I'm a mix white/black male, i look black although.
Some escorts refuse service after agreeing. Anyone gave this problem before?
It is a huge topic on another board
I see black, white, asian, hispanic, if you are nice and screenable, i have no issue at all. But I have been surprised the number of posts on the 'other board' by men who have either had the door slammed in their face or a provider pretend she has no clue why he is there
I dont agree with judging people by race, but if her choice is to not see black men its really unfair not to have that cleary on her website
I can give you some other info if you want to PM me
Yes, you are correct that some providers have preferences over the types of gentleman they will see. Some ladies will absolutely refuse to see African American gentleman or Asian men. Some African American providers (although it’s less common) may refuse to see white gentleman. I do not view these ladies as racists, however. I have had several sessions with sweet wonderful ladies who have told me that they just are not sexually attracted to African American men. Instead of seeing them, taking their money and just trying to go through the motions of the session, they prefer not to see them all. They recognognize they would not be able to give 100% during the session which would not be fair to the hobbyist. I had another provider who told me she was monetarily cheated by a Middle Eastern hobbyist. Now, rightly or wrongly, (I think wrongly) she refuses to see any Middle Eastern men in the future. It's their choice and should be respected. Not every provider is as open minded about seeing anyone.
Remember, its not just race. Some providers will not see heavy men, men under 30, men who smoke, men with abnormally large dicks, men who can’t afford $1000 for the hour, men who wont see them after 9PM, men who wont provide two references or give out work employment informaiton, men who refuse to shower at the start of a session, men who try and negotiate rates on the phone, men who do not have an upscale incall location, etc.
Each provider has to do what they feel is best for themselves. Their number one concern is their own safety and security and to that end they make their own rules which they feel are necessary. We may not like how a provider chooses to run her business, but we must respect her choices.
I am not going to pretend to know how you feel because I have never been refused service on the account of my race. I am sure it is upsetting if the lady strictly refuses to see you because you are African American. There is not much you can do, however, other than respect her preference. Ultimately, there are so many wonderful providers, you will surely find one who will be delighted to see you.
-- Modified on 1/23/2008 7:18:47 AM
Some providers will specify their preferences on their websites, but others will not out of fear of being labeled a racist.
Most providers do not have such preferences, so finding a suitable provider should not be too difficult.
I could not have said it any better, and thank you Hardy for understanding the term "preferences" when it comes to providers making choices that they feel either comfortable, safe, able to give 100% or whatever the reason.
Hell I could say that I get discriminated against because I am very safe. Anyhow, the point was I am glad you decided not to call women who don't see men of color(any color)racist but refer to it as "her preference".
BTW I won't see accented Middle Eastern men...very bad experience and might I say the culture(the way they view females) with these men(right off the boat) is still very apparent(not Americanized at all). I just prefer to cut my losses and err on the side of caution. OTOH, two of my best clients are African American and Middle Eastern by heritage(been here all his life and is a perfect gentleman).
I'm very lucky in that the guys I see are great in so many ways. Only twice have I ever had a time where I thought I would have to "do something".
I agree totally Famke
I wont see men who are recent immigrants from India and the middle east. Its not about race, its about culture and how they treat women in their own countries.
I see black men gladly. I would most likely not see a black man who was a recent immigrant from Ghana or Nigeria, etc
I relate but to north americans, but am also more comfortable with europeans, latin americans, and asians who may be fairly new here.
For me its all about being able to provide a session that is worthy and I dont think i have the comfort level to provide one to men from those certain cultures
Second or third generation guys it really isnt an issue
I agree we all have preferences. I do not have a preference on the physical characteristics of a man that I will see. As long as you are not purple I am fine. I will not see men who do not want to be screened or are vulgar or rude however. I am a classy down to earth lady and like men who understand this. But keep looking. I have seen several AA gentlemen ( I am AA myself so its not a big deal to me), and we have a great time. They always come on time and even are some of my best tippers. But to each his own, you will find someone who you are compatible with and watch out for the fireworks!! lol
Give me a break.
With all due respect, Hardy...you can't possibly be equating a lady's "preference" against black person or some other race with a guy that 1) doesn't take a shower 2) doesn't have the donation amount or 3) is heavy. Those are just careful use of words....or shall I say a "pretext" to dance around the obvious truth behind not preferring a certain race. If a government agency happens to not want to serve a particular race, out of preference, as you say...uh...that would raise all sorts of discrimination issues. Or how about not serving a particular race at a restaurant or saving a certain section of the bus for a particular race out of "preference." If a lady doesn't want to see someone of a particular race...fine...but let's call a spade a spade and not play semantics with carefully chosen words---putting a sugarcoated happy face cover on what is obviously discrimination based on race. An Irish dude tried to steal my Mercedes....now, because of that experience should I start projecting all Irsih guys as a certain way....it's the same pretext that has been used against minorities for centuries...uh, I had a bad experience with one member....or it's just my "preference."
Your analogies are not truly applicable.
A government agency is funded by the entire population and its very mission is to serve all people.
A restaurant owner and a bus driver are not accepting their client's money for unsupervised time that may result in very intimate contact. Their personal comfort and safety are not at stake.
On an extremely minor scale, I have been on the wrong side of a provider's personal preferences. Although it was not stated in her profile, nor on her agency's website, she apparently prefers to not see anyone over the age of 39. When I initially met her, her attitude was fine. When she verified my ID and saw my birth date, she closed up. A little late to find out then.
The session was unsatisfying and I certainly felt I didn't get the best of her service or even my money's worth. I couldn't really blame her. But I do blame her agency for not alerting me ahead of time so I could make an informed decision.
Going back to your post, if you chose to never park your Mercedes where an Irishman may serve as a valet, that is your right. You will limit the places you can park, but no one should make you park your beloved car where you wouldn't feel safe doing so, whether justified or not.
Of course, it's not "exactly the same"....they weren't meant to be.... They were only used to highlight the fact that such an action in other contexts have been examples of "racial discrimination." I"m surprised I even have to explain this to you. Not serving someone at a restaurant because of his race is racial discrimination. Not allowing someone on a certain part of the bus due to his color is discriminating based on race. Excluding an entire base of clientelle solely on race is discrimination based on race.... whatever the justification behind it is...it is still discrimination based on race in all of the above situations. The bus driver or company, the restuarant waitress or the restaurant can all claim the same thing about "personal comfort" and "safety" too, but in the end it is still discrimination based on race, any way you slice it. By its nature, a lady excluding someone solely on the race is discriminating based on race. I already said that she can do whatever she wants...but let's tell the truth here....that is by its nature discriminating based on race. She is only looking to the color of the guys skin as her criteria and basing those on whatever stereotypes she has formed on that particular race. So, you were completley missing the point on the analogies.
I also would like you to clarify this statement: "Their personal comfort and safety are not at stake." What's the hidden implication here? Is there anything particularly more dangerous about one race?....please explain that to me.
And you're missing the point on the Irishman.... it's not about where I park (you're changing the topic there)...its about projecting a stereotype on an entire group because of one experience with a member of that group. I only use the Irish as an example...of course I don't fear Irishmen....part of my family is Irish. We can play games here with the analogies....but are you going to tell me that:
1) a lady shutting out an entire race is not in some way discrimination based on race???
2) projecting a stereotype on a group because of one's few experiences with members of that group is not racial prejudice???
-- Modified on 1/26/2008 4:33:46 PM
If a povider does not want to have sex with a certain race move on to the next one. This is hardly a politically correct hobby although a lot of people act very self rightious. the semantics of "You shall not discriminate based on race or you are a racist" screw that. People have a right to choose who they are intimate with If a hobbiest only sees white woman is he a racist. This is far more intimate and personal than serving someone at a restuarant. maybe the high end white providers, have high end clients that are racists and wont see them if they see black guys. There are a lot of reasons why they dont but them saying I dont want to is fine with me.
There are plenty of great providers that will see all races, check reviews and do research I wish you all the best. Do tell them you are black because if they dont know and you show up I doubt you will get your moneys worth if they ussuly dont see black guys
It's really that type of attitude that really allows this type of thing to continue. I realize a lot of these feelings are hidden....as a lot people here would not express this if they weren't anonymous. Who cares? Ok, you're right who cares about racial discrimination. It's no big deal. A provider can be well within her right to discriminate based on race in who she sees...but I'm well within my right to think less of her because of it. A minority can walk through life being shut out and denied opportunities all the time--most of the time not even realizing it because a huge sector of the society keeps these feelings hidden, all the while plublicly pretending they do not discrimiante by race. A girl can see who ever she wants....I was just responding to the members here that were sugarcoating this as "preferences" and other pretexts. Let's tell the truth...its racial discrimination.
"maybe the high end white providers, have high end clients that are racists and wont see them if they see black guys."
So, she should perpetuate racial prejudice to cater to some clients who are raacist? Wow.
By the way, I don't have to be a minority to be disappointed by the sentiment expressed here. Do I know what it's like being a black man? No.... but, seeing some of the "who cares" or happy face "preferences" attitude, I can only imagine how hurtful it must be at times when facing such situations. Just because I don't perseonally face this doesn't mean I respect this type of attitude. I love how a lot of members try to justify discrimination on race by giving examples of racial prejudices on the other side. Yeah, alright...like that makes it all better. You're right it's not a politically correct hobby and obviously a lot of members still carry these hidden attitudes. I originally responded to this thread because a lot of people were trying to make it all sound so innocent ..."preferences"...totally sugarcoating the very obvious. But, whatever. So what if someone is discriminated solely on race. Like you said..."who cares."
The point about preference vs. racism has been very well represented by Hardy and the ladies, though it still leaves you, I imagine, feeling like your are on the outside looking in, when it comes to being with the provider you wish to be with. And, I can imagine how painful, embarassing, humiliating it might be for you to show up and have the provider refuse to see you. Probably the only way to avoid such a situation is to be very upfront regarding your race when giving them your personal screening info.
I hope you find allot of quality ladies to be with.
That totally sucks. You must not live in LA though. You'd be more likely to be turned down here for being white 
Girls love that out here.
I truly hate providers that don't specify these things up front though and then cancel or give a poor performance (race, weight, etc..) why not disclose these dislikes up front?
I hate racism with a vigorous passion though; ufnortunately people have the right to choose what race they have sex with. Sadly. Me, my only problem with races is I havent slept with a lady from each one yet....
-M
I am not bashing you in any way, but I just wanted to get clarification. You said "ufnortunately people have the right to choose what race they have sex with" and I was wondering if that meant it would be fortunate if people didn't have the choice?
b-
You guys have discussed your views pretty well. I disagree that personal views such as weight, manners or style can be equated to racism. Although, the views are personal, racism by no means are a judgment of a persons character that is where the difference lies.
I have a question about parts of Nevada where prostitution is legal. Would the civil rights act apply? I'm guessing yes, since it is enacted under interstate commerce provisions but it would be a pain in litigation.
It's a shame we have to discuss this in such a usually open minded topic.
I agree with all who have said that preference is not racism. If a woman of any race is simply not attracted to another race then they should not be labled racist if they dont want to get together. First of all it wouldn't end up being a good experiance and second of all every one should have the freedom to choose. I am really tired of the word racism and racist anyway. Are Black people racist because they are voting for Barack Obama in droves. It sure as hell would be labled as racist if White people voted for a candidate on the basis of him being white..