My guess is that you have not done enough research to find out if the providers you are seeing are color-blind.  Many ladies out there have no problems seeing men of color.

I do agree with your comment about the ones being honest enough to come out and say they do not see black men.  I'm sure that saves you guys a lot of trouble, knowing ahead of time.  IMHO, all providers that do not want to see men of color should have that on their websites.

I hope some ladies will add their comments to this thread.

Happy hobbying,
Swim

Ok recently I have noticed a few providers I was interested in meeting advertise specifically "NO BLACK MEN". Don't get me wrong there are more than enough providers out there that do not advertise this way and that I can meet. I didnt think anything of it beside, move on to the next provider and at least she is honest enough to say that in her ad. Yet still I think that more providers need to advertise this way if it is a problem.

When I first started out as a hobbyist I used to get stiffed quite a bit. This is where the provider I select agrees to meet me and either lets me drive all the way to her incall and doesn't answer the door or my second call in a 2 call system. Either that or she lets me give her the donation then says she doesn't really do black men but she will I just have to hurry or tells me I'm too big or is standoffish. I though my days of this were finished until it happened again recently. I showed up to incall where I have to drive a nice distance to get to and got to the door, heard her walk up to the door and look through the peephole then NOTHING. I'm convinced its another problem with men of color.

What is the deal my fellow hobbyists? Any providers have a perspective about this?

Unfortunately,there are ladies who will not see african-american men and other nationalities but african-american men are more commonly denied than others.I have heard about this many many times it happens a lot more than people actually hear about.I have spoke with men of color who this has happened to and they were so discouraged.
I have spoke with ladies who do not see men of color they have an array of reasons for not doing so which is their choice.

I do agree if a lady does not see a certain nationality she needs to put it in her ads and/or website so there is no confusion and the guy can move on.But,to not state at all that she has a preference and allow you to travel for nothing is just plain wrong!The example you stated about giving donation and then the lady saying she does not see men of color sounds like BS.If she does not see men of color then there is no need to accept the donation the session is not going to be to your liking because she is not comfortable.
The good news there are plenty of us ladies who would not have an issue that you are african-american at all!
Good luck to you!

I have also seen provider ads in California and Arizona that clearly state: NO HISPANIC MEN (or no mexicans). But they are fewer compared to the ones that state NO BLACK MEN.  

I personally just stay away from those providers. Why bother?!

Jewelsz,
You mentioned you were stiffed quite a bit when you first started hobbying. You mentioned that you would drive all the way to her incall & the provider wouldnt answer the door.
Its because she looked through the peephole or out the window and realized that you are black. So she decided not to answer the door.

In my opinion,you need to ask the provider prior to booking an appointment if she sees  men of color. It's important that she knows that you are an african american. Some ladies date black men & some don't. No matter what her reasons are , it's her perogative & we have to respect her wishes.

Words to Hobby by:: "NO SURPRISES"

This is just my opinion, but I hope this helps.


xoxo,
Your Rockstar Barbie Doll
Krista Starr

I have talked to some other providers and the most common reason I hear is that they consider black men to be cheap and believe that they will try to negotiate rates. I've also been told that they won't see black men because their penis is too big. Some even state that they are somewhat afraid of black men or feel like the black guy will be a pimp that's trying to recruit them.

I am a black provider and I will say that, on average and in my experience (may not be true for all providers), I have had more black men try to negotiate rates than clients of any other color. But that also depends on what city I'm in (if I'm in a city that has a large population of black people then statistically it would make sense taht I would have more black men that are trying to penny pinch). However, one of my best clients is black so to exclude any race is nonsense to me. Providers who do so are definitely missing out on some good hobbyists, but hey, more for me

First tell them if they see African American men before heading out if they have no reviews. It saves you time from heading out, spending gas, and wasting time. I don't think its a big issue if you ask them (if the providers don't have a review). Also, how are you dressed when shown up? If you dress like a thug, then they might be intimidated to open the door. Are you intimidating--your physic or stature? If so, then try to dress causal-professional. No offense, but you do know why some providers post that up right? I am not bias or racist, but they post that up because they do not want to be a victim of robbery. I see post up all the time from providers, stating that a black man just robed them versus, if it was a white man, then its an LE sting.

I always get LE check all the time because I look like a white cop, so I can feel you pain. Anyways, just ask those providers, "hey, I am African American, and just curious if you see guys like us", if yes, then they would say, "oh, of course honey", then you say, "great, see you in a little bit", then you go and tap that ass brother. It doesn't hurt to ask, I've been in your position, not literally, but similarly.

.... men are color are okay. Because not every lady will have on her site or advertisement her preference of men as far as race is concerned or has a booking for that doesn't asked for your ethnicity/race.

Racism exists even in the hobby on both ends sure but  it is not always the case  when/if a lady does not want to see Black men (be they AA, Caribbean, African etc).

does that matter? I have rather large.....hands and feet.

... racism does exist on both sides of the envelope.  While I agree that the lady has the right to choose whomever she will/will not see, and that it is indeed her responsibility to make her standards clear in her ads/website, it is obvious that this not always the case in real life.  Since you can't control who she is willing to see or if she's going to advertise any restrictions, it does fall to you to protect your own interests by investigating the matter yourself.  

Most of my "friends of color" have mentioned their ethnicity in the initial contact.  Something along the lines of "I'm of Indian/ African/ Asian/ Middle Eastern/ etc descent".  For some, this part of the inquiry is the very first thing that gets brought up - even before a proposed date to meet or before any screening info is offered.  From this, I would presume that there are enough ladies out there discriminating against different races to make this the first and most important question to get out of the way.  That's sad, but it is what it is.  

Personally, I have no issues regarding race and have never understood those who do.  So long as the gent's screening checks out, his correspondence shows him to be appropriate and respectful, and in person he is hygienic, personable and gentlemanly then we are sure to enjoy ourselves!

I completely agree, Pitt.

It is the provider's responsibility to dictate and convey who she will or will not see on her website and her profiles. It is she who is posing those stipulations, and why should a potential hobbyist take the time to accommodate her ambiguous comfort level while setting up the appointment, just because he's a minority?
I've never gotten a call from someone who was white who told me, "By the way, I am a white man. DO you still want to see me?" We don't have to respect her "wishes" if her racist business practices aren't blatantly conveyed on her website. If they are, then men of minority know to stay away, and hopefully so do others... It's that simple. Oh, how infuriating!

but so long as you're a gentleman, we'll get along fine.  Though, I must confess, I do draw the line at suckers....they leave marks.  

I feel the same way. If a person chooses to be a close minded racist bigot, then s/he should announce it beforehand. As long as his money is green and the good Lord forgives the sinnin' I play with all races, colors, creeds, and genders! Trust me, it's MUCH MUCH more fun!

I hope these girls continue to ignorantly discriminate! That just leaves most professional athletes, bodybuilders, servicemen, hip hop stars, music producers and the President to me!!!

Lastly, if you arrive at someone's house and she can't even open the door for you after you've been screened et al, then please review her. That's simply rude unladylike behavior.

Lol. But YOU probably only see white girls! j/k.

Best,
Katie

Jewelsz --

I am so sorry that you have ever had to experience any responses of the sort with any providers. Such blatant bigotry is unacceptable, and you shouldn't have to tolerate it whatsoever. Under no circumstances should you ever have to disclose your race to a provider just to insure that she will be comfortable in seeing you. By doing so, quite frankly, you are acquiescing and perpetuating the absurd notion that this sort of bigotry within hobbying is tolerable and par for the course. As I stated in an additional response in this same thread, if a provider is so opposed to seeing any person from a given demographic, then her stipulations need to be clearly stated on her website or profile so that neither person's time is wasted.

As for many providers' reasoning behind not seeing black men, I have had a very different collection of experiences. The very few times that I have been ripped off have all been by white men who didn't respect the amount of my time they were cutting into, came unprepared monetarily in case they did so, or would try to hit me up for a free hour, good THEY had just been in bed to me. My response to those individuals was to not see them again, or to not verify them on various hobbying websites. I didn't stop seeing white guys... Perhaps a provider with such concerns should intensify her screening process or change up her business structure. There have been plenty of times that I was initially mildly surprised by the other person looking at me upon opening the door, for a variety of reasons, but they passed my screening, were respectful and courteous, and I stayed and spent time with them. My philosophy is bringing genuine intimacy and happiness and pleasure to those that decide to see me, and that is what I am committed to providing. If a provider has complained that you are too big, then she can't hang and perhaps should consider a different profession...

Jewelz, as other people have also advised, I would recommend just doing a bit more research on a provider you may want to see and/or make sure she has a non-discriminatory disclaimer on her site so that you don't have to keep wasting time on these women.

Best of luck in your search for someone you're more than compatible with.

Yes its sad even though its 2011 I talked to an sp before during one of her screening method is by email and she says if she see a name like jerome,marcus,shaniqua,etc she wont even bother responding to it

Regardless of their reasons, whom a lady let's inside of her is her choice, and that must always be respected, the OP even acknowledges this. There are ladies out there who do not want to see unnattractive or overweight guys, nor other races or creeds... fine, they have to live with the experience, too. I haven't been turned away yet, and I'll probably be pissed if I am, just like the OP, for wasting my time, but it is what it is. You can't expect people to change who they are overnight, or for anyone else. There are hobbyists who won't see 'X' providers, but the providers don't have to worry because those hobbyist just won't call them... unless their ads portray them something else.

Every provider should be brave enough to list something like this on their website or ad. I can almost guarantee it won't affect their business, but it can reduce calls from people they won't see anyways. I'm not a black man, but I've seen a couple of provider's ads that exclude me from calling, I just look to the next lady. I don't harbor negative feelings, and am in fact glad they put their requirements up before I put myself through the trouble and possibly embarrassment of being turned down face to face.

The real issue is wasting the man's time, and the negative experience. Sometimes, providers may forget that we come to them not only for the physical pleasure, but also for the pleasure of being with someone who accepts us as we are, even if only for a short time. That one hour might be just what the man needs to get him through the next month of being overworked, underappreciated, dealing with stress, etc., etc. Driving across town for a moment of happiness, only to have it turn into disappointment and regret can be a real kick in the stomach.

Here's hoping you have better experiences, and meet some ladies that you can visit regularly and not have to put up with this anymore. Hopefully the ladies you meet can recommend you to friends of theirs...

I've only got one, and promise not to leave any marks...

Well stated. I think many providers forget there is an all encompassing aspect of providing which also includes the areas you have mentioned - to be accepted for who you are. No matter who you are. I see everyone - all races, couples, women and handicapped clients. The only thing I ask from anyone is to be clean and respectful.

I recently met with a well-reviewed provider, bringing her a bottle of wine as we had agreed. As we took a sip she looked at the bottle and said it was good, though she generally avoided anything French. She briefly expressed why, suffice it to say that France is bad, the French evil, and so she is boycotting the entire country. Later she took a swipe at Afghans.

The ensuing session had other issues, too, so I cannot say things would have turned out well in any case, but my interest began to cool at that point. Perhaps she has to listen to a lot of guys spew that type of stuff, or maybe just lives in a world where it is always us against them, and they are all assholes, but that is not my world or what I want to hear about.

Using an alias here because I did not include this detail in my review (we did email and I gently tried to tell her about the issue, without success) and I do not want anyone to play the "guess the provider" game.

No matter what is done, prejudice will always exist, it's human nature. Someone else always has to be the bad guy, the source of all problems, the scapegoat. If you lived in a country where everyone was the same race, they'd single each other out by geography, hair color, accent, social class, gender, education, religion, clothes, height, weight, age, whatever. Prejudice will be around until there is only one person left on earth, and then that person will turn their hate to the world for being alone...

Katie said it so well!

Hopefully you won't let her get away with that! Others (both men of color and those with a conscience who refuse to support racism) need to know what to expect from this incredibly disrespectful provider.

I personally love to experience the thrill of opening the door and seeing who's behind it, I don't care to ask upfront... (Just please don't be LE and we're good!) I have had some great experiences with every race and a few not so great ones too, but I would never generalize and refuse to see a whole group of men because of one not so pleasant experience, whether it be a haggler or a very endowed man or whatever other bs some like to use as an excuse...

Now, I don't know if this makes you feel any better, but I know a few girls who practically pray to get black clients. lol They pretty much have the same stereotype in their mind about their size that the girls who refuse to see black men. These girls use escorting as almost an excuse to be naughty and do the things that they have always wanted to try but never had the guts to go for. Most of them (3 that I know) are your typical good girls, studying in college and escorting is their getaway from everyday life. How do I know? Let's just say I'm sort of guilty of the "escorting for the thrill" mentality too.

I hope you will never have an experience like that. Don't let that discourage you, plenty of fun girls out there who will love partying with you!