I am an early retiree so I can not provide enough info (when I 1st started out) to satisfy well reviewed ladies who want proper verification or P411. I had to find someone on CV who has 1 review on TER (to make sure she's not LE) and her rate was at the high end and she looks TGTBT. I saw her twice and got excellent ref. With that excellent ref, I was able to see a well reviewed lady (10+ reviews). After that, I got accepted by P411 and the rest is history. I hope this helps you. It's probably not the best way to get things started, but that's all I got.

Can anybody help me out?  It's a catch 22.  The only alternative I've found is supplying work info. and that will bite me in the ass.  There is absolutely nothing keeping such information confidential nor any guarantee it will be properly destroyed.  Besides, if you're name is slightly well known, they'll remember the name.   Besides data bases are insecure (eg. P411) heck the Swiss bank employees in 80's let out many numbered accounts, Swiss bankers no longer keep their money there.

No matter who you decide to see as your first provider, they still need to verify your identity in some way.

Suggest meeting in a public area to have lunch.
Show her your ID but cover the address line with solid tape or something.

If the provider is well-revieweed, that should give you some relief and assurance that she won't misuse your info.  

Unfortunately, these days women want to screen pretty heavily.  Either see another girl or buck up.

If you are not willing to give at least one person some personal info, you might as well forget this hobby, as the previous posters said.  P411 has it's servers in Canada, I believe.  It's a lot better to give info to one person than several providers.  Gina at P411 has a pretty good rep for working with getting hobbyists verified.

Swim

I'm a newbie....haven't even seen a provider yet.  But look at this objectively:  Does P411 really have a vested interest in "outing" you?  It would put them out of business.  Does a well reviewed provider have a vested interest in "outing" you?  It would put them out of business as well.  

It is in the best interest of P411 AND well reviewed and reliable providers to be discreet.  If you can't get past that, you have a problem.

Agreed. Newbie here. This is why I went thought the process with P411 (a bit of work but not a huge painful deal). Looking forward to having some refs eventually though.

what I find interesting is that providers won't take a chance with someone who doesn't have multiple references yet  some client in the past had to take a chance on them without a review !!

In some ways it's better to break in with some OK gals & not your "IDEAL"...  because you'll be nervious & may make Newbie mistakes (as we all did).   However...  you'll have to give up some information, no matter who you see.  Many of us retired or self employed get screened by alternative information.

True, but you also have the right to be equally as picky (ie. not see a provider who doesn't have references).  Let's face it, for the MOST part, the client side isn't going to be nearly as cautious as the provider side.  You can't really fault a provider for having standards even if the client does not.  

As many have said on here, there seem to be plenty of options for the newbie if you put some time and effort in and don't take things personally.  And don't expect that things are going to happen in a day.  Be patient and be smart.....seems to be a common theme re. many subjects around here.  

It's unreasonable for the provider to take all the risk.  If you are an unknown why should she trust you are safe?

Different providers will be willing to use different ways to screen.  Find some who will work with you, treat them nicely (not talking over paying, just treat them nicely), earn a few refs and life should get easier.

Good luck.