Is it polite?
expected?
going the extra mile?
irrelevant?

I never have.  I assume it would make them uncomfortable to know it - in other words, they would rather feel some fun from the encounter rather than feeling like they were about to walk into an SAT exam, I heard one of them say once.

I never bring it up.

If the lady in question has no reviews, it is probably best to let her know that you plan on writing a review. It is possible that she does not wish to be reviewed for her own reasons, and giving her a heads up that you plan to write one gives her the opportunity to ask you not to. If she already has reviews, then there is no need to tell her in advance that you plan to write a review.

If you do chose to tell her before you write the review though, I recommend telling her AFTER your session, rather than before. As one person already put it, it does indeed give one the feel of sitting down for a test, rather than getting ready to enjoy a delightful encounter. Additionally, if the lady knows she's going to be reviewed, it may unfairly skew your encounter - to your benefit, but not the benefit of those who may later chose to see her based on what would surely be a glowing review of her.

Just my thoughts

It was stated that one of the reasons for telling a provider of plans to write a review being that it "...gives her the opportunity to ask you not to."

I strongly disagree with this advice, for several reasons.

First, some gentlemen prefer to remain anonymous regarding their reviews - and telling the provider you plan to write one essentially gives away your TER reviewer identity.  Once that info is in the public domain, you can't take it back.  It is an issue for some, not for others.

Second, if the session was unsatisfactory, the review should be written strictly on the basis of preventing others from making a similar bad choice, regardless of the provider's feelings.

Third, even if you tell her afterwards that you plan to write a review, she may take exception with one or more parts of the review for any number of reasons -- resulting in either declined future appointments, or just general drama that you simply don't need ("why did you only give me an 8 instead of a 9", blah, blah, blah...).

Fourth, a review should always be written, regardless of her opinion on the subject -- because the entire reason that TER exists is to share information regarding existing choices.  If a provider chooses to not have reviews, she can always request to be delisted.

I recommend that gents always write a review, and never tell the provider, before or after.





-- Modified on 9/13/2006 12:09:05 PM

You asked:

1. "Should I tell the provider I plan to review this rendez-vous?"

Ahead of time?  Absolutely not.


2. "Is it polite?"

No, it is totally irrelevant.


3. "expected?"

No, and probably quite unexpected were you to tell her ahead of time.


4. "going the extra mile?"

Nope, just asking for trouble.


5. "irrelevant?"

Bingo.


Have a good time, write the review, and keep it to yourself.

Reisclaimer to your advice.

Atl,

You are correct on most points, but I still stand by my belief that if a lady has no reviews, asking her about her feelings on reviews beforehand is the polite thing to do. Reviews are tremendously helpful to me, and most other providers. However, if a lady does not want reviews written though, for any of a number of reasons, her feelings should be respected. Furthermore, the burden shouldn't be on her to track down the numerous sites where reviews can be posted in order to prevent them from being posted about her - not when a simple "Thank you for asking, but I prefer not to have any reviews written" would suffice.

When I wrote my response, I wrote it from the perspective of assuming the experience was a positive one. You are correct in regard to writing a poor review. In the case where an experience was not satisfactory, then yes, by all means a man should feel free to post a review regardless of whether there are any reviews for that provider.

This just might be one thing we'll have to agree to disagree on

I usually ask the lady on my way out the door if it is OK to write a review on our session.  I have had one lady request that I not write a review on TER but another site was OK.  She thought TER was too graphic.  Now if the session was not a good one (few and far between), I usually will not ask but write the review to assist my fellow hobbyists.

thanks for the amazing depository of hobbying wisdom everyone

atl_mgr,

>>>>"Is it polite?"
>>No, it is totally irrelevant.

What if one thinks that the provier was up-to-par but one doesn't feel like posting a fake review due to selfs' mental/physical state, and having  informed the (well reviewed) provider of the same, via email??

I'd assumed that it wouldn't be kosher, at the time, to mislead fellow hobbyists, who may have a better time than I.

Thanks

For what it's worth... I think most providers I know feel the same way as he expressed.

(*another FYI-.... sometimes it might seem like a hobbyists is trying to "hedge a position of power" by mentioning prior to an appointment that he plans on reviewing the encounter.....

BAD CHOICE !!!  

Most established providers are neither threatened nor intimidated by the "threat" of a review. ~if you are established then you have provided consistent services or you wouldn't still be in business~

Many times telling an established provider ahead of time that you plan on writing a review might get you an unexpected response. ..... just an FYI*)

Happy hobbying....  kisses ~Tori

I'm not saying that the gentleman should tell the provider he's planning to write a review before the session.

All I'm saying is that if the lady does not already have reviews AND the session was a positive one, then and only then would it make sense to ask her preference before writing up a review, and the only reason it makes sense to ask is that her lack of reviews may be intentional on her part.

There are a number of review sites out there - just last week I discovered two reviews about me on a website I had never heard of (both positive, fortunately). If a lady wants to remain under the radar with NO reviews written, she is tasked with the burden of policing who knows how many sites to track down reviews written about her - when a simple "Do you mind reviews being written on your behalf?" at the end of a session could have saved her the effort of tracking down a review, and him the time of writing it.

Regarding the timing of asking the question though, oh yes, Atl and Tori are absolutely correct. If reviews are discussed at all, it should be at the end of the session, not before.

If a lady prefers no reviews, the best way for her to handle it is to state so on her web site.  This approach makes her views known, and it eliminates the need for her clients to ask.  In any case, her 'permission' is not required in the first place.

When ladies enter the 'public domain' with a web site, advertising, etc., they are no longer 'under the radar', and they also take on the possibility of being reviewed on any one of many review sites.

Ladies that are truly UTR don't have a web site presence.  In addition, a review cannot be submitted to TER without a valid web site or ad URL - it's one of the review requirements.

Your experience (good, bad, or indifferent) should be submitted to stand along with all the others.  It merely needs to be a factual account of what occurred - because that's what a review is, an accounting of your experience (not that of others).

If it mirrors the experience of others, it serves to strengthen the previous reviews.  If it is somehow different, it still has value, since it may indicate a YMMV situation.

However, posting a fake review of any kind is simply wrong, regardless of circumstances.  It will also get you and/or the provider banned.

from the Phoenix board

the hobbyist? Here are two reviews by the same person...almost identical

...the provider profile one has phone# craigs list and website, the other one has no links at all, the email just a little tweekin, no phone #

The profile shows a different age but the hobbyist admitted in the one review the same age as the other provider.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/showReview.asp?Review=524265&user=462646

http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/showReview.asp?Review=525219&user=462646

The rumor mill has it that some providers write there own reviews from other computers...I just wonder how many of the hobbyist have different handles doing the same thing...


-- Modified on 9/13/2006 8:00:16 AM

That providers would recognize reviews that were made by a hobbyist and posted about them. I would also hope that the provider would make an attempt to maintain the integrity of the reviews and of the board by reporting reviews that are obviously false… whether positive or not.

Bottom line, if I receive a new review and I can not recall the encounter, I will PM the reviewer via TER private mail and ask him a few questions so that he can give me more confidence that he had indeed met with me. If he fails to have the knowledge to provide specifics then I will send a problem report to staff. I feel it is just as much of the providers responsibility to help keep the integrity of TER.

Unfortunately I know several providers who do not feel the same way I do and  of those providers some who actually brag that they don’t take the time to read their reviews…..
They might not invest the time in keeping TER’s reputation of integrity in tack but they definitely benefit from the site in regards to client referral….. Just my thoughts  ~T