I joined TER in early Oct. and P411 a couple of weeks later, based on the good advice I received here.  I chose P411 because I was able to talk directly to a rep to resolve my main problem issue -- I'm retired, so no work phone to verify.  Once registered there I used their notification systsem to request a date with a provider whose reviews on TER were stellar.  She requires two references even if you're P411-verifyed, so at first she turned me down.  But she was so nice and helpful about it (recommending others to try) that I was very gracious about her turn-down and we kept e-mailing back and forth.  The result was, she became comfortable enough to see me and the session was great.  Now she has used the P411 system to give me an "OK," meaning others can check this reference and it will be easier for me to see other girls. The main point is that, as a newbie, the way you communicate with a provider -- whether by e-mail or phone -- is very important.  If you are respectful, appropriately enthusiastic about her, and not pushy it will go a long way.  The ladies are very cautious at first, for all the obvious reasons.  And that makes it safer for us, too.