I'm a relative newbie having only partaken in the hobby twice.  Here is been my experience thus far.  I acknowledge in advance that I wrote this with some irreverence so please don’t take it too literally.

Before you start, you do plenty of research on sites like this to discover the dos and don’ts of the hobby.  You’re ready to take the leap.

First you have to find the right girl.  You start by searching the internet, then invest in a couple of memberships to sites like this, find physical matches who have plenty of good reviews and repeat customers, search the message boards to see if there is any additional information, cross reference the girl on multiple boards, maybe search by phone number to see if she uses multiple names, etc.  

After you have spent hours identifying candidates, then comes the scheduling of the appointment.  You try emailing, phoning, leaving messages, filling out forms on websites (requiring all manner of personal information).  You’ll be polite, respectful, and courteous.  Some will require references that you don’t have.  However, only a small portion of ladies will ever return any of the above communication (which you'll find stunning given all the positive reviews).   For the ones that do, you'll find that some are already booked, out of town, etc.

If at this point any girls are still left from the initial list (if not, start over at step 1), you might actually have an appointment.  The day before the appointment she might call and confirm.  She might also ask if it is ok to change the time.  She might call back the next morning to see if it is ok to change the time again.  She might call back 15 minutes before the appointment to say she will be 30 minutes late.  She might not show or even call.

Let's say she actually shows.  She might be older than you thought.  She might not look like her pictures.  She might be really sorry but she'll only be able to spend one hour with you instead of the scheduled two.  Maybe the sex will be great - maybe not.

You'll look back on this experience and think about the hours of research, the money you spent, the challenges in scheduling an appointment, and wonder if it was worth it.  You might also wonder how all of the reviews on these sites are so positive and yet your experience was so different.  Are your expectations unreasonable?  Do other guys just consider the investment the cost of doing business (or maybe even enjoy the challenge of the hunt)?

When I first thought about entering the hobby, I was excited thinking how much fun it was going to be.  Somehow the process sucks all the fun out of it for me.  I’ve actually tried this on five different occasions but was only successful in seeing someone twice.  I found the process long and frustrating (probably why I have only done it twice).  My recommendation is that if you are just looking to experiment on a crazy weekend in Vegas, I would suggest just hooking up with a normal lady - it will require a lot less effort.

Yes, all of those things can happen but the more you do this the faster you recognize the signs of impending trouble.  You can always just find a good agency and take your pick from their roster. I wouldn't call it "enjoying the hunt" but I do take spending my money seriously and I do everything I can to assure myself of having an enjoyable time with a good lady. There are plenty of good providers out there who show up on time, return calls and emails and offer incredible service. If you are having bad experiences you may want to re-evaluate your selection criteria.

who are say 45+ don't have much hope in the cicvi scene of scoring.  Regardless of age, if you have a SO it is very difficult to find time to search for a one night stand.  Affairs take way to much time and are filled with drama.

I appreciate your writing this, I don't think you are being irreverent at all, but it should not be this difficult.

One thing you do not mention is whether you have read up on the proper techniques with which to contact a provider.

Since you state that many of them have not gotten back in touch with you, it may not be too presumptuous on my part to ask whether you said anything to them that would turn them off, especially discussing specific sexual activies and/or payment?

If so, this explains why the only ones who have gotten back in touch with you were the type who change and/or break appointments, etc.

Another thing you don't mention is whether you are over thirty and have a regular job.  Many of the better provider won't see men under thirty for various reasons that are beyond the scope of this present discussion.

If these are not the reasons for your bad luck so far, then all I can suggest is that you continue to plug away.

I believe the average success rate is much higher than the 40% you have reported.

I do understand your frustration.  Although I am new to TER I am not new to the scene.

I just had a same day cancelation of an appointment that I worked on for nearly 2 weeks setting up.  Although I had 3 other choices of other providers who had favorably responded to my booking inquiries none could be scheduled in time to fit my carefully designed window.  Needless to say I was very unhappy.

With that said, there is something very satisfying about this process.  The fact that is takes effort and diligence makes a successful encounter ever more rewarding.

With advanced tools like TER VIP, reviews, PM's we really have it made.  Imagine trying to do this 10 years ago before the Internet.  It would be a great deal more difficult and dangerous.

I have to agree with Mr. Fisher, here.  From this provider's standpoint, we want to work.  So we want to call you back, show up to the appointment and stay as long as you like.  But we also want to be safe.  We have to rely heavily on our sense of a person which is why it's so important you are polite, discreet and respectful when talking to a provider you'd like to meet.  She's much more likely to get back with you if you do.

I am quite new to hobbying also, and sorry to hear you haven't been as successful as you would like, but I think mrfisher's points are very valid. I'm over 30, self-employed, and have had very little difficulty in having women return my calls, and have been very pleased with my efforts. Of course, part of your problem might have to do with where you are  looking (what city) and for what (what types of services and what type of woman). Good luck if you continue your search.

Thanks for the feedback and suggestions everyone.

To answer your question about me, I'm 37 and have a fairly high level position at a large IT company.

I am very respectful and discrete when I call.  I might say something like "Hi, this is xxx.  I'll be in city XXX Dec 5-8 and was wondering if you would like to get together.  I'll be staying at XXX hotel and am thinking of date x, time y for us to get together but I am flexible if a better date/time works for you.  You can reach me at xxx.  I hope to hear from you soon"  If I send an email I might leave a little more information about myself (my job, age, height, weight, race, where I live, etc).  I never discuss services or money or even that I am responding to an ad.

To be fair one of the three times it didn't work out I canceled.  She was the one in my original posting where I scheduled two weeks in advance, she called the day before to confirm and change the time, then called the day of (as I was waiting to board my flight) to reschedule again.  I was a little suspicious at this point so I offered her an out but she assured me she could make the new time and was looking forward to meeting me.  Then when I landed (the flight was only from San Francisco to Vegas so we are talking at most 2 hours), there was a text message where she was asking to change the schedule again and asking how long of an appt I wanted, etc.  At that point I suggested we cancel if it was ok with her and she readily agreed.  Keep in mind this was with a provider with over 80 reviews on this site with an average service rating of 8-9.

I'm really not interested in trashing anyone so I won't list the names of the people I contacted but they were all highly rated providers.  My success rate at getting just a response to an email/phone/web form was much less than 40%.

It's possible I had bad luck but if I tried again I wouldn't use any form of communication but the phone and for a given date/time I would probably contact 5-10 girls.

What's really sad is that this process is encouraging me to double book and cancel one girl at the last minute.  I've read where other people have recommended this approach (and I was probably on the receiving end of a double booking conflict in the example above) but I would feel too shitty doing this so I don't think it's an option for me.



-- Modified on 11/24/2007 10:53:53 PM

I, also, have only experienced this hobby twice. When I first started, I wrote an email to one lady telling her of my newness and my willingness to work with her on any verification she would require. I did not hear back from her. The second lady I contacted the same way and got a reply within 24 hrs. I did what she asked of me for her safety and had 2 wonderful dates with her so far.

Now, tongue in cheek, she is my ATF and I expect I will see her many more times.  When I feel it will be time to find #2 and/or #3 so I can get a break from #1 (as not to get too attached), then I will go about it the same way. Attempting to contact just one lady at a time. I couldn't even think about trying to contact 20 in hopes 10 will respond back, with 5 being available, narrowing down to 1. I find a lady I would like to be with and send an email. If she doesn't respond in a day or two then I find a new lady I want to be with.


-- Modified on 11/25/2007 12:30:32 AM

"My recommendation is that if you are just looking to experiment on a crazy weekend in Vegas ..."

If you are going to be in Nevada, why not research the ladies at the ranches? You can call the ranches to find out when the lady will be there. Some will even let you schedule a date with the lady.

I'm still relatively new to the hobby myself, but have visited anumber of providers. I have to say I really haven't had any signiifcant booking problesm with the ladies I've contacted.

On the exxperience with the providers, I've found it varies. With the actual experience you can learn alot from the reviews, but tyhis can also vary just with indivual people. One hobbyiest may be blown away by something a provider does, and another  just doesn't care for it.  This is like meeting anyone in hobby or out of hobby.

I've had several bad experiences in the hobby, but almost all were my fault. Primarily, it was my failure to do my research regarding reviews. I saw  a few non-reviewed ladies when I started out  and I wasted a lot of money.  I think we all go through some frustrations in the  hobby(I know providers get frustrated, too.) and as you get more experience in the hobby, things will probably go better.

Runningman

This is my first venture into the hobby. I'm experiencing the same frustrations. I've done my research and have only tried to contact providers with good reviews. So far, no luck in getting a response. Should I just take my chances with a service and hope they send someone I'll like?

ridgeplay

once you have found a good one.

then you can ask her to recommend someone else.

you have suffered through the worst part. it will only get easier as you get more experience and more contacts under your belt. ahem.

Thanks for the post.  Sorry you've had trouble, but hobbying successfully does require careful planning and coordination in order to be satisfying.  You will be underwhelemed at times no matter what, but if you select your prospective providers well, and communicate with them properly (give them the info they need for verification, not asking inappropriate questions, come across as someone they would like to meet), you will eventually meet ladies that will overwhelm, and these are the ones worth seeing again, and why some of us enjoy the hobby as much as we do.  Good luck to you, and don't give up...

. . . and this one is no different, if it is to become a rewarding experience.  Think about it, coin collecting, auto or sailboat racing, hunting, golf; you name it.  Pretty much every hobby requires practice time, continuous research and a serious expenditure of money, in order to reward us to the fullest.  I was a brand new newbie a year ago, started with a monthly VIP membership to TER (which soon became quarterly), had my share of no responses, no call/no shows, etc.  But when I add it all up, I have met a number of outstanding, interesting, intelligent, and, of course, very sexy women, none of whom I had a chance of bedding outside this truly amazing and rewarding hobby.

Thanks everyone for your feedback.

To answer some of the questions posted, I am 35 years old and an account executive for a large company.  I am very respectful and discrete when contacting a provider.  If I call, it normally goes something like “Hi, this is xxx.  I’ll be in city xxx on Dec 5-8 and was wondering if you would like to get together.  I will be staying at hotel xxx and was thinking we could get together date x, time y but I am flexible if a different date or time works better for you.  You can contact me at xxx.  I hope to hear from you soon.”  In an email I might provide a little more information like my job, age, height, weight, etc.  I never reference sex, money, or even their ad or website.

I’ve only tried contacting providers in San Francisco and Las Vegas.  I can’t say I have a specific type but I’ve only contacted ladies under 30 and are skinny to average build.  Otherwise I’ve contacted different races, hair color, prices, etc.  All had a number of good reviews.  I was just looking for the basic services but since I didn’t even get this far with most providers I’m not sure why it would matter.

To be completely honest, in one of the cases that didn’t work out I ended up canceling.  I scheduled two weeks in advance.  The day before she called to confirm and at this point I was feeling pretty good.  The day of she called and asked if she could change the time.  I was ok with the new time but she didn’t seem very sure so I gave her an out but she assured me she could make it and was looking forward to meeting me.   Two hours later she sends me a text message asking to change the time again and how long of an appt I wanted (items discussed and confirmed multiple times including two hours previously).  So at this point I wrote her off as a flake and suggested we cancel.  I’m not looking to trash anyone so I won’t mention the name of the provider but she has over 80 reviews on this site with an average service rating of 8 (with lots of 9's).

I'm glad I wrote this.  I'm visiting Vegas in a couple of weeks and was thinking of trying again but after remembering all of this I've convinced myself not to.  I'll just hit the bars/clubs or maybe a strip club or two (none of which requires any research or scheduling).

The research can be fun ... if it is just idle browsing.  But when it comes down to action it sounds like you are trying to find the "PERFECT" provider and spending WAY TOO much time researching.

Forget finding the perfect provider!!

I find it much simpler to narrow search to well reviewed providers in an area with ONLY a couple of traits (via TER search) depending on my mood.  

Then reach out expressing your interest until you get a response.  Being SPECIFIC as to DATE &and& TIME is very helpful.

Planning too far in advance does not seem to be very helpful.  

And remember ... the best Chocolate is what you have now, not what you think might be perfect.

Au contraire, WB. I found that doing the research accomplished several things.
It gave me an awareness of who was available and who came close to matching my tastes and desires, and it entertained and aroused me, as I got closer to my action dates, the times when I would make contact and then actually visit the lady.

So far, I contacted four providers. All four got back to me in a reasonable time frame. I have seen two, with outstanding results. The other two agreed to see me as soon as schdule and finances will allow, and we stay in touch from time to time via email.

You may not like advance planning, but many of us lead our lives that way and appreciate knowing, and anticipating, what will happen in two weeks or two months.

By the way, my reviews of the providers I've seen were 9 and 10. That's hard to beat. I attribute it to advance planning and research using TER reviews and the providers' web pages.

Perhaps the major difference in our experience is that of being a homeboy versus an out of towner. The providers that I seek are the GFE type, who are looking for a limited dance card, which seem to require frequent and ongoing dates. I imagine providers with such specifications feel like a guy based in her city fits her needs better than someone coming from out of town for a convention. I only bring this up as a sort of disclaimer for any advice I gave previously, or at least so that you can put it in context. Good luck on your next trip which ever way you choose to find some honey.

The agencies I use all let you book with whomever you want. They don't choose the lady, you do. I would avoid any agency that forces you to accept "pot luck"

Thanks for your post mrfisher. I'm a newbie too and my experiences have been similar. I was stood up for my first appointment. Have had three e-mails unanswered and two phone calls not returned. I'm really not sure what information I should be giving the provider when I leave an initial voice message or in an e-mail. There is only so much you can say without being sexually explicit. In my voice messages and e-mails I usually just leave my name, number and tell them I would like to see about setting an appointment.

Las Vegas isn't the friendliest place to play as a newbie.  The providers are often jaded by the routine of: guy gets to LV, drinks too much, loses a lot in the casino or gets nervous, and then no-shows her.  Lets face it, casinos are masters of marketing, and have figured ways to keep you occupied.

That doesn't even touch on the problem with the agencies there.

I'm also looking to get into the hobby, and have been trying for that first encounter for a couple of months now.

After doing a lot of research, I found someone whom I thought would be a great fit. After exchanging several emails and phone calls everything was all set. Then the night before I received a call on my cellphone and my wife picked up. The lady asked for me and my wife said I wasn't there at the moment so they hung up. I kind of wondered if maybe that was her but the number came up as private. So the next morning, as I was on my way to her city (45 mins away) I made the final phone call for her address. She then told me it was her that called the night before and she had to cancel. But, she would give me 25 bucks off of my next appointment. I was pretty angry because it took a lot of time and planning to set everything up, so $25 dollars doesn't really cover the disappointment. And yes, she is one of those 9 and 10 rated girls.

So moving on, I have tried to set something up with my 2nd thru 6th choice of ladies, everyone local to my area. I have followed all of the guidelines. Only about half replied at all, and of those, each was more than a week after my initial email. Any of you guys out there who are married knows how hard it can be to account for 2 hours out of a day when you won't be available by phone, so I can totally understand where fatbody is coming from and why he is frustrated. I'm frustrated as well.