Thanks to TER, I've set up my 1st time within a week or two.  I've learned a number of things I might have had to guess at, such as making the donation itself.  From what I've read, when you visit her for an incall, you don't actually mention it or hand it directly to her.  You come in and then place it on a nearby table, in a plain, unsealed, open envelope.  Then you use the bathroom to wash up or even shower if she wants that, and presumably she checks it and stows it away.  Good method.

  I've found a great, well-reviewed provider on TER who will see me without references, but only if our first meeting is a four-hour lunch/dinner date.  We'll meet at a restaurant, then take a taxi to her place (I'm visiting the city and won't be driving).  I'm asking TER what to do about the donation, but I think I can make some safe assumptions.  I assume I still won't mention the donation or try to give it to her at the restaurant, or even take it out of my pocket for any reason.  I also assume I'll be completely paying for the meal and taxi ride to her place, out of my wallet (which I'm fine with).  She'll assume I know the proper donation she listed on her website (I do) and trust that when we get to her place, she'll be receiving it as mentioned above.  Does all this sound about right?  Thanks.

-- Modified on 5/9/2012 7:29:02 AM

Especially if you guys are meeting at the restaurant first and she knows it and she is cool with it. It should be a mutual understanding.

seems a little strange.  Is she expecting you to pay her hourly rate for the four-hour dinner date plus another hour of fun after the dinner date, or is she only expecting you to pay for one hour?  I'd make sure I knew that.  If you are paying her rate for 5 hours for one hour of fun, that's a little much.  I can't imagine that she will want to do the four-hour date for free either tho.  

I could understand meeting for an hour dinner date and then off to the room, but four hours - that's a LONG time to spend with someone you don't know.  I'd make sure I got some clarification on that.

Good luck & have fun!!

seems a little strange to me as well. She'll waive screening but you have to see her for 4 hours.  And by the way you pick up all the other expenses, dinner, cab, tips, etc. Normally business is done at the beginning of the date, even in public. It allows the provider to relax and know she's being compensated.  

On a public date, bring a little gift, lingerie from VS or candles have them gift wrapped. Get a gift card and put the donation in the gift card envelop.  Like a normal civi date arrive at the restaurant before she does. You can gve  her the gift box after the hostess seats you at your table. If she's experienced she'll know the donation is in the gift card envelop.  Everyone around you will think it's just a bf giving a gift to a gf. Easy peasy.

Now back to the quid pro quo, I think it's a little steep no matter what the donation amount. I suggest you join P411, look for provider friendly escorts. Good luck.

and he's worried about washing his hands and the envelope? your priorities are way out of whack..the mandatory 4 hour date with no references seem to be too..

Just asking because sometimes a "well reviewed" provider doesn't mean all the reviews are good ones.

I would just hate to see you give the donation and she's on her way out the door before you've even had a chance to order your meal.

I gotta chime in on this one too.

Four hours is a high price to pay just to be seen without references.  You can do much better if you will invest a little time in research.  Don't get desperate.  Think with the top head.

hiddenhills was 100% on target with his advice. "On a public date, bring a little gift, lingerie from VS or candles have them gift wrapped. Get a gift card and put the donation in the gift card envelop.  Like a normal civi date arrive at the restaurant before she does. You can gve  her the gift box after the hostess seats you at your table. If she's experienced she'll know the donation is in the gift card envelop.  Everyone around you will think it's just a bf giving a gift to a gf. Easy peasy.

Now back to the quid pro quo, I think it's a little steep no matter what the donation amount. I suggest you join P411, look for provider friendly escorts. Good luck."

I'll say it again so you understand how important it is, and I think I'll even be a little loud.  "JOIN P411 AND LOOK FOR NEWBIE FRIENDLY ESCORTS!!!".

IMO a four hour first date is not newbie friendly.  Sounds to me like she is taking advantage of you.

they can steal it from you....just an odd thought all the way around. It's not like she has to walk alone back to a dark alley with it, so that's up to you two. Personally, it's pay for play...not after an hour or two has alreay gone by. That would very much put me off especially from someone new. I would never agree to that, but I guess she is getting a nice sum so she may not care when she gets it. Bravo lol.

Just another FYI, don't eat too much before you head back to have sex. I never do dinner before and if you are nervous, it's only going to make it worse lol. I don't want to get graphic, but "shit happens" bwahahaha. You sound like a sweet guy, so I hope it works out. She is a good marketer too demanding a 4 hour if you don't have refs. Hmm, I am going to try that!

Please don't try that. Personally, I think this escort is taking advantage of a newbie and milking him dry. I have too much respect for you to believe that you would ever seriously consider doing anything like that.

It sounds like some people misunderstood your 4-hour date description. I doubt anyone would sit in a restaurant for 4 hours... That's absurd. I'm sure what she means (and you wrote) is that the date will last for 4 hours, including dinner and private time too. 80% of my first dates are dinner or cocktail dates, and yes, they start in a public place. Women choose to do that for various reasons, in your case she seems to use the dinner portion of the date as additional screening time, and I'm sure she feels much safer meeting you in a restaurant than in public, which is reasonable, considering your lack of references.

On my dates, I always receive the donation in an envelope or gift bag within 10 minutes of meeting. Sometimes it says "Happy Birthday" or my name or "Thanks!" on the outside of the envelope. I prefer to get the donation out of the way, so I can spend the rest of the date relaxed, without having to think about the "business" part of the equation. After sharing some drinks or a nice meal, we head back to my hotel, and sometimes I choose to drive, sometimes we catch a cab. Generally on a cocktail date we will spend an hour having drinks and another 2-3 hours in private. On a dinner date, dinner will take 1-2 hours, and we spend another 3-4 hours in private. I'm sure your dinner date will be similar: perhaps 1-2 hours in public, then you will head back to her place 2-3 more hours of fun.

A few bits of advice:
- This is common sense, but dress for the occasion and if you feel that she may not be aware of the restaurant's dress code, let her know. Where I live, it is really easy to pick out the "odd couples" in certain areas, because some guys and gals don't understand what to wear to not draw attention. Most providers are great, just make sure yours doesn't show up in a minid dress with cleavage down to her belly button and f-me heels, and you should also avoid the OG Pimp look if possible...
- Your first date with a provider is probably not the best night to have a 12 oz. steak... Try to keep it light: having a lot of food in your stomach doesn't make for a great "afterparty".
- Unless both of you find the aroma of garlic and onions emitted from your partner's mouth intoxicating (this should be confirmed before placing your orders!) it is best to avoid dishes that have those spices.
-If you are going to have beans, lentils, scallions, carbonated sodas, or anything else that may give you gas, you better take your Beano with you... lol
- Sharing a few drinks is great, as long as you can both handle it. Look out for both of you and make sure you are both in a fully capable state... Everything is more fun when you have full control of your body and all your senses are not dulled by anything.
- A good escort can make you feel like you are on a "real life date" with a woman who really, really cares about you. It is her job. You should use this as your "me time" and enjoy the attention. Resist the temptation to turn it around and start prying about her personal life, because she is most likely not in a position to share a lot of the details. If she seems to avoid certain subjects, take that as your clue that you've stepped into murky waters.
- If for some reason you feel that the chemistry is off and the date is not going well, there is no physical attraction and you can't see yourself going through with the rest of the date, speak up. Most reputable ladies will work with you on this and will give you a reasonable refund and let you be on your way. Not everyone is a match.
- If all is well, when you get back to the hotel room, do your happy dance. SCOOORE! lol

I hope you enjoy your first time!

Thank you all for your responses.  Nora DiAngelo especially had some good advice.  I found this provider almost by accident, by checking the Top 100 and searching for her city (where I'm visiting, so we're going to her apartment).  I have VIP access and have read all 30+ reviews in her profile.  Besides all the raves about her beauty, charm, and skill, no one said anything about being cheated out of money.  If it happens, you'll hear about it.  The four-hour dinner date, which has been described in reviews, starts at a restaurant but ends with 2-3 hours of privacy.  And it seems very reasonably priced compared to what I've seen other high-quality providers charge.

I hear the people who say she should get the money early on, in the restaurant.  I never even considered that she'd Cash and Dash.  My concern is the money is now in her purse or a gift bag, which is then stolen while we're still in the restaurant.  There's always a small chance of this, especially if we're focused on each other.  I won't even keep the money in the backpack I'll be toting around (which I asked about, and she's fine with it).  I planned to keep it in my pants pocket and not worry that the Artful Dodger will make me his next victim.  I suppose in my next e-mail to her, I should ask if she wants me to bring her a gift when we meet at the restaurant.  Otherwise, I'll wait until we reach her apartment.

If she I doing this, I wouldn't see her due on the lack of character on her part.
I don't hang out with folks that take advantage of others no matter whom they are....period!

I simply won't see him period. NO public meeting or any amount of money is going to prove he is not a cop or psycho.