[MODERATOR NOTE:  Johnny, the provider name and link has been removed, in case you hear from her.  See my response post for how to proceed.]

I'm a newbie, and my first foray into the hobby was not a good one. XX XXXXXX, the provider I selected after much research, was a no show.

I had e-mailed XX XXXXXX the previous weekend to schedule an appointment for February 25 (this past Saturday) at 7PM. She confirmed via e-mail on Monday the 20th, stating to give her a call at least an hour in advance of the appointment on the 25th & let her know the place and to consider it a date.

In reliance of her confirmation, I reserved a hotel room the next day (and not a cheap one either, at $125 a night). I e-mailed her the hotel information, asking for a further confirmation, as well as a phone message stating same, leaving my cell number (as this was going to be my first time with a provider, so I wanted to make sure all was OK). I never heard back from her.

As I was a bit worried at this point, I spoke with an experienced hobbyist who said not to stress about it, as this is how a lot of the girls operate (not returning e-mail, calls, etc.), but that they end up showing up at the appointed date & time.

So Saturday, upon checking in at the hotel a little after 3PM I called up XX XXXXXX to give her my room number & again asked that she call me back to confirm (as she had stated in her only communication with me that she considered it a "date"). I never received a call back, nor did she ever show up at 7PM.

I was going to wait until 8PM, but at 7:50, I said to myself I'm not even going to waste 10 more minutes on her, and left the room. Never a phone call or message to say she couldn't make it or was running late. NOTHING!! And as I stated before, what really added insult to injury was the big hotel bill and nothing to show for it. THANK YOU XX XXXXXX!!

And what's really ironic is that in her ad she even states:

"If we've scheduled an appt. & something comes up, PLEASE CALL & LET ME KNOW."

SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO DO WHAT SHE ASKS OF OTHERS!!

Did I do something wrong here? When she never replied to my subsequent requests for appointment confirmation after her initial e-mail, should I have assumed she wasn't going to show up?

I was really looking forward to it, and now I'm a bit wary of being burned again.

Below is the url to her latest Redbook ad.



-- Modified on 2/27/2006 10:37:29 PM

This is not an uncommon occurance, especially with new providers (it looks like she's only been in the biz for a couple of months).

Personally, I never book a hotel room unless I have same-day confirmation of the appointment, unless it is with someone I have seen before.  And I always have a backup plan, in case of some emergency that prevents the original appointment from being kept (hey, shit does happen).  One way or another, my hotel expenditure will not be for naught.

If she has not responded to your subsequent inquires since last Saturday, give her another couple of days (in case she DID have an emergency, and has been unable to respond to date).  After a week, post your "no-show" report on the appropriate regional dscussion board, but keep it factual.

-- Modified on 2/27/2006 10:40:23 PM

the cost of the hotel room from her fee. If she refuses, I'd (agree with Atl Mgr), rip her, But factually on the board. I also agree, I'd NEVER book a hotel room with the sole purpose of seeing a provider, without a solid committment, or having seen her previously.

As the Mod say's - it happens... The one thing you learned is not to book the room without a return call confirmation - that goes both ways...

Providers expect you to call them an hour before - your providing the room, make it known you will not book a room without confirmation.

Select a well received and reviewed provider who does outcall. I don't think lighting will strike twice - but it does sometimes.

You will find many guys say they have been through the same thing. But I think it is unfair to type most providers as unreliable - at least those who are well reviewed here at TER - I can't and won't speak of providers who are not listed here...

Take this as a lesson and don't bring it to your next meeting...

Another good piece of advice from the Moderator is to give a provider the benefit of doubt as there could be a good explanation for why she never returned your calls.. If you rush to judgment and later find she had a good excuse it is unlikely she will ever see you..

Good Luck - Keep up your spirits - and enjoy...

...but I understand your frustration, as this was your first time.

The ladies you hope to visit do lead real lives.  It is not always possible for them to contact you to cancel an appointment.

As others have said, at this early stage of the hobby, don't spend any money until the appointment is set in stone.  Better yet, try a reputable agency or indie who provides incall (this way you won't be out the hotel bill).

Give the lady another chance, on more than one occaision, my no, or late shows, have had a legitimate excuse, and have been genuinely apologetic.  I don't know if this is the case of yours, but suspect not given your side of the story.  Still, give her a chance to make the situation good.

I know that as a newbie, seeing a lady with a strong TER reputation can be difficult.  But trust me, the way you have handled yourself in this speakes to your credit.  The respected ladies are just as interested in exposing poor providers as the men are.  It does them, and their business no good to have flakes and frauds associated with them.

Yes, as a newbie, dealing with a more respected provider may require you to reveal more personal information than you would like, but I have yet to be burned by this (in fact, most of the complaints I've seen of this problem, have of resulted from experiences with non-well reviewed ladies).

Hope this helps,

jazz32


-- Modified on 2/28/2006 12:46:09 PM

Reserve the room with a credit card.  Ask the lady to confirm the appointment 3-5 hours in advance if you haven't seen her before.  If she doesn't confirm, cancel the room.  Better yet, as ATL-Mgr says, have a back-up plan ready (another lady's phone #--or more than one back-up if you want).  At 3 hrs. until kickoff, you have time to make other arrangements.

Meanwhile, move on.

A similar complaint was expressed on the local board recently. It was addressing the question of the possibility of posting a review. I believe in an active adult community the suggestion of posting your experience with her name might invoke a story and apology.

I can't apologize or speak for all providers but I can assure you that there are professional and reliable providers out there. I am in hopes that your next experience will have a better out come.... kisses ~Tori

that worries me too.  I would NOT give her a second chance if she didn't try to contact you and left you with a  $125 hotel bill.  I have been telling the girls that I will need to call the day of the appointment at such and such a time (5 hours before) to confirm.  I have been telling them I'm leaving now to go to the hotel.  I cancel the hotel reservation if no contact was made and leave a message telling them why (they failed to answer the phone, or failed to reply to your call). Having a backup is a good idea if you need to keep the reservation.  Even though it is a bit more scarey, maybe try an incall of a well reviewed lady.  That eliminates the no show possiblity.  Get a hotel close by to the incall. I like the outcalls, but always a much higher chance of a no show.  The only place I had problems was las vegas.  The girls are pricey and hard to get to show.

I would NOT give her a second chance if she doesn't take the initiative and contact you within a few days after the no-call, no-show with a reasonable explanation.  That's what I would do if a gentlemen treated me in this way.

Most well-reviewed, professional providers are reliable so go ahead and try it again!  Good luck.

If your new how did you get a reference?

My first experience was also a no show.  Fortunately, I was traveling on business and the room was already covered.  I did give her another chance on another trip to her city, and because of her issues on missing me the first time, she did offer an extended session at a reduced rate....

But I'd learned my the first time, and had several numbers for other ladies, just in case....

And she blew me off again, and I called someone else, and had a great time....

Another newbie lesson is to take condoms with you just in case....

You'd expect that no condoms would generally be an outcall problem, but I saw a lady at her incall, and she didn't have any on the day of my visit....

She made a comment about not having any, but I said that I did and problem averted!

Good luck....

RocketMan36

I almost never do outcall. So if I get stood up or cancelled on at the last minute I can rebound with another Provider. I find that having a good relationship with a reputable agency is good. A  last minute phone call to see who is available on short notice has saved the day a couple of times for me. Happy hunting.