Guys on here are married. Everybody has their own tricks of the trade, so-to-speak. My wife doesn't know exactly how much I make, and I have to travel and go places all the time for work, so, for me, personally, it's really easy to hide. On the relationship, I'd say no difference in my life.
The whole object of this is to have fun................... When it quits being fun (god I can't imagine that happening) that's when it's time to quit. Or if it starts interfering with your "real" life.
Good luck and enjoy................
Right here is what it's all about..........
-- Modified on 10/20/2011 10:58:37 AM
Yep. Sounds like you got it pretty good. I'm nervous every step I take and thinking it's only a matter of time before I get caught. I might have a poor prognosis for staying long term, but I've already hidden a bunch of money so I may as well use it. Cheers!
I'm married, but sounds like its a mixed bag here on TER. (married, single, divorced). It's tough not to let it affect your personal life in one way or another. You know, away from wife and kids, or sometimes I'm with my family but my mind isn't. The funny thing is that my wife and I have a great relationship and a good sex life. I would say that our sex life has gotten better since i stated in the hobby a few month ago. At home I was a little complacent but with a provider I wanted to put on a good show. So, at one point I was with my wife and i thought why am I trying so hard with a stranger but not with the women I love. Consequently, sex with my wife has reached a new high and I have the hobby to thank.
In regard to $, I own my business so I draw funds directly from it.
Sounds like a good deal. As far as I can tell, you have a life similar to mine. Do you worry about the end result of being caught? Divorce, starting new less affluent life, kids possibly hating you, friends and possibly family hating you, possible ruined career, etc.? Or am I the only doomsdayer out here?
has a lot of information on how to cover your tracks from using a hobby phone to erasing your computer history and lots more.
Getting caught by the Mrs. is probably the most common and expensive mistake made by hobbyists (I certainly have personal experience.), and with a little bit of discretion, can be avoided.
Posted By: mrfisher
has a lot of information on how to cover your tracks from using a hobby phone to erasing your computer history and lots more.
Getting caught by the Mrs. is probably the most common and expensive mistake made by hobbyists (I certainly have personal experience.), and with a little bit of discretion, can be avoided.
I can't find that link. Can you be more specific? I probably have most of it already: hobby bag, ED drugs, toys, phone, credit card. Unfortunately guilt too which is prolly affecting my performance both with the wife and providers. Thanks.
Around a year and a half for me. It has positively affected my marriage, as I no longer bother her for the sex she lost interest in many years ago (she has some understandable reasons for that, and we get along well otherwise). She remarked early on that I was being a lot more pleasant and affectionate toward her, and I think that is still the case to a degree, though the initial high wore off.
Aside from the practical stuff about the phone, email account, computer, etc. I think the key is to be open, never evasive, and hobby in such a way that it fits into your normal schedule. Always have an answer to any questions that might arise, think about what would be a reasonable explanation if someone were to see you (better yet, do not hobby where someone will see you). My wife usually knows where I go, she just does not know all the details of what I do there. And I often volunteer where I went and a sanitized version of why without being asked anything more than "how was your day?" I went downtown for lunch, took a look at some condos (not mentioning the provider in the condos). Then I might go on to talk about the condos a bit.
Let your schedule and your head drive when you hobby, as opposed to your dick.
zig
are not supposed to be; same goes for EZpass (toll payment system). I often have lunch with friends in other communities so I build in time to be away. Therefore I need a lady with an incall near where I'll be. Hobby phone (paid by cash), separate email, clean computer are all no-brainers. I also go to the gym when I get back in town to work out so there are no odors on my body.
Good thoughts. I do however have to use the tollways so I'm vulnerable that way. I also go to providers in the morning when I'm supposed to be working out. If my wife knew, she could be checking online whether I checked in at the gym. I do have a hobby credit card in my name that has my home address as my work address. I have this so I can pay for my phone, rent room, buy toys online, and pay for lubes (yes providers should bring that but I've met only one that has flavored lube with her) ED drugs and other stuff at the drug store or elsewhere. Yes these can certainly be traced back to me but it is the risk I have to take sometimes. I'm not always carrying cash on me (stopping all the time at the ATM would be worse). Just a risk I have to take.
while you go through the cash lane. Tolls would not likely be the Red Flag but would confirm a suspicion.
Yes, also married. Wife largely shut the sex off. I think it's been bad for our sexual relationship. Since I am getting some outside, I backed off pressing her... and she proceeded to restrict even more.
We each have separate bank accounts, separate income... I choose to keep a reasonable amount of pocket cash each paycheck. I accumulate excess until I have enough to play. I increased my pocket cash when I started playing... but is still reasonable. I do not withdraw for hobbying. Never spend money needed for essencials. Sometimes I have to wait to book a meeting.
Probably the hardest thing is the time. Gradually find hobbies & things that take you away from home. DO NOT use friends as a cover! NEVER!!
Separate hobby phone, separaste hobby email. Do not acess adult sites from employers comuter or internet access unless you own the company and are bullet proof!
Read back on this board... there are so many ideas to help you. (And reading is free)
only one besides me is single, rest are married. They all have their own methods of keeping the secret from the little woman.
Swim
Married here for 9 years, been hobbying for about 2 and a half years, ever since the wife put on 100 pounds, declared an end to BJs, and thought it would be okay to offer me sex 2 or 3 times a year. Hobbying allows me to (barely) tolerate her presence, so I guess that's a positive for the relationship.
As far as the money, she has no idea what I make, how much is in our accounts, how much SHOULD be in the accounts, etc. I own my own business, and keep funds in a special hobbying account I can access whenever I damn well please. But its getting away that is the heard part, because I usually have to drive 2 hours or so to get to a city that has a selection of quality providers. Its easier in the summer because she thinks I've taken up fishing and golfing, which requires trips to new lakes and links. I couldn't hit a golf ball to save my life, but I found I actually do like fishing. Spent a few hundred dollars on used equipment, and a few introductory books on these topics, and I can at least talk the talk. As a result of all this, I do a fair amount of hobbying when I attend out of town meetings. I was initially bothered by all the dishonesty involved in the preparations, but just because she has decided her body is closed for business, it doesn't mean I have to go without as well.
Finally, I use a hobby phone, and lock all my hobby related materials in a safe to which only I have the combo. Do check out the Self-Help Center- it has a lot of key info.
