Newbie - FAQ

Re: Real name? Real phone?
fishtampa 735 reads
posted

Yes, everything is still anonymous.  Hobby phone, hobby email, made up work stuff, etc.   I did search her on here as well and nothing came up.  As I stated in an earlier update, she told me she webcams and I checked it out.  At this point, I think she is a psuedo (if there is such a thing) escort that has one foot in the door to try and make some extra $$ without going full blown BP ads or a website.  Just my opinion at this point.

fishtampa2252 reads

My first post so my apologies for any "newbie" mistakes although I am trying to avoid a huge one by posting.  I was recently contact by some from a SD site, of which I have a profile, and received an email saying "hi, your profile looks interesting, etc".  She provided her email ID and said contact me if you are interested.  We started emailing.  She willingly started sending pics, nude and non-nude in various settings and provided her phone number.  We have texted numerous times at all hours and have spoken on the phone.  Our emails have been about topics that were non-sexual and have been many and have been very early, mid-day, and late at night.  We did talk about a few sex things on the phone, wearing bikinis, etc.  She wasn't pushy about it.  Says she is a single mom, etc. looking for some help.  She lives in a different city but it is an easy drive.  We started talking about meeting and when I asked if she wanted me to come to her, she said she hated talking about $$ but said she would not have been on the SD site if she did not need $$.  She then offered various rates for me to come to her and her to come to me.  She never mentioned $$ until I asked about a meeting location. She seemed vary flexible to meet in either location.  Said she must use a hotel because of kids.  At this point I am saying, yep, Escort, which is not a problem and I assumed that from early on.

I am now getting cold feet about LE.  I have googled her number and first name (probably an alias) and nothing comes up.  I have also done a tineye search on pics and nothing.  I was thinking my next move is to just ask her about a website or reviews.

So, my questions are:
(1) Based on what I have stated, should I be concerned she is LE?  She has spent a lot of time communicating with me and I am thinking LE would not make that kind of time investment for one person but I am not sure.  And if she is LE, she is very good because the communication has been very comfortable, I never sensed anything weird about her questions.  I have just gotten cold feet because my internal wheels are turning and I have never done anything like this.  She seemed mostly interested if I was married and stated she preferred older married guys for maturity reasons.  Questions about my job, my hobbies, etc.  
(2) Is the right approach to ask her about a website or reviews?
(3) Just forget it totally and move on?

Also, she is hot but the pics are "real life" kinda stuff and seen consistent if that makes sense.  I don't have a feeling that they were pulled from anywhere and sent to me to throw me off.  I was thinking about asking her to take a specific pose and send it?

Thanks in advance for your input.

I would think it fairly unlikely that she is LE in this case.  LE likes to use motels with doors opening to the outside so they can watch the guys.  Also, they will more than likely use an ad site like backpage rather than get a profile buried on a SD site.  I would caution you in your conversations, it's never a good idea to talk sex on the phone, ever.  If she asks you to get the room, that's a good sign, as LE would have a room all set up.

If she's on a SD site, she probably does not have a website, esp if she is hurting for $.  If she has reviews, she will have to have an ad somewhere on an ad site, or a website.  So you can kill both birds with one question asking about reviews.

SD sites are always a crapshoot.  I have looked at several and actually found some local escorts with profiles on them.

Bottom line is, go with your gut.  If you don't feel comfortable enough to go thru with it, then don't.  There are more than enough verified escorts around.

Swim

Based on what you are saying, it is not LE... it is either a single mom who thinks you are nice, or more likely it is a scam artist.  A good scam artist will always spend some time with you building up confidence, so that you end up feeling like you can trust them.  Then they hit you with it... they start with asking for a few dollars to help them out, next they will tell you a story about how they have some kind of family emergency or something, and they really need money again, then they are being evicted and their kid is going to be thrown out, they need money again, then their dad is in the hospital, etc.  Whatever the story of the day is, it ends with them needing money for something.  These scammers will play several people at once.  Maybe I am being pessimistic, but to me, it seems as if you are dealing with one, because a legitimate lady on a singles dating site should not be looking for money, she should be looking for a relationship.  The "singles dating" sites are full of scammers by the way.  If you are looking to play, just see well reviewed escorts or something.  If you are looking for a relationship, avoid women who want your money.  That is my advice.

You're new, so maybe you're caught up in all the pre date stuff . Bottom line to answer your questions

1. Probably not LE.
2. Ask her if she's ever heard of TER if she says yes, ask her if she has reviews.  
3. Yes just move on. Here's why,  you really want your first experience to be great.  See a provider who is well reviewed on TER and enjoy.  There's always time later for you to fuck around with SD sites.

You might try shopping on your regional TER ad board. Also if you haven't already lurk on the regional board as well. It's not uncommon for a hobbyists to be attracted to a providers posts. You should get VIP if you don't have it already, that enables you to PM provider and read the entire review.

She sounds real to me.

She sounds like she is very new to this or maybe she is just doing what she needs to to get you hooked.

She hasn't discussed money - yes money is not something that we like to discuss. But you dont want to go to the hotel and be suprised at the amount she is expecting.  She must have at the very least a ball park figure she is thinking of  - ask her that and go from there.

She isn't LE - they dont waste that much time planning.

The pics might be real but how old are they? are they current? Before kids? etc?  

If you are both nervous about it, schedule something like a lunch meeting.  Offer to drive closer to her area and take her to lunch.  If that goes well, you and her can set up something that you both are happy with.

fishtampa945 reads

Thanks Swim & hidden, all good advice and I know I should have refrained from any sex discussion on the phone.  I had already convinced myself she was safe because she came from a SD site so that is why I did it but dumb move anyway.  I do believe I am overthinking it.  We talked on the phone once for about 40 mins, none of it sexual, all life stuff.  I really don't think LE would take the time.  She did tell me we could meet for lunch and if we were both ok, then find a hotel of my choosing since I was paying.  So given your comment Swim, that seems an OK sign.

Based on your input, I am going to ask her if she has heard about TER, any reviews, etc.

Thx again.

fishtampa442 reads

So through a series of emails about general stuff I asked for more pics.  I got an email back that said "These are some pics I took for my webcam profile".  I checked it and yep, it was there.  She does webcams.

So, looks like I am good to go unless I am missing something.  Anything else I need to check at this point?

Thanks.

can someone tell me what an SD site is? is that a single dating site?

shudaknownbetter865 reads

to market themselves.  
In my opinion SD situations seldom work out...  but those that do start with a provider & evolve.

In my opinion, it is always best to "pay as you go".   You don't have much at risk, if you don't "prepay".
skb

I don't know how those SD sites work. My questions are "newbie":

Are you still anonymous in your profile or does she now know your real name, work, etc.?  If you are NOT anonymous any more, I'd proceed with mucho caution.

Have you searched her phone number on TER? (You said that you did Google her number.)

Have you searched her email address on TER? ... google?

Good luck.  Let us know what happens.

fishtampa736 reads

Yes, everything is still anonymous.  Hobby phone, hobby email, made up work stuff, etc.   I did search her on here as well and nothing came up.  As I stated in an earlier update, she told me she webcams and I checked it out.  At this point, I think she is a psuedo (if there is such a thing) escort that has one foot in the door to try and make some extra $$ without going full blown BP ads or a website.  Just my opinion at this point.

Clrw_guy06683 reads

The very premise of a SD/SB relationship is that you give her money, and she gives you what you want, sex included, maybe.  I've been on a SD site, and I've also been offered a financial deal of being a partner in a restaurant, so anything goes.  Since its money for sex, its prostitution, even though the purveyors  of such sites have argued that it is not.  There is even a site called "What's your price", where you bid for a date with a target group of young college girls.  In my eyes, you are seeing a unreviewed escort and paying for sex.  I've read a little of the blogs on one site, and the women on the sites get very upset when referred to as a prostitute.  These sites are gaining in popularity and are an avenue for good looking young women to make money with their bodies, and yet stay off backpage.  If the girl is legit, you can probably spend more time with her for a lot less than a escort.  Would be interesting to hear from the ladies on this site on how they view this competition, if it can be considered as such.

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