SHE cancelled appts, SHE rescheduled constantly & SHE NCNS you.. so you started seeing other ladies. More than likely she is doing it out of spite, thinking you won't be able to see other ladies & will have to see her. If you have in fact seen other ladies, just start using them as references.
The only time I will no longer give a gent references is if it has been over a year since I have seen him.. or the one's who see you one time, use you as a reference for 10 other ladies & still keep trying to use me as a reference 1-2 years later.. I can no longer verify how you are after that much time has passed. But IMO, you did nothing wrong & it is on her end.
I have been hobbying for a year and half now since my separation from my SO, and so far it has been great. I have only really seen a few ladies (7 to be exact and 4 of them just last month) and so far the experience of hobbying is everything I have expected to be. Different beautiful ladies and none of the crap from marriage.
The only confusion that I have now is a provider that I see regularly. I have been seeing her regularly twice a month since my first visit, but lately due to her schedule, i.e., cancellations, reschedulings, and even no show (not answering after I arrived at incall) at one of agreed time, I started seeing other ladies instead of her regularly. I was using her as a reference, but in the last visit I had with her two days ago, she asked me not to use her as a reference again. I thought that was strange, but I didn't ask her why. Since I am fairly new to hobbying, is there some sort of hobbying ettiquete that I missed?
and it seems like you do, go ahead and ask her.
Some gals don't do references at all for various reasons, but if she used to and no longer will, either her policy changed or she is worried about losing you to another, or perhaps there is something else.
So ask her and she what she says. At least you'll get some feedback on what is going on.
SHE cancelled appts, SHE rescheduled constantly & SHE NCNS you.. so you started seeing other ladies. More than likely she is doing it out of spite, thinking you won't be able to see other ladies & will have to see her. If you have in fact seen other ladies, just start using them as references.
The only time I will no longer give a gent references is if it has been over a year since I have seen him.. or the one's who see you one time, use you as a reference for 10 other ladies & still keep trying to use me as a reference 1-2 years later.. I can no longer verify how you are after that much time has passed. But IMO, you did nothing wrong & it is on her end.
I'd be curious too, but anything's possible. No downside in asking her. But since you've seen 7 providers, and you've been happy and they have, that should give you more than enough who you can use for references.
should have thought of that before letting her TCB skills go by the wayside. Being possessive has no place in this hobby...she needs to get married to you, if she wants you to herself lol.
It probably annoys her each time a lady calls her for a ref knowing that's money she fked up...oh well, that's life. Use the other ladies as refs.
I am with Nickey here...only time I won't provide a ref is if it is too old, or I really don't remember the guy.
-- Modified on 7/5/2012 1:44:25 PM
I have a provider I've visited a few times and I know she won't do phone references. She asks that people email her... and I've met with some providers who won't use someone who won't take a phone call. It's their business and their decision on how and if they'll provide a reference.
It's always possible there's some emotion involved and honestly, you can't do anything about that.
Good luck to you.
Unless she had a very valid excuse.
The only reason why I used her as a reference instead of others was because she is the only one that I see regularly for the last year and a half. The other ladies were all just one time visits. I figured the best reference would be the lady that has seen me over and over again but I guess I won't know why she won't reference me unless I ask her but I probably won't because hobbying is about freedom to choose difference ladies without any drama. I am going to start using the other ladies as my references then and rethink if I even want to continue seeing her regularly.
Since you have seen other ladies, and 4 just in the past month, you should obviously have other references you can use, so why worry about this one. No you didn't miss any hobby ettiquette. I'm not sure why you are even still seeing her after the no show. If you do see her again, you could ask her (as mrfisher said) why she does not want you to use her as a reference. She is the only one who knows the real answer. (But she may not tell you the real answer)
If she's given you six references she knows you are seeing a lot of other women. I'm guessing she simply wants to see more of you and your donation. By not giving you a reference she thinks that she is making it more difficult for you to see other girls. It sounds like her behavior may be adding up to reliability issues on her part.
she asked you not too..follow her wishes..she has here reasons..dont worry about it ..move on..never open up a can of worms when you cant get them back in the can again..
The only confusion that I have now is a provider that I see regularly. I have been seeing her regularly twice a month since my first visit, but lately due to her schedule, i.e., cancellations, reschedulings, and even no show (not answering after I arrived at incall) at one of agreed time, I started seeing other ladies instead of her regularly. I was using her as a reference, but in the last visit I had with her two days ago, she asked me not to use her as a reference again. I thought that was strange, but I didn't ask her why. Since I am fairly new to hobbying, is there some sort of hobbying ettiquete that I missed?
I agree with what everyone else is saying. She wants to keep your donations to herself and not share you.
I would recommend joining either P411 or DateCheck. Surely one of the other ladies you've seen would be a member and can refer you. But joining either of these sites for references/OK's works really well.
I've stopped asking for provider references because of the drama involved. I will gladly give them, but because of BS just like this I no longer ask for them. It's nobody's else's biz who I'm seeing and who's seeing me.
It's always a potentially touchy when you see a girl and connect, and then ask her to be a reference for other girls.
I tend to see visiting providers in NYC a lot, and I always tend to use them as references. They don't expect exclusivity, as they are traveling and visiting.
I would cut this one loose. Doesn't seem worth it at all.