Well, after a lot of planning and fighting nerves the whole day, I finally popped my provider cherry, and had myself a great hour...However, that pop was more of a burp, as despite the best efforts of my company, I wasn't able to get it up and/or keep it up long enough for anything, not even to finish.
I realize that this is a topic that has been addressed before, but I am a young guy (see: under 25), and it makes me nervous that I'm already struggling to stay hard. So, I suppose I'm curious as to if any gentlemen had a similar problem their first time with a provider, and if you can apply it to some outside influence (eg, nerves, as was the case with me). Lastly, to any women who read this, should I try to see this provider again to "redeem" myself, or should I just try someone else despite the stigma that's probably on me now? Thank you in advance.
And yes, I realize I'm probably too young to be so strongly pursuing the hobby, but I'd like to know now if I need to make an appointment with my physician.

I'm not a doctor and it hasn't happened to me but if you have performance problems and it was your first time, it was nerves and anxiety.
It's called performance anxiety. Fairly common.

BUT, if it keeps happening, then maybe you need to see a professional.
Maybe a counselor or a psychiatrist more so than a physician since it would be more psychological than physical.
If you wake up with the usual morning wood, you don't need any boner meds going to a physician.

Going to "redeem yourself" is an ego thing...      
Stigma/ schmegma it's all in your mind...
There's no reason to go back to the same girl unless you want to see her again.

You're in all likely probability, you're not even close to the first guy that has had this happened to with the provider you saw..

RH  

Wheww, lots of questions here....

Ok, to address the most pressing concern first - no, you probably don't need to see a Doctor yet. If you are under 25, in reasonably good health, at or near your ideal weight, and taking no or few medications, there is no reason to assume your difficulty was an indication of a serious problem. If your difficulties persist, then you should consider seeing a physician. However, it is perfectly normal for men of ALL ages to experience difficulty maintaining an erection periodically.

Regrettably, the male organ is rather fussy at times, and performance can be impacted by a wide range of factors. Had you eaten that day? How long before your experience, how much, and what you ate can all impact your performance. Rich, fatty foods, and food with a high sodium content can make it difficult to maintain an erection.

What about your hydration? If you are dehydrated that can also have an effect on you. Did you have much to drink that day? Soft drinks and coffee don't count. Although caffeinated beverages do not actually dehydrate you as many believe, they do not add any substantial balance to your fluid intake either. I do not know what part of the country you are in, but we are seeing unusually high temps right now coast to coast. The heat alone can create a problem, but it also makes it easier to become dehydrated.

What about alcohol? Did you have anything to drink prior to your experience?

What about rest? Did you get a decent night's sleep the night before, or were you operating on only 4 or 5 hours of sleep from the night before?

All of these factors can make acheiving and maintaing an erection difficult. No one factor alone is likely to cause a problem. But if you take any one or two of these factors and mix them together with the stress, excitement, uncertainty, and nervousness of a first time experience with a provider, it is not surprising if your performance was less than you expected it to be.

One last personal question for you. Since your experience have you masturbated, and if so, did you have any difficulty in acheiving orgasm? True erectile dysfunction from a physiologic problem as opposed to psychological stressors, or transient factors is marked by difficulties achieving orgasm in all settings, not just with a partner.

Also, how about the chemistry between you and the lady? Did you have any concerns or reservations about her? Did it feel like that "click" you were hoping for wasn't there, or wasn't as good as you expected it to be?

The point for you to remember is that a single incident is nothing to worry about. It is perfectly normal regardless of your age. If you experience a problem again, then you should consider seeing a physician.

There, that takes care of those questions. Now, as to wondering if you should see her again. Remember the old adage about getting back on the horse when you fall off. If you clicked well with your provider, and want to see her again, then definitely do.

I'm reminded of one of my favorite gentlemen. The first time I ever saw him, he was suffering terribly from allergies that day, and had taken a dose of Sudafed for them. Additonally, he takes ACE inhibitors (blood pressure medication), which has a reputation for causing erectile problems. To make a long story short, the soldier wouldn't march that evening no matter how we coaxed it.

He was frustrated, and more than a little bit embarrassed (it was the first time he'd ever experienced problems), but I was understanding and gave him some of the same information I just gave you, as well as explained how the two medications he'd taken both contributed to erectile problems. He said he'd like to see me again sometime if I was willing and I assured him I definitely wanted to as we had unfinished business to attend to! The happy ending is that I have seen him several times since, and the wait was worth it for the fireworks we later set off!! I think it actually made our interaction that much more intimate and bonded too. So, in spite of a difficult beginning, I very much enjoy seeing him, and we very much enjoy our time together.

So, if it had been me, I would certainly want to see you again. I of course can't speak for the provider you saw, but if you clicked with her, I have no doubt that she would not only want to see you again, but will be glad to have a second chance

Finally, pffft stop worrying that you are a bit young to be hobbying. If it intrigues you and interests you, then enjoy. You are definitely not the youngest out there.

I hope you found some of this information helpful, and please don't be so hard on yourself.

-- Modified on 7/18/2006 1:55:22 AM

Do things that will put you at ease...

First maybe this girl wasn't the right girl for your first time.. Was she a "10" model type? A more down to earth girl might help you out.. Don't go for the "prom queen" for your first date Go for the girl in "band" hehe..

Fantasy!! It can help a lot.. Maybe you can role play with her.. Do you have a fantasy or role play that gets you going?

Relax Relax Relax.. You are not testifying in front of Congress.. You are suppose to be having fun.. Don't think about it as something you have to accomplish or redeem yourself at. Before you do anything, touch, hold, feel, play with each other.. If your "big head" is not at ease than your "small head" won't respond well..

Before you go to the doctor for this... Question.. Are you able to have an erection by yourself at any time when you are alone? Or did this happen when you were with the girl? If it happens even when you are on your own  then maybe you might want to see a doctor.

Please don't ever use any suggestions posted on a discussion board in substitution of medical advise. I have no idea whether you have underlying medical conditions or not. (*Only your personal physician would be in a position to tell you that*)

However, I can add a few thoughts and elaborate on a couple already made. My observations and suggestions are only based on my experiences with prior encounters with other hobbyists.

First, I have to agree with the former posters, this is not something that is uncommon. Whether it is over stimulation, over expectations on the part of the hobbyist or a combination of any & all of the above physical conditions already suggested. Sometimes it just happens.

When I meet a new friend, I take a few extra steps and add a bit of energy to try to avoid such a situation. Unless I am absolutely convinced that the gentleman desiring to meet with me has a fantasy of an encounter with a total stranger, I try to establish a comfort level prior to the meeting. I just personally feel it is much easier to seduce(*and be seduced by*) a friend as opposed to a stranger.

If a gentleman, regardless of his age, seems to be challenged at rising to the occasion...... then, I simply make sure he is relaxed and enjoys the interaction and time. Many times, focusing on other aspects will take the pressure off of the performance.... and if it doesn't resolve the challenge then at least the time wasn't a waste as the hobbyist enjoyed the meeting to some degree anyway.

Just my thoughts.....  kisses ~Tori

-- Modified on 7/18/2006 8:45:25 AM

All of the above gave good advice.  To translate some of the stuff:  Too much alcohol (depends on the amount of food eaten and when earlier in the day) can cause a soldier to not rise. Age is also a factor.  The older you get the more you have to pay attention to the details.  

I try to prepare for a date the same way I used to prepare for a game as an athlete.  Plenty of rest the night or two before, plenty of fluids about 6 or 7 days before (sodas & coffee are diuretics and don't count).  I might sip a social drink with the lady if she prefers not to drink alone.  No other alcohol for me on "game day."

Do you need to see a physician?  Well, can you get hard in the privacy of your home while masturbating?  If you've not attempted this, then you need to.  Do what's needed to relax yourself, then spank away.  If you're able to get hard and ejaculate, then I would avoid a physician.  If not, then "yes" go to a Dr.

Let's assume that you can get wood on your own.  Your problem is not physical, but emotional or psychological.  It could simply be a case of the nerves.  Relax.  This has happened to many others.  Usually, it's just a matter of your nerves or your conscience getting the best of you.  If you think it's your conscience telling you that you shouldn't be doing this, then you'll either have to give this up or tell your conscience to take a fucking hike.  What if it's just nerves?  Most likely, this will be the case.  I would try again.  Chances are you won't be as nervous on your next attempt.  Don't obssess about getting hard.  Too much thinking by the big head on this matter can compromise the little head.  There are steps you can take that might make for better success.  1)Research!!! Get the VIP if you don't have it.  Find a provider that attracts you that has outstanding reviews.  I mean, several solid reviews that have been written by reviewers that have written many other reviews.  This will give you a better idea of what to expect.  Do her reviews state that she does a good job of making her clients comfortable?  That would be my number 1 criteria.  Does she offer BBBJ?  DATY?  Are her tits good for Russian?  These are some questions you may want answered in the research process if these things appeal to you.  That way if she or you are not big into conversation and you're not erect, then physically she and you can do things that don't require a condom.  Once you dive into one or more of these areas: RELAX, don't think too much.  Enjoy the sensations.  Chances are you'll rise to the occasion.

is heart broken that you could not get it up for her. I think that you should make it up to her by offering her a free session.

It was probably nervousness like everyone has said. If not have some Questions for you.

Are you overweight? They say that being overweight restricts blood flow.

How long as it been since you ejaculated before you saw the provider? That might play a factor. If you did it before your meeting or do alot of masturbation, you may have desensitized and/or emptied yourself. On the flip side, if you don't do it alot, it may affect you also. For me, when I was in my 20's, I used to give up all forms of Sex for Lent (just the movie 40 days and 40 nights, but I did this before the movie came out[actually Lent is 47 days...at least this year]). When I was in my late 20's and after doing the Lent thing, I found myself getting soft for my second rounds, which I always Rock hard for hours no matter how many times I came. After a couple of weeks I was back to normal, but I vowed never to give it up for Lent anymore because I thought I might never recover. I'm in my early 30's now.

-- Modified on 7/18/2006 9:21:43 PM

This happened to me as well during my first encounter, and I was 20 at the time and in decent health.  I later concluded that I couldn't rise to the occasion because of a combination of nerves, expectations, and medication.

Regarding the nerves and other psychological comfort barriers, I found that with time and more experience these things no longer were an issue.  With comfort comes confidence.

As far as medical advice, I'm no physician.  Speaking for myself, I asked my doctor about alternative medications and other possible solutions.

I've found that when the little head could care less about what's going on, it's better to just go with the flow (easier said than done).  If you act overly frustrated, start beating yourself, over analyze, cry woe is me, etc., the mood won't improve any.  If you can realize that it happens to a lot of guys at some point for a slew of reasons, try to play it off, act cool, and remain positive, I think the provider will appreciate your non-chalance.  As someone mentioned earlier, if you take your mind off the problem, it may fix itself through the resulting relaxtion.

Just my opinion, not professional advice.

Practice makes perfect!  So, practice, practice, practice!

Good thing you didn't throw up.

Go back to see her if you clicked, otherwise, find another beauty to get it up/on with.

Thank you, everybody, for the multiple responses and feedback. After reading all of that, it seems like nerves most definitely did me in. A 4 hour car ride that day and little sleep the night before probably didn't me help either. Hopefully my weight isn't an issue as one member stated (at 6'2, 230, I suppose "big and tall" would be accurate enough), but perhaps a few miles on the treadmill wouldn't kill me.
Anyway, with all that in mind, I hope to get back  into it soon enough, thanks to your encouragement and knowledge that I wasn't the torchbearer of this little "problem". Another reason why this site is so great for frantic n00bs like me.

And yes, bballs, I'm glad I didn't throw up, either.

and dont worry about the age thing.  im under 25 as well but im still trying to pop my provider cherry as well... those darn references...

i work/study in the medical field so dont worry about your problems.  most of the responses that youve received are right on the money... its a psychological thing. once you start getting comfortable, itll probably ease up... g luck!