i was asked for 2 references from a provider.  i assume she means other provider references.  but could she mean personal references?  i just joined and have no other references as i have not been with any providers yet.  catch 22... what do i do???

...look for providers who advertise they are "newbie friendly."

use other means to feel comfortable about seeing me.  I gave her what she asked for...  she wanted my landline number (not to ever call) but to do a reverse phone look up which cross referenced with the information I'd provided.

My suggestion is Date-Check.com   (don't forget the dash).  It will cost money, and you'll have to give up personal information.  Doing so also demonstrates to a lady that you are serious about this adventure.  
Once you are established there, ladies that members of D-C.com can provide you with a reference that is visible to the others, as well as provide a very good source of finding matches for your tastes with the gallery search by city engine.

has worked out great for me.

When a client contacts me, if he has no reviews on TER- I then ask if he is on any verification sites (such as P411,date check, etc). If the client does not have those, next I ask for provider references. If no references, last resort is work verification.  

As mentioned above, I recommend joining p411, date check etc. Many providers seem to like the verification sites as another way to verify their client. When a client contacts me, and says he as none of the above- but says "I am a good guy, I promise".. That does not work for me. Sorry, it never will! :/  

Good Luck,  
Xoxo Kayden