So I'm aware that the mantra is never discuss anything, and I've read the tons of posts talking about make sure the person is reviewed, etc. etc. etc. All helpful. But my question is in regards to once you are with the person and you've placed your envelope down and things are getting down to business: Are you allowed to say anything at all in terms of what you're looking for (of course, making sure that it's even cool in the first place by checking the reviews on TER), or do you just have to kind of point or pantomime or just "do it"? I'd like to follow the rules and all without looking like I'm on crack or being overly paranoid. Thanks!

if you followed our advice and did your research, she won't be.  Let her know you're new when you screen, and remind her when you walk in. When things start flowing, you should have no problem communicating.  The no discussion rule generally applies to the screening and booking part of the process.  After that, you should be able to communicate very effectively.  Just go with the flow.

Whatever you do, don't just point and gesture, she'll think you're special (in a bad way). LOL

Good luck

I've had a couple providers pretty early on that, post screening, asked me some pretty direct questions.  I was shocked at first, knowing the "no talking" rule.  As D_C says, once she knows you're OK, she'll open up.

If you've read a ladies reviews, you know what to expect.  Somebody before you didn't know how to start things either...she'll take care of you.

because a frequent lament of providers is that they are never sure if they are doing what the client really wants.

Too often new clients are too shy to speak up either because they are afraid they will commit a faux pas or they are just not sure how to express themselves.

This gal wants you to be happy so that you will repeat and tell others to see her via reviews and other means.

Once you are in the room, the business taken care of, and the clothes shed, that't the time to tell the gal how you'd like to be taken care of.

Here is where research of her reviews really pays off.

Do your homework.

then one should never be concerned about commiting a faux pas.

I always say start with a glass of wine... then everything else should come naturally, even for someone who isn't French.

A bientot,

CM

When you first meet, she is still trying to figure out if you are LE or not, especially if she is not moving the date along. In that instance, give her a kiss. After a few kisses, explore her with your hands. Take her clothes off, and move to the bed.

When you are both naked and making out in the bed, then you can start asking for special requests. Otherwise, she will know what to do. If it is a real special request (unusual fetish), then you may want to wait until the second date to ask. You don't want to spook her too early. After she knows you are a decent guy, she will me more accomdating.

If you enter the room, drop your donation on the table, and start asking for sex, then she is likely to show you the door.

Aha, I forgot to ask my other question (though your responses to my main one have been quite helpful): if a provider lists a price on their site or on the phone or whatever, is that the price you should expect for the whole session? Or is that sort of like the entry fee and you have to be armed with more when you show up? I would imagine the latter is that whole "upsell" thing but I'd like to avoid something embarassing by assuming something incorrect. I also would like to avoid being scammed on something that I would imagine is rather obvious to anyone that's done this before. Thanks again, this place is quite helpful.

The ladies I see, the donation is all inclusive. I did see a lady once (TOFTT) who offered BBBJ for an additional fee. I declined.

For the most part, a well reviewed highly regarded lady will likely post an all inclusive fee. Greek would be considered ok to charge an additional fee (additional prep time). Seeing a couple too. But, she will disclose her additional charges on her website.

Avoid ladies where the additional charges are a surprise. It definitely takes away from the GFE experience. Also, when are you suppose to "safely" discuss what additional features you want?

Massage parlors are a different story. There, it is all about upselling to the desired level of service. If you don't bargain well, it can easily cost as much to see a lady in a massage parlor as it does to see an Indy.

99% of the well reviewed gals list a price and it is THE price for the whole time.

The only exception is that some gals who allow Greek charge $/$$ extra and they usually say so.

Upselling, once a staple of escorting, is now considered pretty low brow and it's best to avoid such situations.

The only time I hear of them are with agencies, and then only when the quoted price for their time is ridiculouly low, like $/hr.

...Ah sorry about the name change there, I accidentally used my default instead of the one I like better. Oh the horror!

As I've read here, CL ads seem to be an obvious no-no. What would your impression of the relative saftey of a provider be if they had good reviews (and the reviewers had done a fair number of other reviews) but you also found an ad for them on CL? The reason I ask is I've heard recently of some CL related stings in my area and wasn't sure if the mere presence of a provider on there was enough to basically override any positive feedback they've had. Does anyone else search CL to see if their potential provider is listing on it and get cold feet if they are?

Lots of well reviewed providers occasionally post on CL. As a rule, it's best for newbies to avoid CL because they're often thinking with their small head. If she has good reviews on TER (at least 10 reviews), I'd usually see her.

-- Modified on 8/13/2008 4:47:56 PM

and you should be fine.  Some very fine TER ladies advertise on CL for a variety of reasons mainly having to do with their area.  I always tell Newbies to avoid CL because it is very difficult to wade through the chaff to find the good providers who have TER reviews.  If you just start with TER and research the reviews, it really doesn't matter where she actually advertises.  The question really, is why start at the ad site if you are going to end up at TER anyway?  Just start here.



Good luck

I would avoid a lady that only advertises on CL, even if she has reviews here. By the time she has a bunch of good reviews here, she should have learned better ways to market herself. If she hasn't, that shows a little bit about her.

If she "also" advertises on CL, then I am less concerned.

I would worry if she never advertises on CL, but then she starts. My first thought would be if she was busted, and LE using her on-line presence to bust Johns. Just my paranoia.

I'm still a newbie and initially had some concerns about this also.  I read a lot of reviews on TER before I contacted the ladies who appeared to be what I needed.

I was extremely nervous with my first provider and should probably have discussed my desires and preferences with her after I took the shower and we were both in bed.  I did not, and I think that things would have gone better if I had given her some information.

When I saw my second provider, after the shower, I told her what I really wanted to do and what I did not care to do, and the session was great. I got a lot of what I wanted instead of what she thought that I might want.