Newbie - FAQ

new guy question..
freestyle3007 2331 reads
posted

Sorry if this is already posted.  I've gone through about 4 or 5 pages of the FAQ for newbies and haven't seen it.  My question is this.
Usually my first time with a woman i have a hard time staying up when it comes time to do it.  It's raring to go during foreplay but when i put the condom on i shrink.  Will a provider give a hj without a condom?  or will she lay beside me while i do it?  Either is fine it's just something i dont want to discuss when i get there.  and i've read not to discuss specifics over email or phone.
Thanks for your help

This is a common issue, especially with those new to (and possibly nervous about) entering the hobby.  Most ladies are very understanding because sometimes the body just doesn't follow the directions of the owner :)

As far as I know, each lady has her own boundaries and preferences.  It may be a good idea to ask the lady in question if she will provide an uncovered hj.  

As a student in the sexological profession, I do study these concerns and work with people to overcome them.  If you have any questions about specific techniques, please email me via the form on my web site (google me)

A great resource for information is Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld's book "The New Male Sexuality" which discusses common myths and exercises for dealing with various concerns.  

Nerves and anxiety are some of the most common causes for "miscommunication between the two male heads."  Often just relaxing and removing the (mental) pressure will do the trick.  You could try consciously removing the expectation for certain activities and just enjoy what happens...

You never know...

Best,
Kassandra

Aside of the mental/emotional, often this response is caused by sheer unfamiliarity with the sensation (lessened) with a condom.  A good way to reorient the body is to masturbate with a condom on so that your body has a chance to recognize the sensation and pleasure together.

Other helpful ideas are to make sure you have a well fitted condom (not strangling tight), an ultra sensitive condom vs. something rubbery like a Trojan, maybe try non-latex options such as Lifestyle Skyns and/or the female condom.

As Kassandra mentioned, most ladies will be very understanding, and going into the session "knowing" that it won't happen yet focused on enjoying the play can do wonders!
: )

xoxo,
Sola

Aside of the mental/emotional, often this response is caused by sheer unfamiliarity with the sensation (lessened) with a condom.  A good way to reorient the body is to masturbate with a condom on so that your body has a chance to recognize the sensation and pleasure together.

Other helpful ideas are to make sure you have a well fitted condom (not strangling tight), an ultra sensitive condom vs. something rubbery like a Trojan, maybe try non-latex options such as Lifestyle Skyns and/or the female condom.

As Kassandra mentioned, most ladies will be very understanding, and going into the session "knowing" that it won't happen yet focused on enjoying the play can do wonders!
: )

xoxo,
Sola

tmtlr271638 reads

Free,

I don't want to generalize but I seek out ladies that will give BBBJ and everyone of them have and will do the uncovered HJ. Now this isn't saying that every lady will but if you find one/two ladies that interest you then read their reviews (Helps if you are VIP) and a lot of guys in the review will refer to completion by uncovered HJ.

Your problem with the little freebie getting soft once cover is applied has happended to me a few times because of over 35 years of going bareback with wives and S.O. It does take a little getting used to.

One other note I would add is you shouldn't worry about talking about this problem with your provider once you get to your location (especially if she is well reviewed) for they want to do whatever it takes to make you comfortable and happy for they would love you to return for another visit!

Good luck!...DB8

shudaknownbetter1247 reads

I've had difficulties with completion.  In my experience, the low budget rush job artists will "times up".  The pro ladies will do what ever it takes to finish what we've started.  If intercourse is out, the cover comes off & hands on...  
Be sure you have enough time...  an hour...  
skb

I was once with a provider and everything was going fine until I heard a loud noise outside of the room. My erection turned to mush. The provider was patient and everything worked out well.

I've found that sticking with one lady that you really click with can help in overcoming this issue.

Thanks for all of your help.  I've tried the SKYN condoms,, they just hurt, there is some other kind that's ultra thin.. i'm going to try those, i've never tried lambskin but i know those are off limits so really no need for me to mention those.
I do have several providers in mind, now i just gotta be able to get an appointment. Since i'm new and don't have any references.  I'm going to do more research here and on the web about which verification svc is better (datecheck or the other one.. 411?)  Also a couple are with an agency, so maybe that'll help.

Again thanks for your help.

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