty or tawdry why would you want to join this hobby at all, I mean if they are low life ladies just waiting to out you to your wife and kids and squeeze you for a few bucks to stay quiet...there would be little chance of a good experience with her...

Now I have heard the argument that the ladies are "criminals"...well so are the clients...that knife cuts the opposite direction as well.

My advice hang out on the boards, read, learn and see if this something you can be comfortable being a part of or not.

-- Modified on 2/7/2006 1:21:29 PM

Buy a VIP membership by money order. The price is about $50 for three months. Look up providers in your area that have high performance ratings and a few reviews under their belts. Also check the review trails of hobbyists that have seen them. Ladies that are successful and clear headed about this business have no reason to blackmail you. They probaly will not have a clue about how well off you are unless you are famous or well known in town. If you are well known in town but not famous chose to hobby in cities where you are not known.
Verification by a well reviewed and successful provider is not something that you need to be concerned about. Just keep your success low key and treat her like a lady. Hobby safe and have fun.

Why use an alias?  This kind of sounds like it could be a round pastry nibbler.

Whoa! W T; I'm in full agreement that R_W has a lot of latent as well as glaring judgmental issues to deal with but that is in part what is educated OUT of newbs by coming here. He like most of American society is prejudiced by decades of negative propaganda being beaten into his head starting with his parents then backed by Clergy, teachers, radio, TV and every level of hypocrite elected official. The Civvie female population is just as prejudiced and judgmental about their sisters in this industry.

  There isn’t a seasoned hobbyist that doesn’t privately reflect with shame on their initial naiveties when they entered this community. If R_W had come to the regional or national boards both experienced AND with his predisposed judgments I myself would have walloped him upside his head with my keyboard. As a babe in the woods however he deserves at least the chance to learn and cast off the baggage of societal engineering.  

Following your frequent advice, I have set up a VIP membership.  You're right, of course, that I probably sound kind of silly with my questions to anyone who is experienced.

But that's why I'm here.  I'm trying to learn as much as I can rather than rushing into things.  I'm not even sure that I really want to do this, I'm merely curious and trying to educate myself.

One additional thought has come to mind. Both here and when I visited the chat room, I was suspected of being a cop.  My naive understanding was that escort services were not really a law enforcement target because the client and the provider aren't exchanging money for sexual favors.  Instead, you're merely paying for her company.  Sometimes sex may happen, but it is neither guaranteed nor expected.

Am I wrong about this?  Is there a genuine problem with law enforcement "stings" in the escort business?  Enough that I should be concerned?

Again, if I sound stupid asking this, I apologize in advance.

-- Modified on 2/7/2006 10:14:00 PM

-- Modified on 2/7/2006 11:27:12 PM

Hmmmmmmmm. I'm keep'n an eye on you bubba.

 The reason "chat" was smelling bacon is that coppers ask the same invasive dumbshit colonoscopy look'n up your ass type questions that newbs commonly ask. These type questions are the ones that cause providers to either hang up or not answer e-mails causing you newbs to come to this board crying that you can't get anywhere with the providers to set an appointment. Don't assume you know a fuck'n thing as yet about the intricacies of LE efforts to harass and indict. The line between entrapment and a "legal" bust is kept purposely fuzzy by prosecutorial intent and any way you cut it it's gonna’ cost thousands in legal fees to prove innocence.

 I hope WebTerrorist's diatribe taught you a few things. When you get to the point of meeting the provider for your tryst (or even just talking on the phone) leaving behind your arrogant predispositions of assumed class separation is paramount. (Humility can prove a wonderful attribute in many social endeavors. LEARN IT!).  


-- Modified on 2/7/2006 11:06:55 PM

Like you, I am new to this hobby and prior to my first contact with a provider I found I was going over all the risks I thought I could anticipate.  LE, disease, bad breath, rejection - on and on.  I was just plain nervous and scared.  The first provider I contacted had a link to TER which I followed and found this forum.  I joined as a VIP member and have learned a lot here although some of the jargon is still a mystery to me.  Here are a couple of amusing things that happened to me.
 I read somewhere that hygiene was very important and that included too much pubic hair.  So two days before my appointment I tried to trim my self with the beard trimmer on my electric razor and nicked myself!  I went nuts trying to figure out whether to cancel the appointment for fear of any one of a number of things.  I finally called the provider and gave her a good laugh as well.  I did end up going to the appointment and either I got very lucky or this review process works because I really relaxed fast and felt the least stressed out I have felt in months.
 As it turned out my body had a different idea about what was going to happen than I did and I think the sweet lady who was the provider was more concerned than I was.  I still went home feeling like a million bucks.
 Final word on a long post (sorry).  I have been hesitant to post on this board because it does seem like it is easy for some folks to view a post through a negative lens.  Overall, however, I find TER terrific, the reviews indespensible and the services fill a real gap in my life.

I asked questions.

Others who read those questions assumed that the nature of those questions must be grounded in some sort of class arrogance or superiority complex.  I assure you, that is not the case.  I have merely been trying to identify potential risks and problems before getting involved.

What I gather is that both most providers and clients are far more worried about LE problems coming from outside the exchange than they are about providers or clients providing problems for each other.

That's a bit of information (if correct) that is interesting and worthwhile to know before getting involved, isn't it?

Oh, and the alias thing seemed obvious to me with the drop down menu right there at the top of the posting window.  I might be a total newbie on this board, but I do have a bit of experience with these newfangled computer things.