It's no secret that I'm in my early 20's

But I love women, especially reputable mature women with great reviews and positive attitudes.  Basically, the type of women who don't usually see guys like me.  

So I book our dates by email and don't mention age and hope she doesn't ask.  Then she will find out only when we speak on the phone or meet and she will be unlikely to cancel at that point.  She will most likely figure if I want to see her this badly, then it's worth a shot.

The most common remark I get:
-"If I knew you were so young, I wouldn't have agreed to see you, but I'm glad I did.  Sure, I'll see you again."

Note, that I don't lie.  If she asks, I tell her. But I always hope she doesn't ask so I don't bring it up.

Tell me, is this dishonest and would you feel angry if it happened to you?

What you are talking about is commonly refered to as a "lie of omission", purposely leaving out or withholding something pertinent because it may effect your ability to get what you want, or have the outcome you desire.

If you didn't mention your age because you were ignorant of the fact that it may be an issue for a lady is one thing...but to do so specifically because you know it is an issue is another. That you hope that her finding out only when you speak or meet will be cause for her to go through with something she otherwise wouldn't speaks to the fact that you have a purpose and desire to "mislead" in the hopes of getting what you want.  

Irony there is, if the ladies knew you were aware of their possible issues with younger clients and failed to mention it on purpose, that behavior could be seen as one of the very reasons they don't like younger clients.  

Also, if you know your age would be an issue for a lady and chose to withhold that information, you are by that, to some extent, taking away her freedom to chose which clients she wishes to based the criteria she choses.  

Then there is the possible downside to you.  If a lady doesn't wish to see younger clients, and you withhold your age so she will have a session with you anyway, it is possible she will resent that, it is possible it will make her uncomfortable, or  cause her to generally distrust you (if you withheld something you knew was important to her process of deciding which clients to see, whatelse might you not be mentioning?) and even if she goes through with the session can have it negatively effect how she performs within that session.

I do know of a  number of ladies that would walk out on you at meeting, because they have the attitude that if you will lie or mislead (even by omission) her about something small then you can not be trusted with anything big...like being alone with her behind closed doors.

If you really possess a maturity beyond your years, so much so that ladies that don't see younger clients would be inclined to make an exception for you...you might actually think about showing that maturity in being honest and forthright in your initial contact with them, it may cost you some sessions you would want to have, but it might also have the benefit of a lady being able to think of you being as mature as you might think, and not some "kid" that will play a game akin to the idea of it being "easier to ask forgiveness than permission".  

Just a thought.

There were several ladies who flat out refused to see me because of my age, and some took some gentle persuasion and agreed to see me.  Eh, such is life.

I appreciate what you said about being honest upfront and not omitting this especially if she advertises about age preference.  That is the best policy in my opinion too.

There is a certain lady with excellent reviews who has declined me 4 different times with 4 different excuses but I think the real reason is my age and she's too polite to say so.

You need to be as honest as they are. They always give their correct age, weight, measurements, etc.  They never use fake or touched up photographs.  They never advertise GFE when they don't offer GFE.

Sweet lil LADY WEBBIE

Thank You

-- Modified on 9/2/2006 5:35:26 PM

Yo’ BT; WORD UP!!

 Women consider ANY white lie or secret of their's concerning a man OK.
A man however; not voluntarily disclosing his ENTIRE history in triplicate documented form to a woman is considered a pathological liar.

It ain't logical, it ain't fair; it just IS.

 As long as you aren't playing the sophomoric games most guys in your age group play in respect to providers; keeping your age clandestine until you actually meet is not indicative to turpitude. Hell; half or more of the providers are advertising they're 5 to 15 years younger than they actually are.

 The reasons providers don't normally book with guys in their twenties is pragmatic. So too is your reasoning for not disclosing your age.

If there is no harm; there is no foul.    


-- Modified on 9/2/2006 9:03:22 PM

I think the lady who has told you "no" four times just doesn't want to see you. Accept it and move on.

Women have several reasons for prefering older clients however, you appear to have seen enough now that you can give her references so play to your strengths. Your reviews on TER say things about you, not just who you reviewed.

So perhaps you should say you are a "younger guy" with good references that you are happy to have her check out. It might not convince every provider but it might get you more yesses than nos.

FWIW, if the client has money, good references and passes screening, you'd think most providers wouldn't care that much about his age. Unless, of course, he's young enough to be her son.

The lady that you went to see was fat instead of thin, black instead of white, a TS instead of a "real" woman?  If the session turned out OK, would it still matter?

People have preferences...and that's OK.  That's why TER has those fields to screen.  If a lady has preferences and states them, I think you're setting yourself up for a bad date if you try to sneak around them, and still convince her that you're an OK guy in spite of the fact that you've lied, even if it's just a "sort-of" lie.

No, I don't think your actions are dishonest at all, with a few possible exceptions.

If the lady clearly states on her website that she prefers not to see younger men, and you contact her anyway and do not tell her your age, that would be dishonest. Also, if the lady were to ask you your age, and you lied about it, that would be dishonest.

Aside from either of those situations though, no I would not say that failing to mention your age is dishonest. While there are some ladies who see only older gentlemen, these ladies represent the minority of providers. Furthermore, it is up to the provider to screen out those she does not wish to see, either by stating her preferences on her website, or asking questions before agreeing to see you. If neither of those things occur, it is reasonable to assume that your age isn't an issue for her.

some ladies have strange restrictions, even the young ladies.  Like only seeing caucasian married gentlemen over the age of 35.  I guess these women feel safer with such people.  There was one girl who was around 20 years old but would only see men over the age of 40 and advertises specifically for the "daddy's girl fantasy".  

Whatever.  I suppose it's important for both parties to feel comfortable with each other.

I feel it's only dishonest if you are asked outright what your age is and you lie.
I usually ask age, but it's purely because I'm curious, not because I have age restrictions.
Honesty is always preferred.

-- Modified on 9/4/2006 9:10:43 AM

Dude,

I'm glad to know that being older than your 20-something has some benefits associated...

mature attitude, relaxed and non-aggressive, and deep pockets.  They are not looking for boyfriends...well most are not.  I found it is mostly the amateurs on Craig's List that say they want to see younger guys...and some of these girls really do want to date me for free and take the donation just for the bedroom time.