Newbie - FAQ

Re: It just plain sucks when that happens. I'd move on brother
weazer73 3943 reads
posted
1 / 11

I picked a lady, who has good reviews on another site. I have done my homework and she is legit. Last week she bailed on me 3 or so hours ahead of our appointment, she had to leave town for an emergency.

So, we reschedule, no biggie right, well she just bailed on me again this time about 1.5 hours from our appointment.  This time she is not feeling well.

Now, I know crap happens and it happens to me alot, but what am I to do?  She is willing to see me without a reference(She checked up on me), where-as the other ladys I want to see all require atleast one.

It sucks because I have very limited times to have fun in and I have to do some pre-planning ahead of time, so it's not like I can reschedule for the next day.  Or call someone up and push my schedule back.

So, what should I do, give her the benifit of the dought or try to find someone else?  

What do you guy's do for a back up plan if they cancel spur of the notice?

DC. 51 Reviews 2902 reads
posted
2 / 11

As far as a backup, scope out two or three local agencies and screen for them.  Then be ready to call when you get canceled on.  It hard as hell to have an indy or two as back up just because of logistics, but an agency usually has a couple of providers ready to go within an hour or two.

The exception, evidently, is Las Vegas.  I've heard bad things about the agencies in Vegas.


Good luck

Common Sense 2437 reads
posted
3 / 11

First of all, she has 3 good reviews on another site. That could be good, could be bad. Many other sites your review goes up instantly, anyone could have written them. Anyway, sounds more like after twice you probably got bumped for a better offer, especially since you have no reviews. Yea it sucks, but that is life.

Back up plan is simple, I always have one or two that I know I can go to on short notice, many times that is when I decide to risk an unknown CL lady, they are usually available on short notice.

foodcritic 15 Reviews 1741 reads
posted
5 / 11

It is sad but true.  I can't tell you if you should give her another try or not, only you can decide that.  I will say that there will always be another provider that is of interest to you.

Maybe not today or tomorrow, but she will be there in a short time.  Be patient.

As to the twice cancelled provider, send her a polite email explaining your plight as you did here, ask her frankly if she plans to see you or if you should go elsewhere.

Judge her response and decide if you want to roll the dice again.  If so offer her several dates and times that will work for you and have her select what works best for her.

As for a plan B?  That is not too hard for  the established hobbyist.  He has seen enough ladies that he is known in his local community and can easily find a spur of the moment appointment.  But for me, I am mostly a plan well in advance guy so if Plan A fails and that is very very rare, I just go do something else instead.

shudaknownbetter 1458 reads
posted
6 / 11

It is tough when you're real new.  When I call a Fav, it usually happens.  If a first date fell through, I'd check my Favs first, then previous ok dates.  It's really a shorter list than it sounds...  

As to your situation...  I would give her the benifit of the doubt, but would also ask if the third time is going to be the charm...  or that "you're beginning to get a complex" (joking of course).  I know that others might quit now, and that's up to you to choose.  Either you connect this time or 3rd strike, yer out.

One should never get so involved that you're unwilling to walk away.  There are always alternatives.
skb    

-- Modified on 8/28/2008 8:01:16 AM

charlie445 3 Reviews 1886 reads
posted
7 / 11
boomer21750 14 Reviews 1283 reads
posted
8 / 11

I think a lot of us (myself included) have an expectation of behavior that we carry over from our civvie lives.  The expectation that calls/emails are returned, promises honored, and appointments kept.  Some hobbyists/providers are just not that rigorous about these things and it is frustrating to those of us who are.  We go to great lengths to set up, provide references, get $$$ to be dogged at the last minute.  This is not the norm, but it does happen.  In my 10 encounters in the last two months, i've had two disappointments like this.  %80 satisfaction is not to bad for an underground industry.  Don't get frustrated when you finally find your ATF things seem to fall into place without a hitch.

keystonekid 114 Reviews 1294 reads
posted
9 / 11

You were very generous in giving her a 2nd chance.  This isn't baseball, two strikes and you are out here, at least for me.  My guess is she dropped you for a "regular" who needed to see her a certain time.

h8traffic 84 Reviews 1657 reads
posted
10 / 11

You really going to give her a 3rd chance?

Stop wasting your time, and move on to the next one...

On the other hand (not the one you wacking off with) think about all the $ you saved!

Paris-Bouvier See my TER Reviews 1430 reads
posted
11 / 11

There are plenty of well-reviewed providers right here on TER. I realize that you're a newbie with no references, we were all there at one time. However, there are alternatives...such as employment verification. Have you offered the providers your employment info in lieu of a provider reference?

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