I've been lurking on this site for sometime. I've been wanting to take the plunge, but I'm really not happy with how I look naked. A bout of anti-depressants put 25 lbs on my already slightly overweight frame. I don't look terrible, but my belly is not flattering at all and so I feel this: I may be paying this girl, but I don't want her to be there wondering if she really gets paid enough. I'm not 'FAT', but plump in the middle and it just doesn't feel right. I feel that these girls work hard for a living and why should they really be subjected to a tubby guy like me is maybe the reason I've been avoiding my first try. Has anyone else had this experience? I've been actually worried that I'll show up and be turned down....It took me months to agree to go to an asian massage parlor, and boy did they ever hit me up for extra, extra, extra money for the happy ending, which made me feel really lousy that had I been better looking they might have been less pushy. Has anyone here ever been turned away from a provider because of how they looked? Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? Do the providers do less good work if they are not attracted to the guy? This is a huge step for me and I've found two providers I find stunning and I'm hesitant to approach them because they look just so damned good, that I feel it would be almost insulting to subject them to me....thoughts?

Artist4muse,

I've clients who are morbidly obese.  I've clients who have been in significant auto accidents or maimed in other manners.  As long as you are clean and nice, you shouldn't worry about how a lady will respond to your winter weight.  Our priorities are elsewhere.

If you are really worried about it (though I wouldn't be), send a photo with your request... a nice touch and noone will ever be suprised or regretful of meeting you based on appearance.

xoxo,
Sola

PS - "almost insulting to subject them to me"?
Please talk to your doctor about those anti-depressants and the way that you are feeling about yourself.  It's possible another perscription may give you better results.

Background: I am 'FAT'.  I'm not in danger of showing up on Springer any time soon, but I am definately not petite.  I prefer the term "well insulated".

I've never met a provider who was horrified by my appearance, or turned me down.  As Sola said, they simply don't care about your appearance as long as you're nice and you're clean.

One thing you may want to consider while you're wracked with self-loathing is that the more experience a provider has, the better she will be able to make your time together regardless of your horrific body image.  Trust me, after a few of those you're body image will move up several notches.

And, btw, talk to your Dr. about your horrific body image (25-50 lbs?  That's nothing).  It's not good for you or your depression.

Don’t worry I have a medical condition that is quite obvious and limits my physical activity. I let the lady know before we meet so it’s not a surprise. The ladies I have seen have been very sweet and understanding. Go ahead and take the plunge

You need not be self-concious!  As long as you are clean, sweet, generous, honest and respectful, you will be fine, honey!  A nice gentleman with manners and who knows how to treat a lady will get me anytime then a GQ guy who knows he's so hot and doesn't feel he has to have manners!  I like select, sweet gentlemen in every sense of the word!

Don't feel self-concious,
Private Goddess

But, don't worry about it.  I fall into that "morbidly obese" category (sola, I know it's the medical term, but it ain't exactly pleasant, I prefer "large american" .  I had the same fears you had.  But, if you're a good guy don't sweat it.  Bottom line is you are paying for services here.  You don't need to send a picture to anyone (I know that can be disheartening as well), if you want just mention that you're self cosncsious about your weight and you hope it won't bother her and I'm sure she'll respond that it won't and she'd be happy to see you, and see you again and again.  If anything, judging from what your self esteem I think you'are a prime suspect to fall a little too hard for a girl that makes you feel good, and you don't want to do that.  It's a business, remember that.    

. . . feel self-conscious.  Choose an escort with lots of recent positive reviews in which her kindness or hospitality are mentioned.  She will have seen and enjoyed different body types.  

Don't worry, it really is a needless concern, I promise.  

How many other people do you know that get paid over 200 an hour ? over 300 an hour ? and so on..

We arent all as flawless either.. Dont be nervous ! We don't discriminate.

I know where you're coming from self. I had some of the same issues when I decided to look into hobbying. When I did gat serious, I did start to walk and eat better. You know what a motivator sex can be, right? I took my first plunge as a reward when I lost ten pounds, and another after five more, and so on. Down 29 lbs since March 1, told you it was a motivator, and intend to lose another 30 to get back in shape. Not for the providers, for me. You may want to try that spin on your dilema...

My first venture in they hobby was at 300lbs+.  I even ventured in the hobby at 400lbs.  Not once has a lady reacted negatively to my size.  At most, they will politely say that you need to loose weight, and you will find that not all of the angles work too well.

Today, 5 and 1/2 after my gastric bypass surgery (aka stomach stapling) I am about 240lbs. I may not be huge, but I have plenty of excess skin.  Still, every time I see my 2 ATF's the always comment on how great I look, and how happy they are of for!!!

-- Modified on 5/3/2006 7:23:01 PM

Hello there Artist4muse....

I was really saddened to read about your apprehension to contact a provider for fear of fealing "FAT". It is unfortunate that our society has painted a picture that depicts a physique which may or may not be healthy for one to achieve. Having a "sick pack" equals happiness and popularity? I don't think so, especially if you have gotten to that point by starvation, drugs, etc.

So, I have been involved in this lifestyle on and off for over 15 years, and I have visited with all different body types and personalities. I have visited with quite a many gentlemen with whom are physically within the realms of the "normal" weight. Yet their personality may abhorable and downright egotistical. Obviously, I know it is my job to create an unforgetable experience, so as the saying goes "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" - and so I do.

From what you have written, you sound like a very compassionate gentleman. One with whom most providers would sincerely enjoy spending time - regardless of your size. Cleanliness and respect go a long way in this lifestyle - trust me.

I wish you the best. Please take care of yourself.

Jennifer Lee xoxo

I too am the "My own Zip Code" category.  I currently weight 271 (that's 42 pounds lighter than 4 monthes ago.  I am contiueing to loose the weight.  I too was afraid that the provider would run out the room sreaming.  Thankfully, with everones help here.  I was able to have a great first time.  I was fortunate, the Lady I spent my time with was very reassuraning and understanding.  

Difiitely, the angles are a major drwaback.  you will have experienment and let Her take charge.  I agree that the Clean and fresh is the way to go.  I even as far as buying brand new socks.  LOL.  One thing I will advise against.  Methalated (SP??) talc powder in your boxer shorts.  (nothing worse than a fat man dancing around and yelling!)  I can't believe I wrote that. Well, live and learn.  She will appreciate your efforts to please them.

If an escort discriminated against overweight men her client base would shrink significantly as the majority of Americans are overweight!  

Many providers ask you for your physical description when you request a date.  Be honest and if she is not comfortable with your height/weight proportions she will decline meeting you. I highly doubt you will run into this though, but it allows you to feel secure in that she will not turn you away once she sees you.  

You may want to tell the lady, once you are verified and everyone is comfortable, that you enjoy a room with candlelight.  Candlelight is flattering and even the most secure person feels a little overexposed while naked in a room bursting with sunlight.  

Know your limits.  It doesn't sound like you are morbidly obese, but you might forgo certain positions that would be uncomfortable for her and for you.  

In moderation, of course, wine can help you relax.  So, assuming you drink wine see if she would indulge in a glass with you and if so, bring a bottle.

Of course, be clean and polite.  Even Brad Pitt would be grody with dirty underpants or a nasty attitude.

Kate

You need to realize that some of these ladies see guys that are overweight and mean.  If you're overweight and nice, it's a win.  I'm "only" 25 lbs over my target, and they seem to love me, so go figure.

their views are representative of my many, obese, years in the hobby.  Fat guys can have lots of fun!!!

Visit a well reviewed lady.  Trust me, she has seen men of all shapes, sizes and conditions.  

art4muse, assuming you show some kindness, and show up clean, the chances that you will be the most hidious creature she has been with, is just as about as remote her seeing her ideal man!  A well reviewed lady will treat you right!!!

-- Modified on 5/6/2006 12:51:50 AM

Thank you all for your input on this rather delicate topic. It just seems then that a hobby like this is a real privilege because under normal circumstances I am unable to date a girl who is as beautiful as most of the girls I see in this profession. I still feel a bit uncomfortable but I will endeavor to put it aside and try to enjoy myself nonetheless. I really like the idea of the reward system and it seems terribly appropriate to revisit the same provider who was kind when you weren't at your best. I've never been this large before and I blame the anti-depressants, but its still hard work that I have to do in order to fix it. Sex is a powerful motivator and I wonder if I had had the courage to adopt this hobby a year ago, would I have actually needed the anti-depressants, which were largely because I was depressed that I was unable, on any measure, to have physical relationship with a woman ( not for lack of trying, but simply lack of appeal perhaps...not sure really ). Anyway, I can go on and on about this, but certainly I think it is important to me that whomever I visit, I make them feel just as good as they will strive to make me feel. I am hoping that this sort of experience will go a long way in letting me work harder to feel better about myself. THe first time I go, no doubt I will be so nervous, seeing as how I've not been with another woman in 10 years - not counting the one chinese massage which was a happy ending. I was SO nervous about that it took me two visits to truly have a happy ending. I can just imagine how truly anxious I'll be in this case. Wish me luck!

You need a shot of self esteem.  You're not cruising the juice bar at the health club, You're buying (renting) it.  But if you insist, until you improve your self image, find a less attractive provider!

I agree with everyone, I've has fat, short, missing limbs, bald, acne covered face and body. I do not look at a client's looks, I focus on their attitude and cleanliness. As another poster mentioned look for providers with reviews describing friendliness, comforting, down to earth and you will NOT have any probs trust me.
Also as Ciara pointed out, we are PROviders, we are so good at what we do because we are professionals that love to please, I would never mistreat a client because of looks, or physical handicap, I just see MY CLIENT and I go out of my way to please, because the time you spend with me is FOR YOU not for me.
Kisses
Winter