I would still describe myself as a newbie.  I have met once with a provider (see my reviews to see how that went).  My question is based on the difference in “behavior” described in TER’s and Trysts advice for newbies.  My experience was with an outcall.

My question is based on “who leads” in these situations?  Tryst pretty much puts it on the escort to “engage” when the time is right, being a SW “professional”.  TER puts it on the “host”.  I followed Tryst’s advice and spent three hours talking and not getting anywhere, expecting her to “engage” when the time was right.  Didn’t happen.  By TER’s advice, it’s my fault being the host (didn’t read until after the encounter, having went with Trysts advice).  As a follow up, how long should you wait before things have gone on long enough?  Are the gals more comfortable when it at their place of choice, or on an outcall?

Trying to get results I want, rather than have a repeat of the last disaster and possibly having another bad experience with another provider and not have to give a poor review.  I feel like it was both our faults the last time I tried doing this.  2 hours and 45 minutes is more than enough time for both of us to figure out that something is wrong (again, you’ll have to read my one review).  

Any comments or suggestions appreciated.

Hi friend!

I know I chatted with you a bit via DM about your last "visit" with a provider. Long story short I think the gal took you to the cleaners. I think your best bet is to find a reputable provider that will have a structured visit with you. I don't think it is really a level of comfort so much as being professional. Any gal who has been in the biz for more than a hot minute is going to have a pretty specific way they do a date and will gently guide you through it according to how much time you booked along with any special requests you may have. Sex work is a very broad umbrella and every facet of the industry is going to function different from dancers to escorts to massage to BDSM and it is a learning curve for a provider to go from one discipline to the other. One thing to always remember is seeing a provider is not like civilian dating. You are not there to find a mate. You are paying for a service and the provider should be providing you with the service. If there is ever any confusion to the arrangement I would cut your losses and move on to another provider. Best of luck!

Hey Man,

Check the subject line, above.

You are treating this like a real-world date! C'mon man, you both know why you're there and the time you have available.

It's definitely appropriate to talk for a few minutes. Check with her in advance about wine , chocolate or fruit. Be nice and keep it light. During this time, I tell the provider that I respect SWs, which is true, and appreciate that their job is difficult. Assure her that you are a good guy, as you should be, and that you will treat her well. Ask her what things she does not like, or allow. (You should know this already from her reviews in TER.) At this point, you should be sitting on the couch or bed and can begin kissing and caressing. NOTE: This phase should be no more than 15 minutes.

If, as Ms. Scarlett suggests, she's keeping you at arm's length, be honest. Ask her if there's a problem, if it's something you can quickly remedy, do so. If she's still keeping you at arm's length, ask for your money back and and suggest she  leave. If she will not return your money, definitely don't get physical. but insist she leave, or you leave as the case may be. Note: I've seen about 50 women and had to do this only once. Follow-up with an accurate TER review of what happened.

Basically, you should only see women with reviews on TER, so you know that the provider genuinely provides.

Good luck!

Overthinking is what I do best…..LOL.

Advice heard, noted and accepted.  

Moving on from that experience.  Not much room for the next time to be worse.  

Like I said, there’s a lot of details I’m not getting into……too long a story.  I get what’s been said and I’m moving forward through it.   I did think it interesting that TER and Tryst advice for newbies is a bit different though.  Tryst puts the client in a “vulnerable” position with the SW “leading”…… TER puts the lead on the host.  Also, it has been discussed about the fake reviews on TER, but yet look for well reviewed providers.  It’s still kind of a crap shoot.  Good reviews, but the reviewer(s)only has given one review…..or….guy only gives good reviews but has 70-80 of them.  Who’s the better reviewer?🤷‍♂️. Live and learn.

One review of a new provider may be a self review or boyfriend shilling. The guy with all good reviews is a better bet by far but may want to compare his reviews with others of the same provider . Often there are clients who will not write poor reviews so only the good ones show up/
I can say since finding TER have never had a bad session( have had cancellations and NCNS) but have had some that were not up to expectations.
As a newby stick to multiple reviews with reviews by guys with multi les also.

I totally agree with you that she took me for a sucker while I felt I was being respectful.  My mistake.  I don’t like being in this position either…take advantage or being taken advantage of.  When I wake up, I’d rather not be the guy that feels like he took advantage of someone.  As I have told you, my ex wife had been in the industry…….  Been churning for days now that I have to travel.   Don’t think I’ll come to a decisive conclusion soon.  Maybe I’m done.  Maybe “victim” is the only outcome of this path I put myself on.  Perhaps this isn’t “better”.  I can’t seem to put a situation in my mind where I’ll be better off for it  🤷‍♂️……