You are already following excellent etiquette by giving pause to considering whether posting the convo is a good idea, and by considering that protecting her ID is a given either way! So, bravo! 
As a provider, I def recommend against posting the conversation publicly but if you are looking for advice, I wonder if the provider you chose has a website? If so, does it have an Etiquette section? Some do and some don't, and that may not even be a thing you thought of to look for... after all, we were all new at this once ourselves. Even if that particular provider doesn't, many do and perusing them can give you a good idea of what general acceptances are.
As a general rule, most providers are super uncomfortable answering explicit questions or comments, especially from new clients, bc it could potentially put us at legal risk if we do. We are also not likely to engage in a lot of conversation about the appointment before we can screen for safety and commit to a date. It's ok if you're learning this stuff, and it's quite possible you did none of it in this exchange.
Hope this advice was helpful and also hope you have a warm welcome to our world when you do make arrangements with a provider. Keep an eye out in your area, many providers like myself offer newbie packages to help you guys learn the ropes.
Best of luck!
Fondly,
Charlotte
XO
Don't post the email as it not only would be bad etiquette, it is also against TER rules. You are just jumping the gun here a bit. Too much to learn first and I assuming you need to get verified so the girls can see you.
Read back this board about 2-3 months to get a feel for things and read the TER Instruction manual a few times, as it is pinned as the first post on this board.
When you have done all that, get back to us with any questions you have. We will gladly help you out.
making a request to a provider for an encounter, be specific as to date, time and location. Most providers will list on their website the preferred method of contact.
For example, an email request might look like this: "Hello Betty, My name is John Doe and I am a new hobbyist looking to meet you on Wednesday, Aug. 9 at noon for a 1-hr. incall appointment. I am also a member of P411 and will contact you through that site so you can see my profile."
but include an essential details.
Like others have said, you might have breached the boundary about mentioning sexual activity in exchange for money, which is probably why most correspondence goes astray.
Thanks for the replies everyone.
FYI, I have been reading through the newbie manual. I am also awaiting verification with P411 and obviously have an account here. I am hoping that will be sufficient for some providers that are willing to see newbies like myself. I am looking for something a little high-end (so to speak), but nothing crazy. It looked like the provider I emailed might have fit that bill, but then again, I don't know what the hell I'm doing yet.
This was the gist of my email exchange:
Me: "I saw your ad on Cityvibe. Do you have a TER or P411 id that you would be willing to provide? My apologies if that is a rude question; I am very new at this."
Her: Replies with what I assume is her standard auto-reply; lists ALL services she provides along with hourly rates, screening process, and deposit requirements (deposit seemed to be iTunes gift cards emailed to her with claim codes which sounds sketchy to me right off the bat, but what the hell do I know about any of this shit)
Me: That sounds great. Do you have TER or P411 ID(S)?
Her: "Don't waste my time"
Me: "Again, my apologies if that question is bad etiquette; I really am new at this and I am simply trying to look out for myself (just like you). Sorry to have wasted your time."
Her: I'm very discreet and don't do reviews, if you think I'm fake than don't reply.
Me: I don't think you're fake, I'm just being cautious. Are you going to be in the XXXXX area the weekend of 08/18? I would just be looking for a late night drink to start but I would be happy to compensate at your hourly rate.
Her: "You are wasting your time like seriously NO DEPOSIT NO MEETING"
Me: You want me to send you a deposit when you haven't even told me if you are available or even in the area? Sorry again for wasting your time.
Her: "You are an idiot. Availability is determined by a booking. That's why u so stupid bye"
Aside from her sounding like a bratty 15-year old, I am pretty sure I did not breach any etiquette here, but again, any and all feedback is welcome. I honestly just want to have a drink with someone to start. I don't think I have the balls to walk blindly into a hotel room as my first encounter with a provider.
There are a lot of mongers who say they have never and will never send a deposit. Even the ones who are willing to do a deposit would be damn fools to do so with a provider who has zero verification, reputation, etc. and won't even confirm what city she will be in or when, or whether she has availability. Usually it's considered booked and confirmed and you send the deposit to hold it. "Send me a deposit and THEN we can talk about availability and scheduling" ??? Horse shit!!!! Even for a provider dealing with a newbie.
IMO, you should consider her a bullet dodged. Forget her. Start over. Things will be easier when your p411 is complete. Follow the advice you've gotten here, read this board and the self help manual as you said you already are, and continue to trust those instincts. You'd be surprised how many guys have a woman say send me money, so they just do.
Cityvibe ads are no better than BP ads. You would be better off looking at ads on TER and P411, especially since you can search P411 ads for "newbie friendly" providers who can screen you without references.
Dude, you just got unlucky and picked a rude, unprofessional provider.
And no, there is absolutely nothing with asking if they have a TER number.
Stay positive and keep on trying. The first one is the hardest mainly because
you have no references and most providers are leary of clients with no references.
but that doesn't mean we should sugarcoat our advice and so far the advice you have received has SUCKED.
You did NOTHING wrong here, what you did was dodge a bullet. Your instincts were spot on, She was a ROB (rip off bitch) almost certainly and you did well to stand up to her ridiculous demands. This is what this board is for, whenever you feel something is even a bit sketchy, simply make a post here morning, noon, or night and I am sure that at least "somebody" will be here to help you out.
Lastly, almost all encounters do start by you blindly walking into a hotel room, but it's not really that blind when you have done your research on the girl first. That doesn't mean you have to hop right into the sack the moment you walk in the door, if you do have some nerves, I would suggest you book 90 minutes or so to give you plenty of time to "loosen up" before "getting to it" without worrying about running out of time.
Like the others have said, move on the to the next one. You don't want to deal with her at all, especially if the tone of the "relationship" has already turned that way.
There are plenty of WAY more professional ladies who would be happy to share those handles with you if you asked. You didn't break any etiquette protocols from what I see.
I would recommend contacting ladies from within either P411 or here. That way you know they're verified real, or at least "safe", and you already have your first question answered. You'll be able to have read up on them before you even contact them. Then when making first contact, you're not feeling her out, you're actually contacting to book an appointment.
Also, take the advice given earlier with the example of a good first contact email. When you're a new client for someone (not just a newbie to the hobby) they are trying to determine if you will be a safe client. Be polite, courteous, and professional. That'll go a long way. Don'y be crass, lewd, or explicit. Save that for the date.
