Of course you don't want your wife be surprised by some STD symptoms happened to her. How long after you seeing a provider will you have sex with your wife? Do you wait until your STD test comes negative

I haven't had sex with my wife in over 12 years.. No worries

My wife and I have not had sex in over two years. That is why I see a provider.

Gee this is a fun discussion.  I wonder how many hobbyists' wives closed up shop as a result of menopause versus something else?

my wife and i have sex once every two months. Every time she is so lazy and just lays on the bed. we talked about this hundreds of times, nothing changed. As a man of 35, I'm not happy with this.  
If it takes that long to get a STD test, how should i manage this

that sucks (from the perspective of marriage). but since when?  

It was two years for me. I never, ever thought I'd go that long. For many years the longest was two days. I never thought I'd see another woman.

Make me feel fortunate that I have been divorced for 15 years!

it is NOT because of hobbying as the moralists would claim. I hate the idea of divorce but the alternative might be worse. I'm only hobbying because I've been shut out at home. Tried plenty of talking but seems that for a certain type of woman when her hormones turn off she's done with you except for paying the bills and taking out the trash. With a divorce I'll still be paying the bills (!!) but at least I won't have to take out quite so much trash....

By not indulging in Kissing, BBBJ, or DATY, but realistically why wait 2 months for the test to come back if you used a condom?

how she had children.  I missed the warning signs before we married...  but she's never had sexual desire.  She was fine with annual sex...  then she shut that off too.  I don't do this often but if I didn't I'd get no sex at all.
Sadly, I think this is very common.

I don't see a divorce in my furtureunless my wife found out why we always have less money than we should... I'm notwilling to give up half of everything frankly.. I'd much rather be a little broke than very broke.. It's only about money now.. nothing else..

some of the symptoms take a couple of weeks to appear.  

sad sad sad.  

There's really no way to be 100% sure, dude. If you're exposed to something, you can transmit it to others before it has a chance to show up on an STD test. There's no definitive answer to your question.  

I hear you all.  I am going on 8 months, and it wasn't that frequent for the prior 2 years.  This coincided with her apparent depression and approaching menopause (not quite there yet).  Actually I'm pretty sure my wife has another life somehow - as in another sex life.  Too expensive to divorce, although that might be the best thing.  Time to move on, live in the moment and take care of myself.  That's why I'm here!

depressed, and only admitted that she had gone through menopause at the end of the ride.  It really fucked with my head because it seemed obvious to me at the time.  And like you, I wondered if she had another sex life since we had none at home, but now I'm pretty sure that she just has no interest.  She says that she's dried up and doc suggested hormones but she does not want the associated risk (I know that I have to respect her judgment on the risk).  We have a ton of lubricants lying around unused, so that ain't the whole story.  I dunno.  Good luck on your journey.

with that slogan, except it sets the bar kind of high these days.  What a club!

I hadn't visited this message board in a while, and I'm glad I read the comments in this thread today.

If I were getting it at home - or even thought I might sometime in the future get it at home - I wouldn't be getting it here.  Best s*x I ever had was with my wife.  The professionals do have a skill set that my wife does not (such as PC muscle control, DT etc..) , but, honestly, I would trade it in a millisecond for a few good hours with her.  I have however, had to come to terms with the fact that it ain't gonna happen and that, like it or not, I get miserable if I don't pound the sheets with a woman on a semi regular basis - in my case about every 4-6 weeks or so.  I am NOT proud of it and I don't think of it as an excuse.  The only thing I can say is that it is better for me than having an affair.

After my wife was diagnosed with cancer about 7 years ago we stopped. For the first few years going thru all the medical procedures and chemo we did not think of any sex. We than realized  it's over we just cuddle kiss and hold each other now. We both know are love is real and are there for each other.

We got married 25 years ago...  she was 45.  There are lots of hot women her age. I wondered how much of the reluctance was her Catholic upbringing.  I wondered how she managed to have children.  
At the time we got together, she'd been a widow for 6 years.  She stated that she could take it or leave it (sex)...  & had not had sex or masturbated in that time.  There were young children involved, I just figured no opportunity.  What it really meant was no sex drive.  I stupidly did not recognize it.  There was some sexual interest during courtship...  the initial hormone surge.
We got married...  still had her children in the house & had to be married before I could move in.  The son was fine...  daughter was too...  until we broached the marriage idea.  Daughter tried to break us up.  Gave us no privacy.  Her room was against ours & announced she could hear all we said or did...  so we couldn't have sex except an annual get away.  Wife promised it wouldn't always be like that.  It wasn't.  The sex stopped totally.  
After 20 years of this marriage, I realized there were experiences I wanted to have, and never would...  unless I looked elsewhere.  It was a big step.  But I did.

And a little known fact to guys is that women also have testosterone hormones although WAY less then men. Many women swear by taking minute amounts of testosterone their sex drive comes back.

There is info on the internet about it if you look.  

Steph

Reading this made me feel so much less alone