therein lies the rub..LOL..
I'm pretty new to the hobby. I've seen a total of three providers for a total of five sessions (three of the sessions were with the same provider).
I definitely have a sex drive, and as my name indicates, my hand and I are very well acquainted. It's just that in two of my sessions, it has been difficult to get a hard on quickly and then I haven't been able to cum. I think one reason for this is because of nervousness, but the main reason is because I need a certain body type who will wear my requested outfit to give me a hard-on. The last provider I saw was a great gal, but the outfit did not look great on her, and she really did not have the body type I wanted. The provider I've seen three times has exactly the body type that turns me on and looks awesome in my requested outfit.
Anyway, on to my main point. I wish my sex drive wasn't so damn particular. I get the impression that most dudes in general, and especially my fellow hobbyists, just need to see a hot chick naked in order to get a hard-on. But as for me, due to my fetishes and other things that turn me on, I need a certain body type and outfit for me to get hard. For some reason, just looking sexy is not enough for me.
I wish I could be normal like other dudes, but I don't know if there's anything I can do about what turns me on and what doesn't. The sharing of advice and perspectives would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
The reason I'm not posting this on the erotic highway board is because it's TOTALLY dead.
Everyone has their preferences, & the fact that you know what they are, is a good head start IMO. Some guys require the lady they are meeting to wear stockings, other high heels... everyone has a preference.
Now, as far as finding body type, if you do your homework here, you should not have a problem with finding the right lady for you. As far as the outfit, if you are very particular, I recommend buying the exact outfit & asking the lady you intend to see what her size is.
My apologies if I'm wrong, but I get the idea you masturbate a lot. That maybe desensitizing your dick.
You may try not touching yourself or getting off in any way for as long as you can hold out, then go see your fave lady when you've been without for a couple of days and see how that goes. What can it hurt to try?
Your impression is right. I do masturbate a lot. I appreciate your advice and it's something that I will try to implement. The problem, as I've learned in the past, is that it is VERY hard for me to abstain from masturbation for extended periods of time, but I have found ways to distract myself. Having a Kindle to read at night while I'm in bed has been VERY helpful. LOL!!!
Thanks again for the advice offered in this thread so far.
Sounds like masturbating is a way of relaxing for you, one that your body and mind have become very used to. That's normal, but as others have said, it is very likely that it is interfering with what you want for yourself.
Do yourself a favor and try meditation. It's good for your brain, and good for your body. If you can get yourself immersed in a good mediation habit, nothing beats it for relaxing enough to fall asleep. Rather than distracting yourself, you will find that relaxing comes naturally, and nothing beats natural.
I suggest starting out with guided meditation recordings. There many guided meditations you can get for no charge at all, and it seems there is a guided mediation for just about everything.
PM me if you'd like some recommendations for free guided meditations. (No, I have no affiliation with any of them. I just have a lot of experience with meditation. It's great stuff.)
Hoping it all works out for you, no matter how you to choose to "combat" this problem.
Thanks again for the advice offered in this thread so far.
I think this may be why I had issues my first time its good to hear I'm not the only one
I always stop the self-pleasuring at least a week before seeing a provider. Since I am averaging a date about every other week, I rarely masturbate anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy it, but I prefer to be able to get off with the provider, whether it be in the bag inside her, or orally/manually. If not masturbating will help me do that, then that's what I will do, give it up. Suggest you do same.
Swim
you need to stop pumping self service..try the full service line..they do everything for you..
therein lies the rub..LOL..
A lot depends on where you live. For example, if you live in New York City, you're bound to be able to find just about any combination of sexual practice and fetish that there is, and plenty of body types and gals willing to wear whatever you want.
On the other hand, if you are in the boonies, you sort of have to take what is there.
As for the masturbation, what others say is the real deal. You can't eat before going to a restaurant and then blame it when you don't have the appetite. I've stopped masturbating almost completely, and I enjoy my sessions way more now.
To stop, I just envisioned how much more enjoyable my sessions will be, and that pretty much allowed me to re-traing myself.
I hope you also have that result.
I know some guys like to see women in various outfits - school girl, nurse, stockings and heels, etc.
I once had a guy who could only get hard if the lady was covered head to toe in fishnet stocking and I mean head to toe. I thought he was joking, but he bought me the outfit he wanted me to wear (I do not have the body type for fishnet stockings btw), but I indulged his fantasy. He had me covered in fishnet - including my face. He cut out a couple of holes in stragetic places so he could enjoy me the entire session covered in fish net.
Depending on what your fetish is, it might be hard to find a lady willing to accomodate you regardless of her body type.
I once had a guy who could only get hard if the lady was covered head to toe in fishnet stocking and I mean head to toe. I thought he was joking, but he bought me the outfit he wanted me to wear (I do not have the body type for fishnet stockings btw), but I indulged his fantasy. He had me covered in fishnet - including my face. He cut out a couple of holes in stragetic places so he could enjoy me the entire session covered in fish net.
Depending on what your fetish is, it might be hard to find a lady willing to accomodate you regardless of her body type.
I live in a major metropolitan area, so finding the right provider with the right body type is not a problem.
heather..i love your tenderness and sincerity..
Well, as I said earlier, hobbying isn't exactly cheap. It's not like I can always do it when I want to do it, as opposed to wanking it.