How do you find the time to hobby? I'm always looking for new ideas, particularly ones that will help me get away in the evenings when more providers would prefer to meet.
You can say you're going to work out.
Swim
That's my patented excuse. Problem is I work out in the morning. Regular evening workouts don't fly 'cuz I have young kids at home to deal with.
Sorry I could not think of anything else. I'm single and don't need to find excuses. Good luck.
Swim
I drop one of my kids off at the bus stop and head straight to an early morning breakfast appointment with a provider that knows my schedule and is "happy" to meet with me at 7:30am. I can usually make it to the office by 9:45. It helps that I am my own boss so that I don't have to give anybody an excuse. Not sure what your situatuion is, but there must be a way to "get off" an hour or so once a month for some important reason. I would have never thought that early morning romps would be so much fun. Along the way I have found many advantadges to early morning playtime. First, I'm freshly showered and don't need to waste any time gettting down to business. Second, I'm her first appointment of the day. Next, it has become very erotic to awaken our sexual energies together in the morning. I don't have the stress or tension of the day weighing on my shoulders that early in the morning. Last but not least, I don't return home until many hours later so I don't bring any home feelings of anxiety that she may detect what I was up to. I'm home my regular time and ready to help out at home and spend time with the wife and kids.
All that being said, I love evening appointments when I'm travelling and have more time.
If they require you to make up the time, then stay and work late some night, and tell the wife that you have a big assignment and have to work late the night you are there.
If she calls and checks on you, you'll be there and it will all sound legit.
One problem with this is you can't pull it off more than a few times a year without the boss getting suspicious.
Doing quickies during lunch time might be another way however.
Tell the office you're going out for a "box" lunch. 8o)
Hmm... Good idea but it'll never work.
My latest plan: inexpensive concerts in the city that I know my wife will hate. Worked well once with a second one on deck. Conveniently, recently an out of town friend who was staying in the city wanted to get together. After I dropped him off I went and hit it with a lady. Good thing I have a couple work conferences coming up too.
I need other good ones too so send 'em if you got 'em.
activities.
A gym would make no sense for me as I have physical limitations. On the other hand, I might spend considerable time at a hobby shop, home store, hardware store or some such. I will sometimes have a purchase (was in my car trunck for a couple of days). Are there places with while you wait car services? I have devoluped some hobbies that she generally does not participate in...
It helps to learn to not be defensive & explain too much of where you've been.
My wife has her own activities & I can leave or return while she's gone... never knows just how long I was out. I love when the wife spends the weekend at her sister's...
I like late mornings or early afternoons... home by dinner time.
NEVER use a buddy for an alibi... just don't.
Ok, yes, be sure to wash your face, hands & privates before ariving home... you can do it at her incall or a coffee shop bathroom. Women can smell sex from accross the room... sometimes they don't recognize it but it still sets them on edge.
Some guys can only hobby on business trips or her (sister) trips or other rare occasions. You've got to keep control of yourself & not take unnecessary risks. This is all good...
Also learn how to not leave tracks...
skb
Good advice about leaving buddies out. I get tempted every now and then to brag to someone or involve them in a scheme but then think better of it. My personal motto regarding hobbying is 'take it to your grave' so that no one knows.
I agree with covering your tracks well but I also have a few hidden pornos I've made with a few providers. If she ever discovers that I'm sure it'll quickly result in my homicide.
Short and sweet alibis are best. I spend a lot of time 'on Facebook and playing Angry Birds' when I use the smartphone so much.
If she ever catches me hoarding cash I can claim it's from a gambling problem. But then the hobbying ends and I'm not sure I can live with that.
Strangely, because I work in a surgical environment, if I were to get AIDS (perish the thought) I could always tell the Mrs. It was from a needlestick. But on the other hand if I ever bring home a plain old STD, I'm toast.
... and instead of going to the evening dinner, industry event, workshop, etc. go see your local favorite at her place.
extended lunch. Playtime is either before or after lunch with the guys. Sometimes I just "have to travel" for my part-time gig.
The sad truth is you're screwed. ANYTHING that breaks your normal routine will peak your SO's interest - be it all of a sudden joining a gym, joining a club/association, etc...
Any intelligent girl will start to wonder why, out of the clear blue sky, you started doing something at night. And once her interested is peaked, it's over. She can bust you 100 different ways.
Successful mongering means fitting this hobby into a current routine. You can go ahead and start something brand new at night....but it's a ticking clock. Sorry.
You're absolutely right. I have to make sure my concert frequency is no more than a few times a year.
This is the ONLY place we can talk about the hobby... Absolutely, it goes to the grave with me!
The idea of hobbying is to be flexible to take advantage of opportunities... but to be in control if the opportunities don't materialize. Keep the big head in control at all times. I've had plans I was making fall through... everything went to crap & I just had to call it off. Save the money & wait for another opportunity to come along.
Speaking of money... I increased my pocket cash some time ago. I take the same amount of every check. But my actual expendatures (no accounting) but there is money left when the next check comes in. I have a stash place besides my sock drawer for excess funds. No ATM W/Ds to match up with play time. And I limit my extendatures to what discretionary spending I have. Never play with the Rent Money, groceries, etc.
skb
That's what I use. I send him an email that morning: "Hey, buddy, let's grab a beer after work." He already knows what that means and he responds with a similarly innocent-sounding email. He's now my alibi if I need one, and I have an email trail to prove it. I've never had to use it, but I like knowing it's there if I need it. And I return the favor whenever he needs a good cover story for his extracurricular activities.
may I make a suggestion? Dont know if this makes sense as I do not have this issue of course but I do like to think I am a fairly intellegent although horrible speller. LOL
if you do try to add one of these extra things in ur life to cover your hobby appointment like going to work early and getting an AM appointment which I am sure I am not the only provider who does this.
Or anything that could possibly fit into a daily, weekly, monthly routine. Joining a club, or gym, or business group.
Dont let the first time you do it be for your hobby, idk "break her in" so to say so that if she is suspicious and wants to check up on you then your completely legit. Usually after the first time using said excuse then she wouldnt probablly check up on you again if its a good legit reason.
I would think that something that could cover a weekly or biweekly timeframe would be best because then that opens your windows to make an appintment with your provider. So make it something that you enjoy and are into so when you go to your legit meetings your not banging your head against the wall or skipping them because you dont really want to go and then she gets suspicious.
Also I dont know about other ladys but I have had requests from men not to wear parfume or scented lotions. You can wash off your skin but what about your clothes? The first thing I like to do when a guy walks thru the door is give him a big hug and a kiss to welcome him.
It really depends on your wife. You know her intellegnce level, is she a very trusting person or is she an inquisative person. Does she notice if you have moved something in the house? Or does it go unoticed. I used to drive my daughter nuts when she lived at home with me. She would have something out of place when I got home and I would know, or one time she was fooling around with a boy in her room.... when I walked in they were wtaching tv.... but i looked at her and said it smells like sex... LOL talk about being blunt... I was right by the way all though it didnt go that far. Her sister ratted her out.
Anyways they are right about your actions... it may be something you DO that peeks her eyebrows. If you act out of the norm, act guilty or like your trying to cover your ass about something. She will know somethings up. Neves can do this so you need to be relaxed and act like its no big deal and treat her the same way as you always would.
Be alert, be careful, be safe.
my 2 cents
xoxo
Cherry
I have joined a few meetups for my photography hobby and I tell the SO thats where I am going. Either that or I just tell her I am going for a massage.
Between Masonry, the rites and Shrine events you have an excuse to be out almost every night. Blue lodge meetings are usually bi-monthly so you have 2 excuses a month right there.