I just don't understand it.  Why would a woman make a date, go through a thorough verification, and then stand a guy up?  It's got to destroy their business in the long run.

A professional must sell his/her time.  Use it or lose it.  If I stand my dentist up he sends me a bill for a missed appointment.  Unfortunately, a provider can't do that; all she can do is threaten to never make another appointment with that hobbyist. If I'm going to be late or miss an appointment common courtesy absolutely demands that I call and cancel.  If I cancel at the last minute such that the provider has set aside time for me that she must now write off I try to make some financial compensation.

But now I'm asking about the other side of that coin.  We make a date with several emails and phone calls.  It should be perfectly clear.  Then I drive 45 minutes to get that second call but it never comes.  I try calling her and get no answer.  I hang around half an hour before I finally give up and drive another 45 minutes home.  Total cost to me is two hours, a lot of gasoline and frustration.  It is probably pretty costly to her as well since I usually book two-hour appointments.  Does she really not care?

I'd really like to give her a scathing review.  She deserves it.  My fellow hobbyists deserve it and I might feel better getting it off my chest.  But I can't do that.  When she verified me she got my real name so I'm vulnerable and don't want to piss her off.

I don't understand it either. It just happens. What can do about, not a whole lot, since the provider has your real name. But look at the link, just happened to a gentleman, where I hobby. He named names

TER policy is that you can't write a review for a session that never happened.

My advice is to make a post on your local board warning your fellow hobbyists, aside from that there is little you can do. Yes NCNS sucks, but unfortunately it's part of life, and definitely part of the hobby.

board.

But since there wasn't a session you can not write a review.

I would just move on...

Put her on your personal DNS list.

You never know what might have happened, an accident, a friend or family member in the hospital, death for all you know. Email her and nicely ask what happened. If no response, then just move on.

A month ago I had to make a trip to a city where I have previously seen a favorite lady.  I contacted said lady and she was able to set me up with a 3 hour appointment, super.  The day before I was supposed to leave, my business meeting was cancelled.  hmmm!
I decided to make the trip anyway.  I had time to get away, I had an itch I wanted scratched and I didn't want to cancel on my play date at the last minute.    

Happens everyday I know, except I live in the middle of nowhere and it was a 500 mile trip.    Ya, I was a little NERVOUS about something coming up, But with women, trust is a must.

Everything worked out, knock on wood, and she was well worth the trip.

OK, I've got my eyes closed and covered my ears, let me have it.

TH

I feel your pain. I had the same experience today. I'm fairly new to the hobby and I got a free pass in the big city, so I decided to take a chance that the top of my bucket list was available. It was far enough in advance and she just happened to be in town, so we were able to set it up.

Verified, confirmed and confirmed again this morning. Time comes and she's not answering her phone. I tried a few times over the next 30 minutes and nothing. Now, we're talking one of the top-5 providers in Chicago, folks. You'd have to look really hard before you found the first sub-9 rating, and it's probably not on the first 2 pages of her reviews.

There needs to be some sort of accountability, here. I understand that shit happens, but what if this shit is happening every week? What if they're double-booking to compensate for their own cancels/no-shows and I drew the short straw? I'd have no way of knowing because it's not part of their 'review'.

I'm expecting a call or email explaining things and, frankly, she's still at the top of my list. It'll probably be another 6 months before I can arrange the perfect time, but such is life. Luckily, I made the most of it and used my trusty HobbyFone to find a backup, so the trip wasn't a complete waste.

TER, consider adding a feature to the profiles for tracking bad times.

I've been a TER member for 6 years, and that suggestion has been out there at least that long.  Here's the problem: A guy wants to mess with a girls business, so he claims that she pulled a no-show.  Is it fair to post that?  Clearly, the answer is no.  So, we need the lady to have a say, right?  Which one is going to say, "Yup, I'm a flake"?  They deny, so should it not go up?  In other words, you're asking for a system that will not and can not work.

Currently, the protocol is to post on her local board, explaining what happened.  She gets to issue a rebuttal, her white knights defend her, and other guys can come forth saying that she blew them off as well.  It's not perfect, but it's probably as close as possible.  If you fear that the lady you're interested in has a history of being a flake, search on her local board for her name in the subject line, and go back a ways.  500 days should be plenty.

I've been stood up and it sucks, but there are some things where the fix doesn't help.

There's always going to be a way to manipulate the system with a public forum. With as much subjective information in profiles (one man's 6 is another man's 10), an honest-to-goodness NCNS is fact.

If moderators can take the time to censor/delete posts, why can't they be tasked with verifying the negatives?

Here's what I'm thinking: We place a button on the profile labeled "Bad Stuff" or similar, upon which anyone can choose from possible negatives (no show, late, incapacitated, bad pics, different girl, etc) and provide a little detail. The report goes to the moderators AND the provider's email of record, at which time she can tell her side of the story. Build in protocols to add comments, flag for abuse, etc.

I'd like to know if a provider has been late for every appointment or if she's a no-show once a week. I know from first-hand experience that posting a negative report on the local board isn't something to be taken lightly. More often than not, the messenger gets skewered by the BoardCops and WhiteKnights so that most negatives aren't reported.

For that matter, why should it be limited to Bad Stuff? We can make it a plus/minus system. For example, when I got stood up I called a local service that was able to take me with about 20 minutes notice. I'd LOVE to be able to give them a gold star for last-minute accommodation.

I'm sincerely trying to help make this a more usable tool. I understand that workload is an issue, but every growth stage requires some adaptation. Maybe the answer is to appoint deputy admins among the user base. I'm sure there are a few guys who have the time and inclination to pass judgment on some of the simple board duties.

Other than my own, I don't have access to the reviews until they are out for the general public.  As a moderator, my world is the boards.  There's an invisible man in the booth dealing with reviews.  Well, I think it's a man, but honestly I don't know.  It could even be a goat for all I know.  I doubt goats could handle what you're suggesting.

Yeah just give warning on here or um other sites where you can do so...if she posts on BP put one up there too i've seen guys do that. I am sorry this happened to you I really wish providers and hobbyists would follow that do unto others as you'd have them do unto you rule. On either side it amazes me how easy it is for ADULTS to lack BASIC manners.