My first experience did not go well, I was with a well reviewed provider (9 & 10's). We had drinks at the hotel bar and during our conversation I happened to mention that she was going to be my first review. Well apparently that was a no - no because during our session she brings that topic up and ruins everything. She goes a little nuts and wants to give me half of the donation back. Then for me not write a review because i am messing with her lively hood. Anyway, was I wrong to mention the review.

I am thinking that maybe, just maybe she felt that you were putting pressure on her. Yes, she may have high ratings and very well liked. Who knows?
I normally ask after the experience if it is ok to write a review. Then I go along with her wishes from there. But, that's just me.

for a couple of reasons, including 1. I don't want to have to feel obligated to write one if I don't get around to it.  2.  I don't want the girl thinking about the "review" during the session, 3.  I think it would possibly detract from the session.

I always ask permission too, but usually after I leave. If they say yes, I ask if there is anything they would like me to leave out.

I tried to contact the provider I just reviewed, but she didn't reply to my e-mail, so I assume she didn't care, but I also left one detail out of my review because she did something for me that I considered very intimate and personal (nothing dangerous--don't worry), and if I mentioned it, I'd  be creating an expectation that she'd have to deal with.

after the date is over.  I ask if it is OK to write a review.

My guess is she felt she should treat you differently since you were going to write the review; kind of kissing up to someone.  Reviews should NEVER be used as a tool to get extra benfits--period!

The TER ladies I decide to see obiviously know I'm a member & I fully expect they check out my review history.  I imagine they expect to be reviewed as a result of our date.
BUT I never directly mention reviewing to a lady.  The time of a date is usually not all that great & we want to get into what is happening, not be distracted by ANYTHING.  

[I once had a date with a Fav lady spoiled by a crisis phone call from her sister...  I tried to discretely exit but she pretty much demanded I stay...  Even though she extended the date far beyond the lost time, the mood was broken & it remains our most forgetable date.]

I think perhaps your date misinterpreted your excitement at a first review...  indicated by her statement that "you're messing with her lively hood".  Just like a civie date, it's well not to say anything that might be misinterpreted.  
skb

As previous posts have stated, I never mention writing a review even after the date, if the provider has current reviews on TER, and if I feel like writing a review I just go ahead and do it. The only time I ask, is if she hasn't been reviewed in many months. Then I'll ask after we finish, if she would mind and I usually ask as I'm leaving, so that there's not much of a discussion. I'm simply looking for a yes or no about the review .

i dont think you were wrong to mention it since we still live in the land of free speech.  however, you know realize that it is a hot button topic so you may get some responses you don't like.

Yes you where wrong.  I don't even mention TER when I book with a new lady.

Yes, I have learn my lesson. Since, I did recieve a portion of my donation back. I'm  wondering if I should still write a review. It was a bad experience and I believe other TER members should be aware of it. This is a tough one for newbie. Oh well, think i will let go and move on.

That's a good idea. Just move on. Granted, it may have been a bad experience for you. I would not write a bad review on this experience since, it is very possible that you created the issue. Also, you got a part of your donation back. I hope that you just use it as a learning experience.

(... speaking from my side of fence...)

I've had those experiences and still did the appt and the client held it over my head the whole time together and really fucked with me/played games etc.  Scamming me really and ripping me off in the sense.  I hope the a$$ enjoyed his mind blowing porn experience because they will never have that from me again ever.  No reviews were ever done either.  This happened to me 3 times (once as an indy, and twice while working for a service)  and I still feel stupid for falling for it even if it was 6 plus years ago.  If she screened you right, she already knows you may review her.  Personally won't see anyone who mentions it until we are done.  

Disclaimer: Not at all saying that was what you were doing.  I'm telling you my experience and why I will leave if it's mentioned before or during.