If I get a tip, I only want it to be because I EARNED it. I am not giving a GOOD reference just because you pay me $20....  
You have to earn the good reference...

If you did this, it would seem tacky and it would not affect the way I referred you...

If a provider is reference friendly and if you were a gentleman, and had good hygiene and the proper donation and left on time, she should give you a reference.

If you wnat to tip a provider for her service, that is up to you. There are hundreds of threads on tipping on this board if you do a search. All reputable providers will say that tipping is appreciated but never expected.

Those are two seperate things. What you are talking about is buying a reference, or bribing for a reference. Would you slip your former employers a 20 to give you a reference for your next job? Would you slip your landlord a 20 to give you a reference for a future rental? This is beyond tacky!

On another note, if you are going to tip a lady for her service, $20 is not much of a tip, depending on the lady`s rates. For example if you saw a $100 blow and go girl, then $20 is a 20% tip which is pretty good, but if you are paying a lady 600 for a session and you throw her a $20 tip that could be taken as an insult. You are better off leaving no tip in that case.

...that they may list me as a reference.  I either tell them when they are dressing after our date, or in a thank you e-mail.  I simply tell them, that while I truly enjoyed our time together, and would love to visit with you in the future, should you choose to visit with another lady, please know that you may list me as a reference.  Run on sentence; my apologies.

   Many gentlemen seem to think that asking for a reference is "cheating", so I let them know upfront, that it is not.

   I also tell them, to please have the lady contact me via e-mail.  I need to know it's not their wife calling-lol.

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly