Hi guys.  I have seen 4 providers so far.  I have had a bad experience and basically knew it would be bad from the start.  What do you guys do in that situation?

1. Say something like, "Sorry this isn't gonna work for me" and then leave taking your money with you?
2. Go through with it and hope for the best?
3. Pay the girl a fraction of the money for her time and say you have to go but sorry for wasting her time?

I am not really sure what to do in this sort of situation.  The last experience I had was really unprofessional and the place was a dump but I stayed anyhow.  I wish I hadn't.  I wish I could have gotten a better experience and provided that money to a more friendly and clean provider.

btw, I am going to review the provider soon.

If you have a strong suspicion it's not going to go well, it is far better to end a date within the first few minutes rather than waiting until it's half over or completely over and being disappointed/pissed off you wasted your time and money.

Some ladies (myself included) have "what if we're not compatible" disclaimers on their sites concerning what the protocol is in that situation. If not: if she's just not your cup of tea physically or in another manner of personal taste, BUT what you could see of her in her photos and ads was accurate, it is polite to give her at least part of the donation for the time she spent getting to you (and if she got a hotel room or had other travel costs, it would be polite to cover those).

However, if she's nothing like her photos -- including being another lady entirely -- or she's drunk/acting psychotic/is otherwise unprofessional, excuse yourself and leave as quickly as possible. Do not reward that behavior even the slightest financially.

Of course, if you're being physically threatened by her or another person, just GTFO of there -- no amount of money is worth your safety. In the handful of occasions I've chosen to leave at the beginning of a date, even though they weren't specifically dangerous, money was the last thing on my mind.

If there's something amiss on the part of the provider - she's unkempt, incall location is dirty, not the girl in the pics, etc. - just leave.  If things seem kosher but you just don't feel any chemistry you should at least offer partial payment for her trouble and expense of screening, preparing for, and arriving at the appointment.

About three years ago I had an incall set up in Boston- I was a total newbie and still am...got to the room, the girl was hot but not the one in the pic, also had her "sister" there laying on the second bed and wasnt about to leave the room it seems...I put the envelope on the table, she took it, they both went to the bathroom, came out and started the upselling BS...like we need a $1000.00 more! I said I didnt have it and then she tried to ge tme to pay to have her sister join in..I respectfully declined and then she told me to get comfortable, but the other girl was not leaving...it was a total buzz kill...arguing over the donation...I just said I was leaving..she said well there is no refund and I basicly said I didnt give a FK about the $$ and got out of there...and stayed away from the hobby until recently...live and learn I guess.

With this business, you have to be willing to take some losses and accept it.  The drama is not worth it to me.

> but the other girl was not leaving...it was a total buzz kill

This line does not compute.

I understand, though, that you mean the donation arguing was a problem. If hobbyists stick to ladies with multiple good reviews here on TER (can we say that often enough?), this sort of problem shouldn't happen. (Yes, I did learn my lesson on that score the hard way. Doesn't mean everyone else has to.)

Of course, the chemistry can always be bad, but again if you've actually read a provider's reviews you ought to have some idea going in whether you're compatible.

It's interesting that more providers than hobbyists have weighed in so far with responses to the OP. They don't get to read reviews on us (well, not in the same way), so I'm sure they have many more GTFO of there moments than we do (or than we should).

Wait, you ladies don't have some secret "Hobbyist Review" board do you?

but the other girl was not leaving...it was a total buzz kill

This line does not compute.


Let me explain...she was just going to sit there and watch us I guess...for me it was just wierd and uncomfortable...she wasnt friendly and smiling...they were both kinda cold and bitchy...I'm a little self conscious with my imperfect body, so having a hot chick who is a bitch watching me was yes a buzz kill-

As a permanent newbie, I have tried to visit only well reviewed providers to avoid these types of things.

I only had one occasion when the girl wasn't the one in the photo. But honestly the review here said that was the case, and I called anyway. The picture in the ad was a 10, the woman that answered the door was a 7, I was there, I was horny, I went through with it, and it was a decent time, she really should just use her own photo.

Should I have walked out? I guess I could justify it.

All I'd say is to help us all out here just please post a review and detail your reasons for being off put enough to leave or feel like leaving, so we can make an informed decision.

I am glad you two are at least saying to leave.  I think in my particular situation I would have been fine to just leave since the place was a mess.  The girl was as advertised in her ad, but I would say her pics made her look a lot more mature than she was.  She was actually much younger and the place smelled like chinese takeout (sitting on table) and cigarettes (ashtray overflowing on table).  Not to mention it was just cluttered and a mess overall.  She had a friend there who stayed in the bathroom whilst I was there.

The whole situation was odd and uncomfortable from the beginning.  I will certainly not let that happen again.  I plan to be much more discerning about the circumstances in the future.

I've read a lot of reviews where guys say, "well I am here already, might as well..."  I don't feel that really sets a good precedence and I would really like to read more reviews from guys who said, "This that and the other... it was a shit-hole and I gtfo."

Thanks for the help and I am interested in hearing more from others about this too.

yes, ExhibGuy I too think that is quite interesting.  Thanks for your opinion on the subject too.  I am interested in what all the other hobbyists have to say.

BTW, mopeydick, by your response I assume you say to just gtfo.  Perhaps in your situation (being so new to the hobby at the time) there was no better way to handle it.

For me, I have made a solemn vow to myself that if the girl is not as advertised in her ad I will leave immediately, but not really sure how acceptable that is in the industry.  I mean she (or her agent) lied [false advertised] and I won't pay for that.

Also, from what the providers above wrote, I assume that it is fairly acceptable to leave if the environment is a disgust or things are just awkward, but I am still unsure on this.  I feel like once you are in the room, you owe them money.  And when they do the behind the door trick, you don't know if they match the ad until you are in.

Well I did mention it in my previous response, but it is not really this particular situation I am interested in so much as in general how others feel about it.

Here is what I wrote for the record:

I've only ended a session early a few rare times.  

Twice when I arrived to the hotel room and the women that answered was clearly not the woman in the advertisement and I knew right away I was not interested I simply said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I think there's been a mistake.  I'm sorry to have disturbed you," and walked away.  On both occasions the provider simply said not to worry about it and shut the door.  Although I have heard stories of profanity laden responses to this exit, but it worked for me.

One time, I was in a session with a provider I had seen a few times before.  Only this time she was very cold to me and even a little mean.  10 minutes into the session I asked if there was something wrong.  She said she knew about the negative review I had written.  Which, in truth, I had not written any review and I tried to convince her of this.  But she was convinced I had trashed her on TER.  

She kept saying: "Let's just get the session over with and agree not to see each other again..."  

Well, I had no interest in being with someone who apparently despised me.  I said that perhaps it was best that I leave and respectfully requested my donation back since I had only been there about 10 minutes.  I planned to leave her something as a sign of respect for her time, but she ended up throwing about one third of my donation back at me.  I protested a little, but figured it best I not get involved in a powerplay and left.  

I'm sorry she mistook me for someone else, since I genuinely did enjoy my early sessions with her.  

bummer...

Thanks for this, that is really helpful advise.  I will use that for sure in the necessary situation.