I would say I am fairly confident and doing well in most areas of my life, except girls and sex. I am 26 year old virgin guy. One reason I have this predicament was due to my Asian parents' strict focus on education and career. I concentrated on finishing up my education and getting a good paying job. I even bought myself a nice house and am working towards getting into management.

Another reason for this issue is it seem like I just wasn't strongly sexually girls till recently. One year ago, I somehow finally realized just how attracted girls I am and was dying to have sex finally. In fact, sometimes it drives me crazy until I jerk off to porn. Yes, I am also fairly shy around attractive girls.

Of course, the first I tried going to bars and even some read up some Pick-up artist techniques. However, for some reason the whole idea of putting on differently personality and lying to girl just to have sex seems bad to me. The fear of actually ending up in bedroom and having no clue how to have sex with a girl is also there.

I started thinking more about escorts after seeing an ad of a high end girl from NYC. She looked like perfect girl to me and she charged $1,000 per hour. After thinking about I might be willing to pay that for a girl that looks that good. And yes, I can easily spend $1k or $2k since I have a good amount of saving in cash. Unfortunately, I lost the url of that Ad Hiring an escort almost seems like a better, easier, and more honest way of finding hot girls to have sex with.

So you may ask why I haven't done this or decided on it yet. The main reason is I have too much to lose in life. Society and laws are against prostitution. I have a good career whose security requirements needs me to have a clean record. I have a very nice house and good life style I am living now. Of course, my friends and family may leave me because of this too. I think I might be crazy to risk loosing all of this just for hiring escorts.

I have actually considered going to those legal brothels in Nevada or some other foreign countries. Or maybe I should just pay $2-3K for those pick-up artist classes and learn to be a player. What do you guys think?

-- Modified on 4/22/2011 9:48:48 PM

Go to Nevada. Anything else will make you so nervous you probably won't enjoy it. The  girls are given continual health checks and only practice safe sex (everything is covered.) I'm old enough to be your father and I give you permission. Seriously, its important to know the difference between sex and love and this is a good way to begin. Or, you can go to Germany or Belgium and do the same thing. Travel is good to broaden your outlook. Enjoy. Be sure and report back here. We all love to hear about this type of thing i.e., sex.

Take some time and read up on how to be safe by going to the Self Help Manual linked on this page.  

The executive summary is to only see well reviewed gals, and be discreet about your actions.

If you do feel the need to go somewhere where the hobby is legal, Canada offers some wonderful gals at very good prices in a legal environment.

I have not heard many good reviews of the legal brothels in Nevada.

You should seek out an older gal and tell her your situation.  There are many that are very gentle and understanding and will make your first expererience a wonderful one.

I wish you great success.

If you had already decided on a course of action and needed a recommendation or two, the experts at TER could definitely help and keep you from going astray. "Read the reviews." "Always use a 'hobby phone'." "Never send a scan of your driver's license." and so on. But you're not there yet. You're still deciding and have some complicated factors to deal with.

I think you should seek counseling from a different sort of expert. That, of course, might mean more stigmas for some cultures to deal with, but it's 100% legal and, except in some very special cases, can't be used against you in any employment situation.

Yeah, I'm saying, "go talk to a shrink". Do your homework when picking a shrink, too. You might find a good one and things will work out great in the long run. (My own FANTASY would be to find someone who uses "surrogates" as part of their therapeutic regimen!) Or, after a few sessions, you might wonder why you're wasting your time and money and come back to TER with more questions.

You might also try Amsterdam.  Get laid, go to the Van Gogh Museum.  Eat great food.   Get laid again. You'll have a great time.  Much better than going to Nevada, where the only legal brothels are in small towns.  Then, once you've popped your cherry a few times, you can come home with enough confidence to see ladies in your home town.  Just do all your reading first on this site:  Newbie Manual,  learn all the acronyms, read back 4-5 pages on this board.  In other words, do your homework.  Stick to well-reviewed girls with good web sites and you have nothing to fear (except fear itself!  LOL!).  Good luck!  Go for it!  You're going to have an earth-shattering experience and your world will never be the same.
PS:  And don't get upset if you cum the first time a girl looks cross-eyed at your dick.  Or if you can't get it up because of nerves.  Just keep at it.  You'll be fine.

consider a trip to Germany (use a tour group so you don't have to worry about driving, directions, where to stay, etc.) to visit some FKK Clubs.  Tell the ladies you meet you are "new" and they will take good care of you.

When you return to the states, read the Newbie Manual (Self-Help Center), several pages on the Newbie Board, and get a hobby phone.  If you see well-reviewed ladies, you minimize any risks.

Good luck.

So how are the foreign European country experience like compared to say escorts or Nevada brothels? The escort work in similar fashion in Amsterdam or Germany like they do here in the USA? I am guessing from I have heard European all speak English at least.

Thanks for the advice!

I've been told by my a Canadian provider that outcall is legal in Canada.  pick a well reviewed provider with good reviews and let her know your situation.  There are several that tour the US and have excellent reviews.  You may have an issue with screening since you are new, but that can be mitigated by a screening service.   The German FKK suggestion is excellent as well, however the logistics are more complicated.

I'm not to keen on the Nevada angle.  I think a noob could get scammed pretty easily in a legal brothel in Nevada with all the upselling  and such.

come back here.  Read the Self help section.  Read back on this board until you can answer every question yourself.  Get a hobbie phone & private email (leave no tracks you'll have to worry about later).   Find a newbie friendly well reviewed TER provider.  Once you've popped your cherry, you'll be able to date civies without going nuts & with the confidence that you know how to.  
I urge you to be open to civie relationships & not remove yourself from the market...  but you can have a lot of fun with providers until the right girl comes along.   This is why you need to keep your hobby private.  This is a secret world.  A double life, like a secret agent.  Are you ready for that?  You never tell anyone (outside of this board).  Not your best friend, not your brother, not a future girlfriend, not the girl you will eventually marry.  (You may tell your bride...  that you've had girl friends before.  You NEVER tell them HOW MANY or HOW LONG (hours) they were your girlfriend for.)

Think on this...
skb

Dallas is at least ass deep in great providers and if you are diligent about seeking out a good one, that's by far the least expensive option.  Next up the price chain is a flight to Las Vegas, a rental car, and a 1 hour drive to Sheri's Ranch.  Be prepared to negotiate, and negotiate hard, or you'll be dropping a grand for a largely uninspired half hour with a lady that will spot your virginity before you leave your car.  If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't leave town for it, but that's just me.  You seem to be over thinking this, which is pretty standard for someone who has waited this long.  Buy a pair of Nikes, and Just Do It!  Oh, and then write a review so we can all live vicariously through your fun.

Hobbying is complicated and there are many things that can go wrong. The least of your worries is LE especially since you seem to have no issue with budget. If you wanted to pick up street walkers then LE is a concern. I dont get why people are saying to go to a foreign country or nevada? It is hard enough to learn the modus operandi here in the US, much less in  a foreign country. More than likely you will not have a good time. Since you are in NY there are hundreds of well reviewed providers probably within an hours drive. Just read the newbie guide, pick one and go. I would advice someone older , 40+.

Many of the ladies are such good actresses that you really have trouble separating the "Girl Friend Experience" from real life.  The GFE is the illusion of "what it would feel like IF the lady was your girlfriend".  She is not.  These boards are littered with the broken hearts of guys who fell for their Favorite provider.  Mine was one of them, a couple of years ago.   The sex hormones flood the body with the nesting instinct...   For that reason, I do not encourage serial meetings with the same provider (I rotate among my Favorites with a new girl if I feel she has the potential to become a Fav.  I'm not interested in notching my headboard as many times as possible.)

BTW, picking up girls is frought with risk as well.   I know one young man who was a player.  Picked up a lady, they took her car back to his place, spent the night.   When he didn't call her again, she filed rape charges on him.  It cost him his good job, his home, his family morgaged their home to pay the 10's of thousands of dollars in legal fees...  and he finally won.  By luck, the bar had security cameras on the parking lot, showed her bringing him back to get his car in the morning, giving him a kiss before she drove away.    
skb

both are very safe countries where P4P is completely legal, and command of the Spanish language is helpful, but far from necessary.

If your fear is breaking the law, this is a very affordable way to avoid that issue.

You can find very good providers and super hot ones for far less than $1,000 per hour. The going rate for good providers in most USA cities run in the $350-$600 per hour range. You can travel to Europe and Asia to find model quailty, adventurous providers, but you can simply go to big USA cities and find what you want. If you travel to Europe or Asia for business, take advantage of you free time to spend it with good providers that you have done TER research on, there are also a couple of other escort rating sites that cover Europe. If you live near NYC, Miami, LA, SF, you are set if you use good discretion.

Women working in Europe come from all over. There are the baltic types, asians and africans working, with a few middle easterners. Generally, finding a 9 or 10 for looks escort in europe is easier for me than in any USA city except for maybe NYC. I am a looks and ass man, many european escorts have both in abundance.

Before hobbying, I could not meet a drop dead gorgeous woman without the sex ange occupying my mind. After hobbying and having been with many astoundingly beautiful women, I can work with even the most beautiful civvy with ease, even have them come on to me and not get over heated.

But if one does not travel and live in or near New York City, why bother flying over an ocean or going to Canada? NYC is a mecca for providers of all types, some top eiro agencies send ladies to that city for tours and many from Canada do also.

The thread's originator's problem seem to be his nubie reluctance. I was there myself as a 27 year old near virgin. The idea of hitting a woman up in a bar or lying to lay with one was a horrific one to me. I found hobbying and solved my issue. One bit of advice that I would give the thread owner is to use resources like TER and other escort rating sites, the hit and miss route that one follows when not using reviews is way to problematic and can lead to arrest, thelf  or mortal danger. Modern hobbying is worlds safer, with high quality providers easily accessed, than when I started out with phone books and newspaper ads.

for everyone involved, not a relationship. The thread owner may grow comfortable with a provider, but he is well advised to use her services on occasion, but also play the field of other providers that are available. Limit the attachment symdrome that can happen when two people meet for business but have attractions that extend beyond business.

I think I am careful enough not to get attached to providers.

I live in Dallas (DFW) area not anywhere near NYC! Main reason I though about foreign lands / Nevada was the legality issue. Security at work tight and they run me through lie detectors to make sure I am not breaking any law, not sure if I can pass one after hobbying illegally.

Interestingly most first few post suggested I check out foreign lands, FKK, or Neveda. While last couple post suggested just sticking to escorts in the US.

I am still not sure which route is best, travel to foreign land for legal model looking providers? Or just go an illegal local escort and hope I pass my security tests at work?

As I mentioned I am shy around girls. The first time I went to strip club, I almost walked back to my car and drove home! I might take awhile before I can get my guts up to do this with hopefully some advice from you guys!

This thread's gotten me to think.

It's legal to pick up some random, "un-reviewed", potentially STD-carrying stalker babe in a club or bar by bribing her with a free drink and a nod and a wink.

But it's illegal to pick up some researched-and-reviewed-on-TER, non-STD-carrying, demonstrably sane beauty by accepting her offer of compensation.

OK, then...

If you have the really good job you say you do then there should be coverage for those services. Maybe you have a small co-pay. Even so, it sounds like you HAVE made up your mind (1) NOT to see a shrink and (2) to figure out some way to follow through on a TER related course of action.

Because you are still very young, I'd encourage you to wait until you are more certain and more secure about the issues you raised. A shrink might even help you deal with those hurdles you mentioned in your OP so you have a better time with the pay-4-play experience. Googling "sex therapist dallas" turns up MANY hits. Just like you can tell a bait and switch provider to take a hike, you can make clear what you want or don't want ("I want results and I don't want 20 weeks of worthless "talk"!!") and see how it goes. If some shrink promises you one kind of therapy and doesn't deliver, take a hike and find someone else.

And, since you're asking about foreign countries and you DID mention your parents are Asian in your OP, you should know that TER covers Asia, too. Search "All Countries" "All Cities" and then enter Location: Hong Kong, Shanghai, Bangkok, etc.. That won't be complete because reviewers have to enter it manually and, to some, Location means "hotel room", not a city or country. But maybe you'd more comfortable with someone in your ancestral homeland? (Do you speak your ancestral language or just English?)

Some guys just want to see you get laid. Some guys (priests, prudes) want you to be happy w/o getting laid. I hope you can get both: laid AND happy!

I have to second this recommendation, as it was the way I lost my hobby "cherry" a few years ago. Since outcalls are within the law (incalls may be a bit more of a gray zone, since Canada does have "bawdy house" laws), it's great for a newbie not to have to worry about being busted. There are plenty of truly beautiful women available at very reasonable rates. You can do some research on this site, and there are also more local Canadian review sites as well that you should check out. I presume that someone with a high GFE factor would be best for your first time, and I agree that explaining the situation to the provider would be wise. Don't be offended if she ends up recommending another escort for your needs.

Be forewarned, though, that this can truly spoil you. Personally, I'm glad that I struggled through the trials and tribulations of a purely civvie love life before discovering this hobby (although maybe discovering it a few years earlier when I was that much more virile might have been ideal).

If you have lie detector tests at work, you may want to be careful. Maybe going to Canada where some forms of pay for sex is legal will be best for you. On the illegal part, there is some doubt about arrest that dog you and that may show in security tests. You seem better served to take a few days off to travel to legal pay for play. Some of your bosses may be serious provider users, but have learned to lie well or don't have to go through security checks, but their being that won't help you if you fail a test and followup questions pin you down.

In my opinion foreign hobbying is more complicated than here since there are so many price options. Unless you have some locals to guide you I would not advise it for a newbie. I had visited Singapore where hobbying is legal. Sure there are providers offering sex from $10 to $1000. To find the providers like in the US, i.e educated ones, the price was just as high as here . Keep in mind this is not COPS. Nobody cares if you pay for sex. Busting $$$+ escorts falls very low on the priority list for most cops. From what I read you have to be really dumb to fall for the easy traps they set. And the traps they set are nearly always meant for the low-hanging, cheaper providers like street walkers.

-- Modified on 4/25/2011 10:40:45 PM

DFW has non stops to MANY spanish speaking locations where spanglish is helpful. Hasta dude

I'm a european escort ... based primarily in the UK. An Independent Escort but using an Internet Global Provider site (not sure if I can mention specifics on here?).
In europe I would tend to avoid 'brothels' (which are illegal in the UK) but meet with an independent of your choice.
I have written a 'How to' guide for escorts (Amazon, 'Escort Manual' by blacklace gb) but this may give clients indicators and help too.
Have fun !!!

-- Modified on 5/6/2011 6:39:05 AM