I'm a little embarrassed to ask this. I'm not entirely a newb to hobbying, but most of the time I've hosted.

But I'm looking at a few providers I'm dying to see, and they pretty much stick to incalls, which I've only done once.

So, if you're asked to freshen up at an incall, are you expected to wash up? shower? when you exit the bathroom are you expected come out with the clothes off?

If you area ask to freshen up, then a shower is probably in order. If she is asking you "would you like to freshen up?", the choice would be yours. Come out dressed however you feel comfortable. Most of the clients who shower at my incall come out wrapped in the towel.

There are two reasons we offer this. First, we like knowing that the smelly parts are freshly washed. Second, while you are freshening up, we are checking the envelope discreetly.

If you just showered before you arrived, its fine to say so. Even if you don't need to run through the shower though, please do go ahead and excuse yourself to wash your hands. You've touched alot of surfaces between your shower and your arrival.

That is exactly what I do, mostly to be fresh but also to give the provider a chance to count the donation and it also tends to set a slower pace for the session.  

I enter the in-call, if I haven't showered in more than an hour I take a shower and enter the room in a towel.  If I've showered in less than an hour I wash my hands, rinse the junk with soap and water (be sure to use plenty of water to get the soapy smell and taste off), wash my face, and enter the room "less dressed".  By that I mean, I usually arrive from work in a suit and tie...I remove my tie, watch, glasses, socks, and belt...and I put my wallet, watch, and glasses in a suit jacket (the wallet always falls out when the pants come off).  While I like to be undressed by my date those items are often a pain in the ass to remove and putting those items in my suit jacket prevent me from leaving them behind, lets face it, when the session is over the last thing I'm thinking about is making sure my glasses are with me.

One more thing...I like doing outcalls with a dinner to start, even if I shower just before dinner I go through the same process when we get to the room.  In those circumstances by the time we get back to the room it will have been at least 90-120 minutes since I showered.