I'm being very cautious setting up my first appointment.

I was emailing a provider who gave me instructions on a verification process by calling my work(little scary, but understand). Since this is my first time, I requested to give my info over the phone and meet for coffee prior to making an appointment.

Got a response that I wasn't sincere. Just wondering if I'm being a little too cautious?

Took the advice of several here and bought a prepaid phone, separate email, etc. Even took it one step further and surf using an Ironkey (which I love).

Thanks, you all are great!

Look at this from her point of view - making contact, especially through email, is alot more dangerous for her than it is for you.  Until you actually show up with money in hand, you're just enacting some stupid fantasy.

Remember, the target of 98% of LE stings are targeted not at clients, but at providers - a consequence of the moralistic viewpoint of the laws being enforced - the WOMAN is the criminal, not the one buying the service.

The answer is yes, you're being too cautious.  Because it's more dangerous for her, you have to be willing to be more open with your information than she initially can be with hers.  This is not to say you're to throw caution out the window - this is why you use sites like TER to find well-reviewed providers who you can be 99.999% certain are not LE and will give you an enjoyable time.

You'll have to satisfy her screening requirements on her terms.  If you're not ok with those terms, you can go elsewhere.  There's no negotiating on that point.

Once you satisfy her screening, then you can request a coffee/lunch/whatever meeting to make you more comfortable.  What you did by requesting to do the screening over the phone was essentially try to negotiate about her safety, and frankly, she probably responded alot more politely than she was obligated to.

I'm sure you didn't intend to send that message - but understanding the caution she has to take probably makes that alot clearer to you now.

Edit:
For what it's worth, I'm not terribly comfortable with a provider calling my work either.  However, it's a motion of trust I am willing to make, and frankly, you'll notice it alot more than anyone else will.  It's not like she'll call and tell the operator she's an escort and she's calling to make sure you are who you say you are - she'll usually do something original like confirm a dentist appointment or something.

-- Modified on 10/29/2008 9:07:37 PM

Asking to meet before committing to an appointment is a big red flag to any experienced provider. They don't want to hear that wishy washy shit. If they agree to it, the guy gets the chance to hang out with them, size them up, and then say "let me think about it and I'll get back to you". You would be better off making a firm commitment, and if you decide to back out for any reason when she shows up, give her a little money for her trouble and tell her you can't go through with it.

and one you may not like.  I can understand your wishing to provide your information over the phone rather than via internet.  Most providers will be happy to accomodate this.  

However, your idea about meeting for coffee prior to an appointment will not get many positive responses.  A provider is compensated for one thing... her time.  It does not matter if that time is spent driving to a coffeeshop and meeting you or at the appointment.  This is not a job interview or "casting call."  If I met with every gentlemen who wanted to get together for coffee, have a drink or get a bite to eat, prior to making an appointment... I'd have little time for revenue producing activities such as; answering calls and e-mails, prescreening and actual appointments or for my own personal activies.

If you are uneasy, find a well reviewed and respected provider.  Provide her with the information she requires for prescreening and schedule the appointment.

If you feel the need to meet with a provider face-to-face prior to scheduling, check to see if your local TER community hosts Meet-N-Greets.  These are attended by hobbiests and providers alike and are an excellent way to meet the ladies who capture your fancy.

A little caution is good.  Too much.. and you won't get anywhere.

Have fun and enjoy your erotic adventures.

Upon re-reading my post, I realize I neglected to mention that suggesting to meet for coffee/lunch/whatever should be on-the-clock time the lady is paid for... you are correct.

Sorry

I agree with all the above posts. Are you being too scared? It's more like you're being too annoying. One of the things most providers hate are time wasters, or scared wishy washies who will probably end up being no call, no shows. Time is money, do you realize how many inquiries this woman probably receives on a daily basis? Should she just meet with every jo shmo without first receiving screening information and a firm commitment? Did you really expect her to meet with you without being compensated for her time? Honey, it's not match.com. I would definitely drop the nonsense before approaching another lady, you've pretty much blown your chances with this one.

these ladies are putting a lot on the line. They are trusting and accepting who and what you are at pretty much face value. You will need to put some trust out there as well. By the time I've decided that I want to contact any particular lady, I have also made the decision that she is someone that I can trust. Hopefully, with the information that I provide her, she will be able to feel the same degree of trust, and we can get on with the appointment, not a half-hour at Starbuck's. It's all part of the homework.

Give it another shot. A lot of folks have given you some good advice.

The ladies screen, you should screen to make sure the match is good.  Without screening, you might as well go to a rub and tug AMP rather than a lady of quality.

Date Check, or RS2000.

When contacting a new lady, I have occasionally offered to meet in a neutral location.  That's a world of difference from coffee.  I have met a lady at an easy to find coffee shop & she guided me to her location since I was unfamilar with the area.  
Some ladies may have been burned by guys who start with coffee, enjoy the flirt & then bail before the main course & without compensation.
skb

All,

Thanks for all the replys. The intent was to pay her for her time when we met the first time.

I now see how my hesitation is wasting her time. She's hot, my type and well reviewed. I'm going to call her and set it up.

Many Thanks!

J