This has happened to me several times and I'm looking for input.  Provider shows up and is not as advertised.  There is a clear resemblance to the photos but in person is "not your type."  How do you politely cancel?  I've never cancelled - I've gone on with the session anyway.  Looking for your ideas - both client and provider - as how to handle.

If in-call i would walk away. If out-call, I would not let them in and say photos were not rea/deceptivel. However you may consider a small donation for time, hopefully alleviating any BSC behavior. And again this is a reason to only see well reviewed providers

I'm reading your post and wondering what you mean,  not as advertised and not your type. And this has happened more than once?  
What is not matching your expectation at the door?  Face?  Hair ?  Height?  Weight?  Size of her Boobs?  Speaks English?  
Have you viewed her website? read her reviews or are you seeing BP girls with no background or clear photos?
I think we can help you if you give more detail.

Are you checking her reviews, complete reviews?  Are you checking her web site?   Are you using an image search to verify the pictures?  
If you don't do proper research, you are seriously rolling the dice.  Are you having outcalls? (where she comes to you)  Outcalls she now knows where you live or can at least find out who you are...  It's preferable to see girls with IN CALLS where you go to her...  If she isn't who you expected, you don't enter the door.  If she's behind he door, you have to decide very quickly if you want to walk away & frankly, that why the fakes do it, because too many will just stay.

as in a bait and switch situation, then you owe her nothing and if it is an incall, just say 'scuse me maam, wrong house.

If it is an outcall, (Which is a bad idea for a first date, for reasons that are obvious now.) then offer something for her time and transportation costs - maybe $100.

If, on the other hand, it is simply a case of changing your mind, you ought to pony up the whole amount if you want to maintain a good rep with gals.  The onus is on you to do your research.

END OF MESSAGE

and any money you do give her is a disservice to the rest of the community. Rewarding bad behavior, by giving her so much as one thin dime, reinforces the idea in her mind that lying to would be tricks is something that she can make a living at.  

If you just aren't "feeling it" but you don't feel deceived or misled, then a couple of bucks for her inconvenience "might" be called for, but if you feel she misled you even slightly "on purpose" then you are screwing over your fellow mongers by giving her so much as a single red cent.

-- Modified on 10/13/2016 10:52:24 PM

I feel like yourself and MrFisher are mostly saying the same thing in different words. He said if it's a B&S, just leave without paying. Agreed. He said if it's because you just "aren't feeling it" cancel and give some cash for time and trouble.  

Well, shit. On a second reading, he said pay full amount. Although that was for "changing your mind", and I still agree with that, if I understand properly how he meant it. If she's done nothing wrong, if the exact woman from the ad showed up on time and isn't trying to change the deal or anything, but you just "changed your mind" I think you pay her. If I schedule with someone and send them away empty handed with literally zero notice, when they've given me no reason to do so, I'd say she would be rewarding my bad behavior if she just let that go without saying anything. Just like I'd be rewarding bad behavior if I were the victim of a B&S and I didn't post it on the board.

I didn't think he was saying to give a hundred bucks to an outcall who B&S'd you because it was in any way "owed" or the right thing to do. I thought he was saying to do that to avoid the trifecta of a woman who is likely BSC, being pissed and also knowing where you live and who you are. So, while I agree she shouldn't get a damn dime and it sucks to give her anything, I also agree it could be wise to pony up a little something because of what she could do, especially to a newbie. Then write a review on her ass. I don't think anyone is saying that's fair or right, just that you pick your battles. Which is why the best advice to come out of this is to not do outcalls, especially to your house, with women you don't know. That, and do your damn research.

Ideally you never reward bad behavior, sure I agree with that. The other side of that coin is you don't have to be a dick every time you have an opportunity to do so. Happily, none of these issues have ever come up for me. I may feel differently if/when it does.

If you say you left your 'wallet in the car' she knows! There is absolutely no sense in contacting her after that...with another lie or the truth. You are considered a no-show now. Reason doesn't matter any more.

It depends on how you want to leave things and what kind of person you are.

You are on the hook for booking a block of time, in which more serious callers may have wanted to book, and were turned down, for your appointment. She is out money and transportation costs. The girls' gotta eat.

If I order a filet mignon and the waiter tries to pass off a meat loaf I have ZERO obligation to accept it even though the restaurant is out the cost of preparing it.  

If a women represents herself as a 22 year old size zero spinner and a 35 year old size 8 shows up at my doorstep I have ZERO obligation to accept her either.  

The OP didn't say anything about not being "serious" about the date, those are your words, not his. Now if she is exactly as advertised, but he just 'isn't feeling it" for reasons of his own, now THAT is a different story, but I will never give a hooker who tries to first mislead me and secondly to guilt me out of my money a single red cent and I strongly advise other mongers to do the same.

You are absolutely right about her being out her time, any transportation costs or any other ancillary costs of getting ready for the date. A lot of hookers know that many/most guys will go through with the date even if they show up looking nothing like advertised, which gives them no reason to stop lying about their looks. If all the guys would grow a pair and start turning away these deceptive hookers at the door, it would take away the profit motive and these women would have no choice but to clean up their act.

He said ' Provider shows up and is not as advertised.  There is a clear resemblance to the photos but in person is "not your type."  ' If she advertised that she was 'his type' then maybe she could be considered 'not as advertised'. (unless there is a hobbyist code here that I don't understand).  
    He didn''t say bait and switch. So she's not that ... or meatloaf.
    I never said he said 'not serious'. I, me, I used that word. (just like you I was interjecting my own view, from my own perspective).  If he keeps making the same mistakes and is on here looking for a proper way to 'politely decline' a girl that shows up and is not his type (whilst he continues to make the same mistakes, obviously or it wouldn't happen so often. "Several times" he said) then he is starting to seem like he is heading in that direction. If he can come up with a way to decline a girl he has booked time with, then he will see it as a very viable option in the future. And will start flaking at the first sign of not 'feeling it' because she's 'not his type'.

Also, when so many people do not read thoroughly the ads or do not have a complete understanding of the girls message (no matter how she tries to make it understandable to everyone), then anyone can be 'not as advertised'. Sometimes words have two meanings. If it is based on stats only then he may have a point. But he said 'she was not his type'. That could mean anything. He said there was a 'clear resemblance'' to her photos. But, again, maybe I'm missing some hobbyist code here.
  PSA are always appreciated, I'm sure, but I don't think this is about that.

Anyways, I just thought a short post would be good enough. (I have a view from the other side, when guys use excuses of their experiences with not so ideal situations, to impose/project onto me, when they have never met me... and didn't see the need to totally explain it) But I guess not everybody is into short posts. Lesson learned.