I'm just going to say it: I suck at DATY. I would like to be better at it, I don't mind doing it, but I'm embarrassed that I suck at it. I've tried, but I never learned to do it well. (I can't surf either -- I've tried that, too.)
It gets in the way for me in this hobby because I feel like I'm supposed to be good at it (every time I read a review that says "I DATY'd and she had an O" I cross that provider off the list because I won't be able to live up to the prior hobbyist.
My question is: How weird would it be if I told a provider that I'd like her to teach me how to DATY? I mean, I'm spending X dollars for an hour -- if I want 30 minutes of DATY lessons, is that OK? Sure, if I'm spending hundreds of dollars an hour I'd like to get off before I leave, but at my age I'm usually a one shot guy so there is no real hurry for me to get there.
Due to the usual contact protocol (that is, you don't want to be too graphic in any initial contact) I don't know when the best time for me to raise this with a provider would be. I mean, I can't send a provider an email that says "I think you're beautiful, would you teach me how to eat your pussy."
Any advice you have would be appreciated.
All you need do is ask them. And don't be embarrassed about that whatsoever. I asked one gal last summer (I had the exact same question on this as you at the time) to show me how to DATY. She was kind enough to lend me a couple of DVD's (I suspect you could find these online) which I watched (and they were educational vs porn). When I was ready to practice, my gal pal was more than accomodating in letting me DATY while she would "gently" show me what worked best for her. And now a year later and every time we meet she always places that towel under her...as she suggests that I am doing a "good job". And it does seem that many of the other gals I have seen seem to like what she has helped teach me.
The reviews that you are reading are, in many instances, quite embellished. Don't pay a whole lot of attention to the reviewers retelling of a story on how many O's she had. Frankly, if you get to know some gals well feel free to ask them how often they will O on an initial date. And the reply in most cases will be "almost never". The gals like to do the oohhs and aahhs for us as this is a fantasy, and that is part of it. If you are seeing a gal over and over you will get a much better feel when she really does O, and you will also know when the gal's are just "hoping you finish up".
Don't send a provider an email asking this specific question. Set up a session, and once you are in the room let her know what you are really seeking to do (and DON'T be shy).
And finally, if DATY is NOT something you really enjoy, you are under NO pressure to ever perform this. You are paying her for your fantasy, not the other way around.
Play smart and play safe...and only see well reviewed providers.
Read the reviews of the providers in your area and find one that seems to enjoy DATY but also understand her response as descrived in her reviews ("she and an O") is likely an act. That doesn't mean she won't enjoy it and be willing to teach you. Most well-reviewed gals will be quite willing to help you along. They'd rather be with an honest guy than a braggart who thinks he's god's gift to women. Pick one whose review details say "really bi," because if she likes girls she's probably done a lot of it herself. But wait to discuss this until you're in the room with her and have given her the donation. That's the time to say, "I really want to make love to your pussy but I think I suck at DATY. Would you please teach me how girls like it?" Go for it! DATY is great!
Yea, both of the guys above are correct... I don't see any well-reviewed provider having a problem w/this, & you don't necessarily have to bring it up in the initial e-mail, as that will most likely scare her off, & she'll stop responding to you. Just wait until the appointment.. it's your hour, so if that's what you choose to do with it, I don't see it being a problem. And in response to worrying about living up to the prior hobbyist... don't, lol.. how many guys would put in their review that they tried for hours, & just couldn't get her to 'O'... they won't, they'll embellish
I can't even count how many reviews I've read that include something to the effect of, "I went down on her and she.came three times in a few minutes... and she totally wasn't faking it." I don't think, "what amazing oral skills that guy has." I think, "what a great provider!" heh
Suggest a MILF... +/- 30 say... Just ask for some guidance. Realize that all women are not constructed identically & have their own preferances but there is a certain commonality. I find that alternating techniques is usually appreciated. But you can not "make" a lady O. You are only half the partnership... or as I would describe I am the motor but she is the driver. Do not hold her down... she will move against your stimulation so it is where she wants it. You need be sensitive to her responses... they can be subtile, unless she is actually giving lessons.
As a younger man, I never thought much about my partner's pleasure though apparently everything I did was satisfactory. But now, I am a much more considerate lover & there is a confidence about knowing you can please your partner.
Everyone above is correct. Anyone who is well reviewed GFE would have no problem teaching you. Secondly every lady is different what works with one lady could be terrible with another. The only way to find out what will work is to ask the lady. Also ignore half the reviews saying she O's, look at it as she is a good provider in most cases. Not that some ladies do not O in a session but she has to want to mentally as well as the physical stimulation. The best compliment that I got from a lady that I really believed was that it was pleasant and she enjoyed it. That I could believe more as the honest truth. Go ahead and ask the ladies to give you pointers, enjoy what you can from the experience and don't feel pressured to give the lady an O she is not expecting you to most of the time they are doing DATY because we want to not because she wants it. I have never had a provider say oops you forgot to go down on me hold on no sex yet.
As a provider let me say, don't even exclude someone because you feel you can't live up to something another hobbyist has done. Or purports to have done Each visit should be unique to the individual situation - not a comparison. Not all providers are actually going to "O" each time but it can be an enjoyable experience. You're absolutely right, it is your hour and you should be able to spend it however you want. Recall, the pressure is not just on you to give and "o" but for the provider to be mentally and physically ready to have a real "o". So take your time, make your thoughts known and just relax.
I do DATY because I love it so much. If the provider will let me do it (and not all will), I am not expecting to give her an orgasm, I am just fulfilling my never-ending fantasy of putting my face in a hot girl's crotch.
Pussy eating lessons? Sounds to me like you have kind of exaggerated expectations of what happens with a provider. First off you're going to get some...hopefully not many... who really don't give a damn about you at all and just let you do things to them. On average, though, the provider will be decent enough to be halfway charming and take some interest in your pleasure for the duration of your visit. But the full Girlfriend Experience, where she is *deeply* engaged in you and your whole sexual psyche? Those are kinda rare.
Practice.. Practice.. Practice...
