Hello all.  I have been lurking this site for a while and just recently decided to join.  I have checked out the reviews for providers in my area and I have found a girl that is PERFECT for what I want.  The only problem is, I am quite scared about this whole thing.  I have never done this before.  I am married and I don't need the drama that would be associated with me getting caught or EVEN WORSE arrested.  The provider I am thinking of only posts a phone number, and I don't want to make a call yet.  I would love be able to email or IM before hand to make myself feel better about this whole thing.  Do you all have any tips for a first timer?  I am really excited about this whole thing, but my fear is WAY bigger than my desire at this point.

I believe you can get a disposable number.  Also, most upscale providers are discreet.  We know what to do if 'wife calls because she didn't recognize the number' from the bill.  We simply tell the wife that it's a wrong number or we have no idea who your husband is.  You won't get arrested if you only see well reviewed providers.

And once you start, you're not going to stop!  From what I've heard, it's pretty addicting.

Also, I think this post should be in a newbie board.

to be nervous, apprehensive, or even scared. We were all newbies at one point. First off, does the lady that you want to see have reviews? If she does, and has been around a while, your chances of getting arrested are preety narrow. Getting caught depends entirely on how careful you are. When you are ready, just make the call. You will be nervous as hell, and your voice is prabably going to crack like a teenager in puberty, but that's okay. Explain your situation to the lady, and find out what she is going to need to verify you. If you haven't joined a verification site, you will need to jump through some hoops, but it does get easier with time.

If you haven't already, go to the newbies board, and read. (look to the left on this page) There are a lot of guys asking the same questions that you have. you're not alone.

Good luck

The newbie manual have all the tips you will new to start in this hobby with the right foot and it also has tips for clearing your computer and phone history!

Check it out and be safe!

Lauren

let me tell ya, if you haven't cleaned out the old browser on the home computer and you access TER from there.... well, you get the picture.

Best go to the newbie board, and read.... lots.

Chances are, you will not get caught, you will not be arrested, BUT you SO may find out - that has a high probability of happening....

my question to you is this.... you say you are married, but you do not comment on whether or not you are still in love with your wife... if you are, you need to answer some very serious questions about your fascination with the hobby... if not, then you need to ask some very serious questions about your marriage.....  

either way, you're going to have to have a very serious talk with yourself.

the suggestion above to get a hobby phone is great - do it.  I would also suggest that you NOT use the home or the work computer to log onto TER.... I have the luxury of having a personal laptop - and use that!  when folks ask, I say, I do my private consulting on the spare....

it works.  and it is also password protected, but then again, I'm not married....

good luck to ya.

Lurk on that for awhile. You will find newbies with the same issues.  Do a search on the board for this topic. Finally you can post a question for the Love Goddess (LG) who can answer some of your questions or fears. Good luck

It sounds like you're not ready yet and that's okay. Doing this the first time is a big step.  It should not be undertaken lightly or you could end up experiencing serious regrets.

Once you decide this is for you, find a provider who provides an email address. This is also how I prefer to make initial contact.

Learn how to clear the memory on your home computer.  Some brousers are more secure than others.  So far I like the new Interenet Explorer 8 in private mode.  I still clear it when I'm done.  Better yet is a Windows washer program for "greater security".  

Do not use a company equipment or internet access for sites you're not supposed to access. Companies have the right to moniter use of their equipment & many do these days.  A few have lost high 6 figure jobs over this.  Why risk it?  
A personal wireless devise (not company issued)  used laptop & 3G plug in is clean.

Get a separate free e-mail account...  totally different from your civie life.  Get a secure password on it.  Don't access if anyone else in in the house.  

Get a cheap prepaid phone.  Buy it for cash & register to a bogus address.  Buy refill minutes anywhere for cash.  

Do not buy gas, snacks, anything with a CC someplace you're not supposed to be.  I gas my car the day before a date.

This is the basics.
skb

Just like every Law and Order and other crime show out there, the key to your success is to pay for everything in cash.

I also highly recommend setting up a credit card with an address tied into a mail boxes etc. account that you have paid cash for and a year at a clip. This is where your bill is going to show up and of course your never going to tell anyone about it. This way you have access to significant amount of cash to pay for a 4 hour session if so desired. Then you can pay it back UTR.

I highly recommend Firefox and just set the history to clear every time you exit the program. Then you can surf from home when the SO has a head ache again.

I have used my work cell phone as my contact number that way I do not have to pay for an extra phone and all incoming/outgoing calls can be justified. I think it is easier than explaining a phone that you accidentally forgot to take out of your pocket and your SO just happens to dial the last number called and it is for the reservation room at the Tijuana Donkey show.

There was a comedian, Chris Rock I think, who has a joke about every mans porn collection and how we go about these elaborate plans to hide things and then we end up getting caught because we forget to take the damn tape out of the VCR. Sometimes you try and over think things and you end up getting screwed in unintentional ways.

The I can to TER & realized my attempts were inadequate.

I stopped using my personal cell & got a hobby phone (tracfone).  I can't leave it on, because I change out my personal phone on the way to a date... turn it off & put it away after I leave...  until next time.
If I already had 2 phones, that might be different.  Still company phones, especially smart phones...  are subject to monitering unless you own the company.  LOL!

Some time ago, I increased my "pocket money".  I don't normally make bank/ATM withdrawals for dates.  I make my regular "pocket cash" withdrawal & keep it in a safe place.  I don't normally carry the full amount, checking my carry wallet & refilling as necessary.  Gradually the cash accumulates, until there's enough.  Once I did make a withdrawal to bring the balance up to necessary.  This would not work if the wifee is used to replentishing her cash from your carry wallet/drawer wallet.

Make sure you time away from home is covered.  There was a post on this a while back.  Some only hobby on business trips.  (That's not an excuse for not doing your homework on prospective dates.  When you're ready, you'll want to step up to TER VIP.  It's far cheaper than just one date spoiled by a scam or a missed opportunity.)

I have not been doing this very long.  The Newbie manual...  plus this board...  are great resources.  DO read back several pages.  Lots of tips.
skb

Since credit cards are reflected on a credit report (you need to give a SS# to get one), if you get your credit report, the other account will appear on the report.

Try explaining that one to someone....

As you said though, cash is king!

Just use cash whenever you are somewhere you should not be.  Make sure you do not park illegally, and do not speed or break any traffic laws.   Imagine trying to explain a traffic ticket while driving on route xxx when you have no need to be on that road.  

many times a prepaid card can be used in place of a credit card...  like for TER VIP.
skb

Hobby on my friends!! XXX Belle