Hello everyone, i'm from southern california.  Here's the problem: Perhaps it's normal, but i've emailed 10 providers that looked good to me, everyone has responded the first time asking if I have references. I have none. I explain that i've been self employed for 14 years and am a total newbie, I get no response after that. I've even offered to pay the going rate *just* for dinner, no winks, no hints, no bullshit. I get dead air after that.  

I paid for p411 verification and that's in progress, I guess...haven't heard anything back (even then the ones i'm interested in want the p411 AND references)  I know i'm not a good risk, I avoid any incriminating language besides "meeting up" "spending time" etc.

  I need help guys! What can I possibly do? I'm seriously getting depressed. I'm thinking of just going to a legal brothel and dropping 3k or trying the SB/SD world instead.  Who knew not having a dead end job was a deal breaker? Maybe I should shit can the small business and get a job at Mickey D's so I can spend some time with sexy women!

Seriously looking for advice, thanks for reading this

1. wait for p411 to go through. it will help you.

2. don't hesitate to find yourself a sugar baby

3. linkedin profiles can be used for screening.

there is a way to search for women who are newbie friendly.

Newbie friendly women have different way to verify that you are you and not LE (law enforcement)

Follow their rules and your in like Flynn.

At the end of the date as them if it is okay that you give out their email for a reference. Also, ask them if it okay that you review the time you spent together. If you can do both, great because that helps get started.

Once you have two or three references like that then you can start to contact the women that require references.

In your first contact with them, be very specific on when and where you want to meet and for how long.
Get yourself a protonmail email account - encrypted.
Make your online presence as anonymous as you can.

Your first contact should also be personal. Tell them what attracts you to them - their beauty and their interests - read their web site fully.  
Be respectful. They are about to share the best thing in life with you - and its' not free (beatles song

Also, tell them something about yourself. I am also a small business owner so I tell them what I do.
I give them a brief physical description because sometimes you might have to meet in a lobby or something.

Also, don't get depressed. I am starting to realize that these women get hundreds of emails so sometimes you won't get a response at all. Gmail especially buries multiple emails. If I send two or three emails before a date, I can tell the first one got buried in the thread and they may not have seen it.

Finally, I am still a newbie but...  

One thing I knew the very first time is that up until the last second and even after entering that door (or after she enters your door), or even 5, 10, 15, or whatever minutes into it....the date could be over just like that or never even happen at all.
You can be 59 minutes in and be asked to leave. I don't know if that has ever happened but anything is possible.

As far as missed appointments, people have lives. I travel around town on appointments every day irl and there a million reasons why appointments can fail.

Remember then that you are not owed anything. Not even a call. Sometimes shit happens.

[I cancelled last minute on an incall that I was going to last week because I got spooked for no other reason than intuition (I think I only gave about 6 hours notice that I couldn't make the appointment). I reached out later via email (previous contact was all through text), to apologize again. I never heard back - I am owed nothing. I am sure that IF there was nothing wrong with the date I am on her DNS list.]

This is not like other businesses. The customer isn't always right (that's not even true irl anyway). You are owed nothing.
Be prepared to bail if the situation looks wrong and be prepared to be stood up.

Wait for p411 to approve you.  Once that happens, there are many escorts who advertise "newbie friendly" on P411. Choose a newbie friendly provider and contact her through P411.  You may have to give up some additional info to her, but that's the price you pay for being a newbie. Once you see her, ask her for an "ok". Once you get a few "ok's" you'll be on your way.  

I would not use LinkedIn as a reference. And if your interested in the "sugar world" check out the Erotic Highway board at the bottom of the General Boards drop down.  

Remember, everyone was a newbie, just be patient and you should be fine. And being in So. CA. The opportunities are almost  endless.

Agree with Triage, p411 will help big time. Also in your reach-out emails attach 1-2 REAL GOOD photos of yourself and write a nice brief bio and inject some humor. My current main fav girl told me that she loves it when guys send pics and most don`t. Says it makes it so much easier to want to meet. Try reaching out to a couple of  older Newbie friendly MILFs just to get your sea legs under you. Then have them white list you on TER and ok you on p411. Don`t give up! It`s hard in the begining but worth it later.
Compliment her website and tell her you loved her profile and reviews ( as she`s just what you`re looking for)
I`ve been in your shoes, you`ll be fine.

Even if a hostess would like me to send pics, I do not ... ever.  My email to her email with my digital signature? Does "Anthony Weiner" ring a bell?  

However, I have no qualms about posting my picture for all to see on the internet:

Use your local TER board.

Spend some time there posting so people get to know you, then post a notice that you are looking for newbie friendly providers.  I've seen this done on my local board, and invariably several gals will step up and offer their services.

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However, the LA board does not take kindly to ISOs from unknown TER handles with no reviews. Specifically there's one individual Captain Renault, who accuses anyone posting an ISO without any reviews LE.  Unfortunate, but that's the LA board. Now if the OP just wants to make comments on LA threads, at least he'd get his name out in the public.

Coer de lion's posts on the K board about how to approach an incall

better yet read all his posts - and all GaG's posts.

... then it probably is a gosling.  

Nevertheless, thank you for the compliment, my fine feathered friend.

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...search for newbie friendly on P411. They will likely want some extra information. Don't give out any information you aren't comfortable with her having.

see
[email protected]

I think she is newbie friendly.
I emailed her a couple times and I just missed her trip to DC.

Tell her nathan sent you

No LE is going to spend time doing that.

Attending M&Gs is another way, but of course he has to pass screening for those as well.

I'll implement the advice you guys have gave me. Including reading posts from a particular user that was recommended.  
I know nobody owes me a darn thing, I kind of came off that way in my post.  The insight into what their email boxes might look like also explains and relieved some of the frustration. It's so hard to think clearly when the little head is hogging a portion of my blood supply.  

 Plan of action based on what my pea brain absorbed:  
1. be patient, wait for p411
2. search newbie friendly providers, compliment them/tell them what attracted me to them when I contact ( I figured that was sort of a no no for some reason, I figured they wanted to be all business through email and then get personal in.. person)
3. attend meet and greets if they become available in my area.
4. Ask the providers that are kind enough to give me a chance if I can use them as references.
5. Enjoy great success  

I'll reread everything after I get some rest and add to this plan of action. I'll also read posts that were suggested  I have an additional question that I may start a new thread for, or search to see if it's been asked (i'm pretty sure it has) Should I also let providers know in advance that i'm heavy set, my race, facial hair, scars, etc?  I really don't want that to be a bad surprise for them, but I don't know if it's appropriate to talk about.  Thanks again everyone, I have a good feeling today based on the kindness shown in this thread

posting on any of these sites. Don't make statements that are false or misleading.  

Not trying to cause a panic, but posting a number of times to establish some sort of legitimacy is just absolutely fucking ridiculous. Where did come up with this notion?.

but I still say that it is practical for a newbie to gain credibility by posting on the boards, and then parlaying that credibility into meeting someone who has come to know them.

Yes, maybe some LE has tried this, but I've been a faithful follower of these boards for almost 12 years, and I'm yet to hear any tale of LE doing so.

It's all percentages.

If you contact her by email, then it's easy to provide personal info. I think that they do appreciate it ... so they don't have to ask! If they have an age policy (most do, whether mentioned explicitly or not), include some relevant info: "I am a gentleman in my #0's, around 5'X" tall and # pounds." Other factors you mention are innocent to bring up and could be important for her to know about.  

Many do not discriminate in any way at all, but it does prepare them for who to see through the peep hole.  

Some have preferences and your info will give them a chance to express same, almost always politely: "Is your facial soft or scratchy? I prefer soft to scratchy. Do you mind trimming before you arrive?"  

And best-worst of all, if your personal info is some of her do-not-see or turns-me-off list, you want to give her a chance to tell you in advance, BEFORE you spend time and money to surprise her and end up with a lousy session. "I love men from slim to portly, but I am uncomfortable with obese. I don't want to disappoint you, so I hope you don't mind if we don't get together."  Then you can try, "But my BMI is only 30, a bit overweight, but not obese!" or "I promise I'll lose 10 pounds before our meeting."  

So ... include personal info in general terms to give her an idea of what to expect and the opportunity to ask for more details or reply accordingly.

Thank you Nathan. That's really nice of you to offer that. If I can't find anyone local willing to roll the dice with me
, I might be forced to take the 2 hour drive and see if she'll take me on as a customer.

But regardless of whether she is or isn't, she still is going to need to screen you.  I know Blair.  Not only did I write her first review, but was her very first client.  She is a very sweet, easy going and a pleasure to spend time with.

Hey babe im in oc area and im kinda getting the same response.. Ive tried chiming in here and there and nothing.. Oh well im verified everywherelse but here...

are you a provider or a hobbyist?

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What don't you understand about the name Kate ?

I will agree that it's good for a newbie to establish a bit of credibility by actually joining in conversations instead of only making ISO posts, but until someone can vouch for a poster by actually "meeting" them, that person will still be suspect even with a thousand board posts.

Reviews are the usual metric that both the guys and the girls are measured by, but I of course am the exception that proves the rule as I don't have a single review to my credit but still have managed to establish credibility, but that credibility came from meeting people in person, both hookers and other johns alike, even meeting you I might add, and not just from running my big mouth here on the boards.

Is your response ratio improving?  Might need to get a larger sample size then 10?

For newbies I suggest trying out ASP that belong to an agency. The agency handles the verification aspect, booking, security while leaving the business end to the provider if you know what I mean. This takes the burden of meeting newbies off the ASP.  

As for attaching photos to your emails, I thought it was a great idea. If the girls put up their picture for us to see then I don't see why we can't do them a favor and not surprise them when you do actually meet. Blur out your face like some providers do if it really bothers you.

I mean think about it. If you are a noobie, you WILL go through a screening process. Guess what that entails? A reputable and consistent online presence. They want to make sure you are who you say you are. If they can't verify you within a couple clicks, boom you're out, they move on to the next client. Nothing personal, just the nature of the business.

What do you all think of sending a pic of a business card to a provider? Too scary?

I would give my card to basically anybody, in the non-hobby world, and some providers that I've built trust with.

 but I understand men not wanting the providers to know their real names also.

To be frank just wait for P411.  One caveat is that in the beginning one or two people may want some real information.  That is okay if the provider is a well reviewed and experienced provider who is not likely to risk their career by messing up your name for you.

Yes you can do that as Mr Fisher said and mention you need a newbie friendly provider. State in the thread that you are P411 verified. It will help much. They will at least know you have some backing with P411.  

When they pm you, give them your P411 acct info.

Plenty of gals are newbie friendly.