Good question. Before starting the hobby I think I would often "overgift" ladies which would make them uncomfortable and create an uneven relatioship. It would have kind of the opposite effective what I wanted. Then I got to where I felt it was somehow bribing someone which was a screwed up head to have and I wouldn't bring gifts at all.
In the time I tried match.com, etc I tried bringing a CD the first time. After a while I wanted to bring Prozac, Lithium, Clozapine or compoze for them and Aspirin for me on the first date
In the hobby if I am seeing someone new and it is an outcall to my house I have a couple dozen roses in a vase and some nice chocolate available. If it is an incall the first time I don't take anything except the filled out envelope. This is very hard for me because I really want to try to control things so the provider will like me (carry over from civilian days). Once I have seen someone then I have a sense of what they are like, their situation and the like. One lady moved since I first saw her so I brought her a small housewarming gift but talked with her about it first. I also brought her flowers one time, but with permission for fear it would out her to her neighbors. One time a few years ago in the civilian world I gave my SO a home made gift card for an hour of DATY (from me). That was very well received and was requested again over the years.
I really liked the idea above about putting a sweet note in the enevelope. Thanks for the idea. I will use it.
Bottom line is that it is ok not to bring something the first time and overall may be the wisest choice.
B
hello everybody what types of gifts are appropriate to take for the provider other than what i would pay for my time there,i would appreciate every one response.
Diamonds are a girls best friend
hey thanks for your reply what do think about sexy lingre for starters or a cologne.
While that may be true, let me just say, "Get Real!" Since you obviously don't want to help our newb, I suppose I'll take the reins. I typically don't "gift" on a first visit with a provider for a variety of reasons. Once you've gotten to know the provider, this becomes a lot easier. If you feel compelled to "gift" on your initial visit, stay away from clothes, lingerie etc. as you'd likely be guessing at sizes and style preferences. Also, avoid chocolates and sweets. Many providers do like these, but there are a lot who would just as soon not receive a gift like this if they're trying to eat healthy and keep the pounds off. I also avoid flowers, b/c they're bulky, rather obvious, and again some providers don't want them b/c of allergies or other reasons. So what does that leave you as choices? Well, some providers post a "wish list" on their website, so you could check that option. Personally, I don't really like to see those as I think they're tacky, but I think I'm in the minority on this matter. But, I digress. Gift cards/certificates allow the provider to get what they want, so that seems to be a popular route. Most providers will love a nice lotion/bath oil combo from a store like Victoria's Secret. Since the newb didn't mention a price range, these are the only suggestions that I feel compelled to offer.
I just finished an overnite date with a lady who I just met for the first time. When I picked her up at the airport, I gave her a Victoria Secret's bag (which they will give to you when you buy something from them) which contained a VS gift card and a little stuff doggy holding a heart that said "Hug me". I would have brought flowers but not feasible since she is traveling. She told me that she loved getting lotions and scents at VS. I've never had a lady who hated getting a VS gift card LOL.
They don't have to be expensive, and show that you have paid particular attention when choosing to see her.
I love giving Victoria's Secret lingerie, as it as to the anticipation of the visit. However, if you don't her exact size, this t tricky.
While every lady dreams of a man who will give her diamonds or a new car, but my advice is to keep it simple. Most ladies who have a wishlist, have at least 1 under $20 idea. Giving her this shows that you a least took the time to read her full site.
Also get clues from her posts on message boards. If she invites girlfriends to join her at Starbucks, a giftcard at Starbucks, so she can pick up a round would be appreciated.
Believe me, I have had both great times, and great relationships with the ladies with whom I've used these tactics.
Even if you don't know what gift to give, I've found that placing your donation in a blank card with a sweet picture and a personal message, has worked great! You may call me corny, I am and a lifelong sentimental, in my experience, it does get her attention.
I have an aversion for giving a gift because it is often use as a subtle bribe for better service. I consider an appropriate monetary gratuity after the service is provided, a return visit, and a good recommendation to other hobbyist as the proper gifts for this hobby. It keeps everything in it proper perspective. It can and has be argue that a gift demonstrate you are more thoughtful and personable and diminish the objectification of the ladies. If so, I will counter that this is shallow measure because what is primary important in this respect should be ones overall behavior, and not the giving of gifts. As the Trojans learn from the Greeks in Virgil's Aeneid, the intent of the bearer of gifts may be much different than that perceived by the recipient.
~I agree w/ JackFlash, I don't expect gifts from new clients. (*However I am occasionally surprised when a new client takes the time to recognize some of my likes and dislikes*) ... as one recently told me, when I asked how he knew & commented that was my favorite... "I can read a web site" was his reply.
Most providers do have a varied list w/price ranges totally up and down the scale.
If you are seeking a GFE and want a 'special' date your role of thumb is anything that you have taken the time to consider and have done some research on in regards to my likes and dislikes.
I can also suggest (*just speaking for myself*)that you save yourself the aggravation as well as your money if you do not give it any thought and just throw something together ..... it leaves a worse impression that not bringing anything at all.
Please also remember that the woman you are spending an hour or two with is also a real person. (*T-shirts & mugs with inappropriate wording can not be enjoyed in our 'real' life... so you would be better off not wasting your time*)
It was a thoughtful post and reminds providers that many hobbyists really are nice guys.
~kisses ... Tori
Good question. Before starting the hobby I think I would often "overgift" ladies which would make them uncomfortable and create an uneven relatioship. It would have kind of the opposite effective what I wanted. Then I got to where I felt it was somehow bribing someone which was a screwed up head to have and I wouldn't bring gifts at all.
In the time I tried match.com, etc I tried bringing a CD the first time. After a while I wanted to bring Prozac, Lithium, Clozapine or compoze for them and Aspirin for me on the first date
In the hobby if I am seeing someone new and it is an outcall to my house I have a couple dozen roses in a vase and some nice chocolate available. If it is an incall the first time I don't take anything except the filled out envelope. This is very hard for me because I really want to try to control things so the provider will like me (carry over from civilian days). Once I have seen someone then I have a sense of what they are like, their situation and the like. One lady moved since I first saw her so I brought her a small housewarming gift but talked with her about it first. I also brought her flowers one time, but with permission for fear it would out her to her neighbors. One time a few years ago in the civilian world I gave my SO a home made gift card for an hour of DATY (from me). That was very well received and was requested again over the years.
I really liked the idea above about putting a sweet note in the enevelope. Thanks for the idea. I will use it.
Bottom line is that it is ok not to bring something the first time and overall may be the wisest choice.
B
...I am not disappointed in the least, BUT I do like receiving flowers, chocolates &/or a gift card to someplace like Starbucks, Target, Home Depot, Victoria's Secret, etc.
Either she will accept it, and get the hint or I'm out the door!
Recently arrived at a first encounter with a gift card from a well known outlet (VS) that was listed on the providers "wish list". A modest amount, but something to let her know that I had read about her and was interested in potentially establishing LTR.
The resuting kisses and subsequent time spent together demonstrated her sincere appreciation. Not something that needs to happen every time (granted), but gift cards allow the lady to get something she wants/needs and in my experience are greatly appreciated.