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Newbie - FAQ

Re: The Last Word
xc222ea 47 Reviews 1041 reads
posted

It's a little hard for someone who wasn't following the thread to figure out what was going on because the offending messages have been removed.

In any event, it's a shame you were treated harshly. There is a tradition on the TER discussion boards of being a little prickly, but it's supposed to be suspended on the Newbie board, which is supposed to be gentler and more supportive. Obviously this didn't happen in this case. As you probably know, on-line discussion boards are hard to police and favor bombastic posters.

I encourage you not to give up on TER as a resource even if your appetite for posting questions is soured. TER is unique in its ability to enable you to "hobby" in a relatively safe, secure, and reliable manner. Indeed, I wish you wouldn't give up on the Newbie Board. I post here a lot and I know many hobbyists have been helped with their question. I think now we'll be on the lookout for the jerks who violated the rules and nip their activities in the bud more quickly.


reefinder2339 reads

Below is a expanded private message I sent to SC. She urged me to post it and after receiving an email from the moderator, I am doing so.

*****

SC, I sent you the private thank you note prior to reading the newest responses to my original post. I have no idea how or why I am believed to be this Jon54 guy. I just joined this fricking site about two days ago!  

Not that it is anyone's business but I had to relocate from Florida to assist my family because of Hurricane Ike. We lost everything except the structure itself because of flooding. Think about it. Pictures, family treasures, mom's recipies, tools, funiture, everything!

In addition, I lost my dad six months prior to the storm. Now, I am helping my brother rebuild the house, fight with insurance companies while taking care of my mom who now has been diagnoised with cancer which leaves me very little time to garner a real or traditional relationship. Hence, the reason I joined.

I was hoping to become a part of this site and community albeit with reservations because I thought a provider might be the answer for my outlet and limited time.

But now, with the welcoming I have recieved, if everytime I post, I am going to be referred to this other person, perhaps I should not post at all anymore.

I do not intend to give you a sob story but it is what it is.
*****

It is amazing to me how people can be condensending, belligerent, authoritive and rightous without any definitive knowledge of the actual situation. I have too much going on in my life to waste my time with petty people such as yourself.

This will be my last reference on this matter.    

Signed,
Reefinder, NOT john54 or a virgin by any means.

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xc222ea1042 reads

It's a little hard for someone who wasn't following the thread to figure out what was going on because the offending messages have been removed.

In any event, it's a shame you were treated harshly. There is a tradition on the TER discussion boards of being a little prickly, but it's supposed to be suspended on the Newbie board, which is supposed to be gentler and more supportive. Obviously this didn't happen in this case. As you probably know, on-line discussion boards are hard to police and favor bombastic posters.

I encourage you not to give up on TER as a resource even if your appetite for posting questions is soured. TER is unique in its ability to enable you to "hobby" in a relatively safe, secure, and reliable manner. Indeed, I wish you wouldn't give up on the Newbie Board. I post here a lot and I know many hobbyists have been helped with their question. I think now we'll be on the lookout for the jerks who violated the rules and nip their activities in the bud more quickly.


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mrfisher1635 reads

This board is way too important to ever take seriously.

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CindyGold1460 reads

I personally would like to extend a genuine and heart-felt appology.  I was very over tired yesterday. I meant to come across as silly and teasing... I'm really sorry that what I (and others) typed was misunderstood and percieved as hurtful.  Sometimes back stories and dry sarcasm do not translate well into the typed word!  I will try to be more mindful of that in the future. I hope that you continue to become a part of this community and look forward to seeing posts from you in the future!  Good luck dealing with all the burdens that the storm has caused for your family and sorry for your loss...

Take care of yourself-

Cindy

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mattradd1018 reads

I hope you don't give up. I was flamed a few times, when I first started, for asking what were perceived stupid questions. But, I didn't give up, and have learned a lot since then. I don't remember your post, and I apologize if I did say anything critical. Sometimes I cross over from the P&R board and forget my place. Sorry to hear of all the tragedy in your life. Hope some comfort and solace comes your way soon, even in the form of one of the great ladies you can find here.

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little phil1074 reads

It got kinda ugly, pretty fast.  He got caught up in some inside jokes that he had no knowledge of, and a bit of it splattered on him.  In fact, it brought back memories of my early days on TER, when the dummy that I was, I went straight to my regional board, bypassing the (normally) tame Newbie board.  Long story short, I got bitch-slapped.  That was 5 years ago, so I've fully recovered :)

I hope that we don't lose the OP.  This board is supposed to be safe territory, and he took it pretty tough.  That's not normal, but only sticking around will prove that.  I try to swing by here periodically to pay back for what I've gotten from TER.

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keystonekid1031 reads

that I get peeved at is the newbie who doesn't take a little time to explore on his/her own.  Yes, there are some frequent questions that come up every week or so.  These can be researched very easily using the TER search feature (upper right) of this board.

Welcome and happy hobbying.

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CindyGold768 reads

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Zangari1032 reads

Reefinder, I'm the guy that suspected you were Jon54, sorry about that.  I'll try to help you now, although you may not want my advice:

1) Get screened: I recommend P411 as a screening service.  I posted their web site below.  They'll verify your identity & employment, but don't worry--Gina of P411 is a lot smarter than your boss.

2) Get fit: if you're not working out every day, start doing it.  Every guy has a workout routine, just do it. You'll look & feel better and have more confidence in yourself.  

3) Get dressed: jeans & tennis shoes are fine for hanging out with your buds, but dress well for your provider.  

4) Get booked: use only the providers listed by your screening service & check their reviews on TER. Be business-like in setting up your appt, be respectful & kind when you finally meet your provider.  

I hope that helps.  --z  

Related Link: http://www.preferred411.com/

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shudaknownbetter1738 reads

rf,
I'm sorry someone jumped to a conclusion about your idenity.  You are welcome here.  Do read the Newbie manual (on the top of this board).  It's loaded with great advise.  You'l want to read back several pages on this board & a couple on the others, just to get up to speed.
Note there are regional (local) boards to the left of your screen.  Providers can place ads once a week there.  
Once you get the lay of the land, as it were, you'll want to get VIP so you can read complete reviews.  You'll need to learn to watch for locations, area codes & such.  Best to search with only 1 criterion at a time.  You need to be able to read the details of reviews, even though each experience is unique, they give a good idea what to expect.   You want to see several reviews but reviewers who have done several (to weed out fraud reviews)...  as much as TER tries to avoid them, the first review is questioned until another coule confirm she's legit.
The biggest risk is not LE but the risk of getting scammed in some manner.  I've not been disappointed since I began using TER reviews.  
Happy hobbying,
skb

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