Whenever I have an appointment to visit a provider, I always account for more traffic/getting lost, etc and always end up getting there very early. My philosophy is I hate being late and like some time to regroup before my meeting anyway. But if I am over 30 minutes early, am not sure what to do about parking. If she is in a big hotel, I figure it's a big parking lot so I can just park there and stay in the car. If it is an apartment or smaller hotel, I try to find a nearby shopping center and park, then wait awhile then drive there. Any recommendations?
Another scenario question: If we agree to meet at 2:00 and she is staying in a hotel and I text her when I arrive and she'll reply with her room number, is it rude to text her at about 1:50 to let her know I am there? Or should I wait some? My philosophy is 10 minutes is no big deal and it may take me 5 minutes to get to the room anyway.
Any other suggestions or am I just over-thinking this?
I let them up. If I have to finish getting ready I get them a drink n give em remote bc ID rather they wait in room then in a parking lot somewhere. But every girl is different and some might have an appointment before you. Maybe mention when you confirm that you might be early, and see how she feels about it.
I agree with Jamie's points. If you think you will be a lot early (more than 10 minutes) you should ask your date how she would handle that.
DO NOT "hang around" the area. Even if it is a big hotel, sitting in your car for 20+ minutes is a red flag. If the hotel has a bar, going in and getting a soda is ok...but sitting there checking your watch/phone every 3 minutes is also a red flag. Parking at a nearby mall is a better idea. Basically, anything that "blends in" is ok...anything that "stands out" as unusual behavior is bad.
If you have not talked with her about arriving early you should wait until about 10 minutes before to call/text. My experience / habit has been to call or text (as she directs) about an hour before hand to let her know I am on my way. And then to contact again around 10 minutes till.
Best of luck!
JB
DO NOT "hang around" the area. Even if it is a big hotel, sitting in your car for 20+ minutes is a red flag. If the hotel has a bar, going in and getting a soda is ok...but sitting there checking your watch/phone every 3 minutes is also a red flag. Parking at a nearby mall is a better idea. Basically, anything that "blends in" is ok...anything that "stands out" as unusual behavior is bad. ...
I usually find somewhere near by, like a Starbucks, and hang out until a couple minutes before our time and then I text her and let her know I am waiting and can be at the hotel in a couple of minutes.
When I say 2, I will be ready at 2...not before, not after. There have been cases where I was generally ready early and allowed the guy in, but I do not make a habit of doing that. The 2 hours before a date is my "Prepare myself mentally and physically time" and I don't need anyone showing up, riding around the area, looking like an idiot and drawing attention. If you are there only 10 min. ahead of time, text her for the room number, and see if she says to come on up or wait. You might be told to wait, which again, is not a good thing for you. It leaves you either sitting in your car or in the lobby.
I would never allow a guy to be in my room whilst getting ready either...can't do it. I don't need to worry about what stuff he might be fiddling around with and what he is doing, and I generally entertain in large houses/condos vs. a hotel.
-- Modified on 8/6/2013 1:29:12 PM
I find this quandary of the tougher issues to deal with. I dont want to arrive late and use up my time that way. But if I get there early I hate the "sitting around" feeling. I agree with the earlier posters who said dont hang around, go to a starbucks or something. It used to make me really nervous to have to wait. Now, it is just no different from "waiting" while driving there. Still, no single good answer.
If you are early and not sure what to do the best thing is just wait nearby, don't be obvious, and come in when it's time for the appt. you drove there early so good for you in avoiding unforeseen traffic etc but then you wait. Easy as that.
I also do outcall ... And when this happens to me I park somewhere nearby like others have said (public place like gas station or mall) then about 3 min before I drive to the outcall.
This is for the original poster: I understand you want to make sure you don't waste your time with the provider by being 5 min late but honestly if the time starts exactly on the dot whether you are there or not then that's ridiculous. That said if you are 15 min late or more than that may be a different story but 5 min is not a big deal.
[b]Short Answer:[/b] I'll arrive at the hotel to make sure I'm there on time and no parking surprises. If its ten or fifteen minutes, will wait it out in the car. Any longer, will go run a quick errand or stop at 7-11 and get some gum or water. If a full half hour or more, will text asking if she wants to move-up the date. Will not wait in the parking lot or hotel/hotel lobby. Too suspicious.
[b]Long Answer:[/b]
In the DC metropolitan area, its a major problem IMHO. You can easily be half an hour early or half an hour late depending on where you're going - especially Tyson's or Rockville.
One provider I know is always 'exactly' on time or late. Still kind of annoys me sometimes based on the 'my time' vs 'your time'. If I'm on the clock at 2:00 p.m...you're on the clock at 2:00 p.m. Not when you text me at 2:05 to tell me to come on up and its a five minute elevator ride and walk to your room.
Pet peeve aside, I was super early for one provider and texted to ask if we could move the time-up, which she was more than happy to because of a cancellation.
Depending on the hotel, you can hang out in the lobby surfing your smartphone for ten to fifteen minutes if its a touristy area and lots of people hanging out in the lobby at the lunch hour or late afternoon - basically people waiting for other people for lunch or dinner plans.
Seems like it is hotel and provider dependent to me. I've travelled a lot on business, so I guess its also on your comfort level. I look like a businessman killing time or escaping a meeting versus a nervous monger waiting for a date.
I won't meet with someone that calls attention to me or themselves, which sitting in the lobby would!
When I do outcalls, I go somewhere else until he is ready for me.
[b]Long Answer:[/b]
In the DC metropolitan area, its a major problem IMHO. You can easily be half an hour early or half an hour late depending on where you're going - especially Tyson's or Rockville.
One provider I know is always 'exactly' on time or late. Still kind of annoys me sometimes based on the 'my time' vs 'your time'. If I'm on the clock at 2:00 p.m...you're on the clock at 2:00 p.m. Not when you text me at 2:05 to tell me to come on up and its a five minute elevator ride and walk to your room.
Pet peeve aside, I was super early for one provider and texted to ask if we could move the time-up, which she was more than happy to because of a cancellation.
Depending on the hotel, you can hang out in the lobby surfing your smartphone for ten to fifteen minutes if its a touristy area and lots of people hanging out in the lobby at the lunch hour or late afternoon - basically people waiting for other people for lunch or dinner plans.
Seems like it is hotel and provider dependent to me. I've travelled a lot on business, so I guess its also on your comfort level. I look like a businessman killing time or escaping a meeting versus a nervous monger waiting for a date.
I can also tell you, from working for 3+ years at two different national hotel chains -- we all know there's prostitution happening in the rooms. And no one cares unless it causes OTHER problems. If you're fucking so loudly that it bothers the people next door? Sure, then we cared.
If you're also selling drugs in the parking lot, sure, then we cared.
But if there's just a few unobtrusive guys in and out of your room all day? At least at the places I worked, no one gives a shit.
Maybe where you are from.... in my city doing that at a big hotel will get you noticed and then some.
So I do not agree at all with sitting in the Lobby.
I will agree that you worked in two hotel chains and they didn't care unless there was problems, but many cities beyond my own.... would have issues. Better to be safe than sorry. Know your area and what is ok and what is not, pretty much.
So in reality there is not a straight answer for it, however, do not drag unnecessary attention if it is a hotel or doorman building because you are probably on camera, stay in your car and text/ call the provider and see if she is ready, some of us go to school and or have other personal activities so we are ready just at the time we agreed on,just be discreet and respectful to the surroundings. I am sure if the lady is ready to see you she will let you know or ask you to come in X minutes. If you have a GPS or Iphone, both do take into consideration accidents and/or traffic so you will know pretty much exactly when you will arrive to your date.
Kisses,
Paloma M.
public transportation in the city & driving on sometimes jammed up roads in the burbs. So I will frequently simply ask the provider by e-mail or text if it's OK to contact her if I'm early. If she says yes then problem solved. I've never had a harsh reaction from a provider to such a question. IF I'm early and she has agreed I'll call/text and sometimes it's fine, come on up, or give me 5 minutes, I'll call you back. But the key s to ask in advance. If she says no I'll wait until a couple of minutes before to contact her
5 or 10 minutes till the appointed time, lots of times they say "Call me back in 10 minutes. I need more time to get ready for you." So off I go to kill some time until date time + 10. Maybe a women's clock is habitually 10 minutes slow?
after a weather emergency wrecked my chance at a meeting... I called, cancelled & was fortunate enough to rebook a couple of days later.
I locate the call point & then withdraw to the corner coffee. I'll judge how long it will take to return, typically in sight or nearly... on repeat appts, I'll often call from the coffee shop parking with my car turned around & ready to go. I DO tell her that I'm not outside yet as ONCE a gal said, matter of factly "I can't see you!" as she was watching from her window.
I had another give me turn by turn directions... ended up on the same block headed in the opposite direction... she observed my vehicle & parking.
Yet another gave me a house number which I could not find... a number between the 2 odd numbers. I got out of my car as she emerged behind me, from the other side of the street & walked me in.
gentleman to be on time. I want to be prepared, not rushing around and in my "space" for the appointment. Sounds like you handle it well, parking away from the incall as long as your safe. It's easy to overthink in this arena 
I arrived to my appointment today about 15 minutes early. I parked the car, and to kill time, I used my phone to read up on the discussion boards at TER and go to this thread. I immediately turned off my phone and headed over to the Best Buy for 10 minutes, then called my date from outside the store at 5 minutes prior to the appointment.
Thanks TER members for the timely advice.
BTW - my date went well, in case you were wondering.
Me, no fun.
Which is why I specifically address the issue on my website. Now guess how many actually read it.
That has happened to me a lot! when a gent is early he usually texts me to let me know he's running early...if i'm ready i will tell him to come over....if not i tell him to wait for my text! now 5-10 is usually not a problem as i like to be on time also...
I'm new to all this. For life in general I've always gone by the following: To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be left behind.
I have quickly learned this doesn't work for Hobbying! Showing up too early & waiting makes me nervous...which can lead to a poor experience. I've never showed up late. However...I have yet to have an appointment with a Provider start on time. They apparently are always "running late, need 15 minutes". Or more. While initially frustrating...I'm adjusting.
Here is how I handle this situation and never had any problems.
I get to the incall location about 10 minutes early and do a quick lap around the hotel in my car searching for possible LE. If there is a cop car there, I'm outta there! If all is good, I park somewhere discreet and send her a text that usually goes like this:
Me: This is Chuck. I am here.
Provider: Hey babe, I need 10 more minutes.
Me: Take your time. I can wait patiently.
10-12 minutes later:
Provider: Rm 416 come on up.
Me: On my way
I then recount the donation in the envelope real quick to make sure it is correct. Then I walk calmly through the lobby like I belong there and get on the elevator. DO NOT HAVE THE DONATION ENVELOPE IN YOUR HAND. PUT IT IN YOUR SPORT JACKET SIDE POCKET. DO NOT TAKE IT OUT UNTIL YOU ARE IN THE PROVIDERS ROOM AND THE DOOR IS SHUT!!!!
Enjoy your date!