Steiny, I'm older than you but am in good shape as I play lots of sports and watch my weight. I've seen about 20 ladies and still in my early stage of the hobby game. Right now I have two 30's ladies that have done the same to me. I am like you in that I really don't know their intentions either. They seem very sincere and nice and have given me personal info. Unlike you I am married and they both know this but promise me no drama. Neither girl has a boyfriend or S.O. and they text me both day and night and sometimes call me during the day time only (as I told them that is the only time they can).

I am guarded just like you but so far do not feel threatened. I do believe like all good salespeople they are protecting their cash cow as I do call and hook up with them more than some of the other ladies.

So I just take their compliments with a grain of salt and enjoy. I would never give them too much info if I were you as you just never know their true intentions unless you have known them for like 2 years are more.....Just my .02

I have gotten into close friendships with a number of providers over the years, mostly to my enjoyment (occasionally not, but that's life.)

In those cases, I had already seen or at least conversed with the providers extensively, so I never felt like someone was moving in on me, so to speak.

I would be wary if I was you.  It might be genuine affection and perhaps with the economy being the way it is, the providers are being more proactive to shore you up as a faithful (I use the word without irony.) repeat customer.

In any case, you are under no obligation to return the familiarity and you should make your decisions to repeat or not based upon what is important to you, not them.

Keep us posted on this one.  It's an intriguing situation.

-- Modified on 12/9/2008 5:42:15 AM

That could have something to do with it. There are not many really savvy ladies who would do that after just one or two dates.

~Rae

It sounds like you're not the typical old fart like most of us, me included. Perhaps they do just see you as a good catch. I have seen a couple of ladies socially, but in my case, it was fairly obvious that honest friendship was all there would be. Like I said, I'm an old fart, and there is no gold to be dug.

If you enjoy their company, go ahead and see them, but keep it on the clock. Just do it carefully, and be prepared to jump out if it becomes necessary.

unless he has requested it in advance. What if a wife, family member or client is with him...

I find it very strange for a provider to call you out of the blue like that and want to be friends...as in relationship

This is not a dating site !

Yes, you are single which might be why they feel safe calling but it still isn't the norm or to me acceptable.

Kisses Haley

Over the last 8 months, I have had a few providers give me personal cell numbers, real names, etc. and have had some contact me out of the blue. I am also on the younger end of the spectrum for the hobby and reasonably attractive and fit, so maybe appearance is a factor or my age or any number of other factors that have been mentioned already.

Whatever the reason, I always lose the information quickly and take whatever steps necessary to make sure it does not continue (new cell, etc.). Discretion is critically important in this hobby and these kinds of activities demonstrate a complete lack it, IMO.

Being single (I am not) may mean that you do not have to be as careful as some because of an SO, but there are many other very good reasons to maintain a certain level of anonymity, especially after knowing someone for such a short time.

Though there are some that have had a measure of success at mixing, in some way, their hobby life and their "real" life, I am not sure many would recommend it due to the confluence of circumstances that is required to make it work. Your post makes me think that you do not have a problem with civvie relationships with women. Why not enjoy those for what they are and enjoy the hobby for what it is? Obviously you have to make your own decision but certainly, just be careful...

K

I had the almost exact same thing happen to me with a lady that's been in the business for quite a while.  Before our first date was over, she'd given me her real name.  She called me on my way home to thank me again.

We've been friends for about 4 years now.  I've been to her home, and met some of her family.  The relationship is still business oriented, but I'm absolutely certain that she's not playing me.

Maybe you're just a good guy.  A lot of providers are very perceptive, and can spot a good guy from pretty far away.  I don't think you should let your guard down, just in case, but don't be afraid to enjoy it either.

Good luck.

As long as you are single(and careful) what's the harm? Make sure you don't confuse your (or her) feelings for love, and have a good time if you are so inclined.

I have many providers that I count as friends and spend time "off the clock", I have also had many with whom I made the transition from client to boyfriend. Just be careful, even more careful than with civvie friends/girlfriends and enjoy yourself.

I think you will find that just like in civvie dating, some of their interest will be genuine, some will be "you are a good catch", and some will definitely not have your best interests at heart. The trick is to recognize the difference.

Nothing in life comes without risk, don't listen to the old, jaded guys who think that all providers are out soley for your money, but use common sense as well.

PS I am also single, not a kid(50 next month), will never be on the cover of GQ, but successful enough to probably be considered a good catch.

There is reason to be cautious.  I'd be very careful about revealing too much...   If you are single & are ok with this, fine.  You never know what is in their mind.
skb

The Love Goddess always has insight into these types of situations. If your not familiar with the Erotic Highway, it's to the left of this post, the last board under National Boards