does it take seeing a provider before you can ask for a reference or ask if she'll whitelist you here on TER? Also, if anyone knows how it works on the other sites (Date-check, P411, RS2K), then that would be appreciated as well. Thanks in advance for the help hobbyists (and providers if they come on here)!

-- Modified on 7/2/2010 12:29:50 PM

You may ask a provider if you can use her as a reference after the first visit. If it has been a while since you saw her, send an email with info about your visit, such as the date and where you saw her. Always let her know before using her as a reference.
I am always happy to give references but only if the client gave me a heads up first to be expecting a call or email about him. If he did not warn me beforehand I have no way of knowing if it is really another provider or a jealous significant other fishing for info.

I've gotten references after the first time.  With the first, the provider told me before I left that it would be fine to use her as a reference and with the second, I simply gave name and phone number and got the reference immediately.