Everybody has their own requirement.  As long as you are polite and sincere about your situation, I don't see how you could ruin your chances.

Contact the provider you want to see, preferably with an e-mail because whether you think you will be or not, you WILL be nervous.

Be polite.  Tell her a little about yourself.  Don't make it the too common one-liner "Hey babe, you free tonight?"

Screening is all about trust and comfort level.  She may write back and say "No, come back when you have references", but then again she might be willing to work with you.  If she sticks to wanting references and you were polite, she almost certainly will NOT hold it against you later on (and if she does, that wasn't the provider you wanted to see anyway).  She might even recommend another provider who does see newbie’s.

One admonition:  if you find a provider who will make an exception for you and sees you without references, DO NOT mention in your review that she gave you special considerations.  That part is between you and her and is no one else's business.  She'll decide if she wants to give that option to someone else or not.  Discretion is very much a two way street, you show her you can be discreet and the word gets around to other providers and your life gets much easier.

contact the lady you want to see first. Explain to her that you are a rookie, and ask if there is a particular verification site that she uses, then join that one. You may also find that she has other ways of verifying you. (Work info, etc.)

Have fun