I'm finding that the established providers will not see you absent 2 or 3 current references. Yet, only established providers can provide said references. The fly by nights are essentially ghosts. So...what's a fella to do?  Is there any room for newbies anymore or should we just leave this "hobby" to those already firmly established within it?  I'm getting frustrated.

Like P411, RS2K or DateCheck.

Find out which ones are the most used in your area.

Then find a girl (or two or three...) that uses that site.

Everyone starts out as a newbie.

As JB said: Your best bet is to get verified by becoming a member of one of the following notable verification sites.

Most men find them very feasible.

Happy Hobbying.

Finding a happy medium, is going to be the vain of my existence.  

Now this is only my personal take on things, so here goes.  

Someone who has joined a verification site, is no farther ahead in the game, at least with me, than someone who hasnt joined a verification site.  What does your screening membership ID tell me?  Well, I am only familiar with one, but I assume they all work off of a similar concept.  It tells me that you paid a fee, to receive a membership ID, that keeps your identity anonymous.  Knowing you are Fred-21-M-1234, doesnt tell me anything.

If you contacted me and presented me with two references and their information, or if you came to me through a site, with those same two references, in the form of an okay, they are still the same two references, they dont carry any more weight or value, and neither do you.

A TER username handle, that is connected to your two reviews, far outweighs in value and information, a screening membership ID with two okays, on any given day.   I will NEVER except, a verification site membership ID, as my sole source for screening.  But I have absolutely, excepted a TER username handle, as my sole source of screening.  Provided that it is connected, with his posts and reviews, that is sometimes all I need to know to need know.

It boils down to this, she has to be able to make a decision on whether she would feel comfortable seeing you or not.  Ask yourself this, if the tables were turned, could you make a decision to see someone, based soley on the information that you are willing to give her?  Would you see me based on Jaycee-29-R-1234?  No pictures, no reviews, just some okays from people that you dont know?

Dear Nicholette:
I was wondering if you would be so kind to help the member out and determine if you would see him sense he would have meager references and limited activities in the hobby?

I can personally understand the value of knowing a prospective client's TER handle, but in many ways doesn't it potentially stifle the clients ability to give a true and candid review of the provider?  We all know that it is easy for a client to catch a buttload of flack even if they had a legitimately poor experience with a provider and reviewed them on this site, especially if the provider knew their TER handle.  It isn't like putting up a review of a restaurant online since this sort of service is much more selective in whom they allow to be clients of theirs.

Not sure how one can stifle the clients ability to give a true and candid review, unless she is actually standing over him, while he is writing it.  Once a review is posted, regardless of what is posted, or the accuracy, or inaccuracy, of it, if it isnt proven to be an all out fake review, it will never be deleted.  If you're a hobbyiest, you write with the assured freedom, that pretty anything you say, can and will remain.  The provider, has absolutely no recourse, unless its an all out fake.  Who's really getting the flack here, with no recourse?

I haven't personally experienced it, but I have heard of some reviewers being harassed and outrightly threatened by a provider for leaving a less than desirable review.  I'm sure it's far and few between, but the main way the provider even knew who to harass was due to the fact that, in each instance, she knew the TER handle.  When she saw the review she went apeshit about it.

As a client in a very selective service such as this, I would be hesitant to give out my TER handle to a provider I haven't visited before due to this very fact.  Even as clients there is a fear of repercussions and reprisals of upsetting providers.  Just as a client can make up lies about a provider, a provider can do the same if she feels her business is threatened or she feels jilted by a review.  The last instance I heard of this was a provider upset that she got an 8/9 when she felt she deserved a 10/10.  An 8/9 still is not a bad review, but she caused this guy tons of grief over it.  Had she not known his TER handle she wouldn't definitively know who left the review especially if he waited a couple weeks or more to post it.  A hobbyist can write truthfully without the fear of reprisals if he does not expose his handle.  It's just like how you wouldn't tell your boss about his/her shortcomings to their face for fear of being fired or harassed afterwards, but you could easily and truthfully write about it anonymously on a message board.

I do sympathize with the providers who have to deal with fake reviews or ones that include false information.  Nothing infuriates me more than lies such as that.  While your recourse can be to appeal to TER to have the review pulled, there is little recourse that a client can take to stop harassment or keep from being put on a DNS list by a provider who is unhappy with her review.

I just looked one post below our thread and saw that PocketFisherMan had been blackmailed into changing his review for a girl who was displeased with her score.  See link below.

Contact ladies you are interested in. Give them the full scoop on your reference situation in your polite introductory e-mail or conversation. Be prepared to offer up some personal or work information for screening purposes. If they don't want to see you, nicely thank them for their time and ask if it would be okay to contact them back after you have some further references. Whether the answer is yes or no, don't leave a bad impression. You can be a newbie, but leave a good vibe behind you. News travels.

Sooner or later, there will be ladies that say yes. See them, write reviews. Be polite and ask nicely if you may use them as references. If you have fun, consider seeing them again, to keep yourself fresh in their mind and build a relationship.

Repeat this process until you get the hang of it, and you have a number of references. After awhile, things get easier. We've all been there. I got started that same difficult way, without the benefit of a reference service. It can be done. Just be a good, safe client and do what is expected and appropriate. Read the lady's website for her etiquette page or FAQ before seeing her. Be on time and an efficient communicator for logistics stuff. The easier you can make it on them, the better it works for you in the long run.

Patience, grasshopper.

you could waste your time with lower tiered providers, but you'd be better off with seeing the best of the best. Not all great providers are alike, and some having a less PITA screening process. Find one, try repeating, and then politely ask they give you as a reference. Not in the actual sessions, but later on, right before you need it. This is what I did, and it worked for me.